This means I am forced to keep quiet and rest. For someone who is driven to talk a lot, this is the worst thing that could happen. I am not good at being quiet except when I absolutely have to. Talk is my trademark, my tool of trade.
THE ENVIRONMENT: Gen 3:8 "then the man and his wife heard the sound Of the Lord God as he was walking in the evening in the cool of the day". God came visiting His creation in the cool of the day not when its hot and sunny; in an idyllic setting. Effective communication cannot take place in a noisy environment neither does relationship thrive in stormy circumstances. Its just like discussing love matters in a packed stadium during a football match for that matter. In such an event, the speaker will be shouting and we know shouting is not communication while the listener is busy sifting through the noise to make meaning of what is being said. Both are thereby struggling to benefit from the communicative event.
ii. value becomes lost given the non- conducive environment.
iii. communicative event becomes non productive.
iv. Relationship breakdown.
. So find or create the niche environment that works for you.
THE SPEAKER; the speaker must have something of value to share with the listener. "everything you say should be kind and well thought of" Colossians 4:6. you should leave a communication event better than when you started. God has something beautiful to say and wants to hear what you have to say too-communication is a two way event. No right thinking person bursts into a scene, have his say and walks out without expecting a response that would be a monologue not dialogue. In a relationship you talk not speak as talk is more engaging
THE LISTENER: listening is an essential skill in communication. Some people are great speakers but horrible listeners as mentioned earlier. That is why listening is an art form that can be cultivated "be quick to listen but slow to speak" James 1:19. In the rush of too many words we may inadvertently hurt another.
DON'T USE WORDS AS WEAPONS: have you heard you the poem "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? well, that's so not true! Hateful words cause deeper wounds and leave emotional scars. So watch it.
BE CLEAR: Say what you mean and mean what you say-no double meaning.
BE MINDFUL OF NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE: Body language is a non verbal form of communication that may reveal clues to a person's real intention. It might be unspoken but speaks volume in touch, gesture and perception. Sometimes before you open your mouth to speak, your body has done all the talking.
FEEDBACK: Feedback is the response of an audience to a message. it shows the participant in the communication even understands what has been transmitted and provides an adequate response. It shows the communication has truly involved the participants. Don't assume your partner understand what has been said, ask for their opinion or input on the matter.
MAKE AN EFFORT; Scriptures records that Jesus gets up early while it was still dark to Pray. Mark 1:35. Jesus recognised the necessity of making time for God. Nobody can lay claim to be busier than Jesus but he consciously carved out time for fellowship with God. He understood the importance of communication to his relationship with God and success in ministry.
A lot of couples are caught in the mad rush to make ends meet and important communications are most times shared via e mails, text and phone calls. Most face to face encounters are made brushing past each other as they rush to work and small talks at bed time. No wonder a lot of relationships are suffering. Technology is meant to enhance not replace face time. For any relationship to thrive, communication must be deliberate and proper face time deliberately ear marked.
SEEK IT OUT: Yes! seek quality communication with your partner don't just wish it into existence. Remember it takes making an effort. In Genesis 3, God sought Adam and Eve out. He didn't leave the job to his creation alone. He went looking for them.
CONCENTRATION: I love the idea of date nights for couples. Just two of you without interference from the children. Its a perfect chance to catch up with each other and steer the focus off diapers and school fees. Date night allows couples focus on each other without distraction. It create room for concentration. Please, this not the time for facebook chat, remember why you are there.
Some times strategic intervention such as counselling are required to rekindle the spark, if so seek it . Every successful relationship involves two matured adult who are are willing to make the necessary efforts to make it so. For Zechariah the father of John the baptist, His tongue was stilled so the promise of God will not be delayed because of unbelief thankfully mine is a simple sore throat. Quietness is not my strength but it can be learnt. Perfect chance to catch up on my bible reading plan and simply bask in the warmth of God's love. It'll be a long appreciated rest in stillness and quietness not to forget requisite mug of green tea. That can't be too bad.