Thursday, 26 November 2009

Reaching beyond The pain

Have you ever been hurt or betrayed? It hurts doesn't it? well, I have been hurt so many times that I have lost count. Infact,I have stopped counting. My ability to hurt and feel pain only reflects my humanity.But I dont love being hurt or be the one that inflicts pain on others. I have a track record of avoiding confrontations or any situation that will bring a fellow human to despair or tears. So it hurts when others are inconsiderate and selfish maybe even self centered.
I hate to fight but that doesn't make me a sissy. I prefer calm, rational discussions but it seems if you dont fight people just walk over and trample on your feelings.
The hypocrisy of it all is when we profess we are christians. we talk the talk but dont walk the walk. Holding or keeping grudges has become a regular past-time maybe even a lifestyle. There is no longer any clear cut difference between belivers and unbelievers. we share the same pursuits, ideals and probably methods of winning. Woe betides whosoever unfortunately stands in our ways. Isn't that sad?
I hate to see people cry. A close pal of mine called me two nights ago and was crying.She had been betrayed by a close relative. Her tears broke my heart cos I could feel the pain in her voice. I felt like giving her a hug, take the pain way but she was thousands of miles away. I was not physically beside her but I helped solve the problem and that made me feel good.
I love helping people. I love making others feel good but there is hardly anyone to reach when I need a hug or just someone to talk with. It used to hurt when people are unappreciative of a kind gesture but it does not matter anymore.Despite this shortcoming in human nature, I still chose to be who I am-Mrs Clause. I am proud to be a daughter of Zion designed to show love and shower love.
I am not perfect but I am striving to be who God has called me out to be. I have learnt to reach beyond the valley of pain and forgive betrayals, hurts and disappointments. There is no comfort in pain or reward in vengance so why hold on to grief,depression or any negative emotion? Its a dark hole that offers no true peace.
In everything "Let go and Let God"
Its time to embrace peace and move on from the valley of despair though I learnt that lesson the hard way. If you are bitter and angry,check out your opponent he/she is probably having a ball( i bet it hurts real bad).Leave the business of revenge to God and reach beyond the pain. It will eventually feel good and that my friend is a promise!!!!

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Climate Change a Scary Reality

Its been raining ceaselessly in the last couple of days with severe flooding causing widespread damage nation wide. Galway,Cork and carlow are the wost hit with houses, farmlands and properties heavily submerged in water. The flooding has already claimed it first human victim in the united kingdom as a police officer was swept away by rising water while on duty.
Television and the dailies offer no solace from the cold outdoors as views of a world submerged underwater is being projected in a bid to shock nations to curb climate change. It brings to mind movies like "the day after tomorrow" and the realities of global warming and climate change.
Last night, I watched the devastation in Galway and people queing for water. some schools have been closed for health reasons.(how would you tell a 5year old kid not to flush the toilet because of water shortages?). I started to wonder how I would cope if Athy got flooded(God forbid!). Already the River Barrow has over-run its banks. A wise business owner across the road had sand bags in front of his office in preparation if it gets worse. I don't panic easy but if you are a physically challenged single mum with a three year old boy, you've got to be optimistic and not give room for pessimism. The inconvinience would be indescribable. On my way to kildare this morning, I had to drive carefully as I didnt want the old banger to betray me; a better part of the road was covered in water and driving conditions hazardous.
what lessons has the world learnt from the tragedies of hurricane Katrina, the tsunami and other disasters that have rocked the world in recent years.Its no longer news that a huge cause of climate change is man made."Emissions of greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane from heavy industry, transport and agriculture, are resulting in increased air and ocean temperatures, drought, melting ice and snow, rising sea levels, increased rainfall and flooding"(IRish Idependent 2009).
The benefits of Technology are immeasurable but so are its consequencies when abused. I belive the world has abused technological development. We have advanced so well that its better and cheaper to eat from cans than cook from scratch. It is posh to eat out than stay indoors and cook for the family. The home front is practically non-existent as everyone is chasing the proverbial greener pastures. where are we heading? we'd rather bury our heads in the internet(like moi) than interact with people giving rise to lonely frustrated people). Bear with me here, I'm not condemning technology and its uses but its abuse with reckless and careless living
We owe it to our children and generations to come to combat climate change. A little change in our life styles will make a difference.
According to recent weather forecast, if u'r are still disillusioned and dreaming of a white christmas, you have a veryyyyy looooong wait!!
photos courtesy Irish Independent Newspapers

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Having A Good Attitude

It started out all wrong. Infact I woke up cranky cos I had a miserable night. An annoying phone call right in the middle of a wonderful dream set the ball rolling for a night of tossing and turning. The weather was against me as well, it had rained cats and dogs all through the night and someone somewhere was obviously having fun pouring bucketfull of water on the folks of Ireland. Infact the person must be reeling in laughter watching the frown on my face and the tumoil in my heart. I was really upset and hurt cos I had set great plans for the day.I had gone to bed with a sense of purpose and determination.
However, right in the middle of my morning chores it hit me gobsmack in the face. Why am I allowing the event of the night and the miserable weather set the tone for my day? Ofcourse its annoying that the plans I made the night before had been clogged but I can still make a lemon out of lemonade.
How do we react when things don't play out the way we plan or expect? Do we become grouchy and miserable, blaming the world including God for our miseries? I have learnt that a negative attitude doesn't help anyone especially You n I. It sends wrong signals to people around. You might even be labelled a Kill-joy and lose friends.
With this revelation, I began to confess the word of God to uplift my spirit. I told myself "the joy of the lord is my strength", "This is the day the lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it". Infact I sang myself out of the blue mood". If the dark cloud did not leave, I would have driven driven myelf into the pits of depression.
However, despite my blooming self encouragement, my day continued to spiral out of control but I didn't let go. I just couldn't allow myself to believe God is not in control of my day to day living.
A good attitude is a choice. You choose how you start and end your day just as you choose the people you allow into your life. I'm determined not to allow circumstances and people affect my choices. I choose to have a good attitude against all odds. I may not be where I'm suppose to be or have that dream job but I still believe a good attitude beats a lousy life.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

When God seems far away.

*Nadine*was inconsolable. Tears were streaming down her face n she screamed in pain as the doctor proded her with his gloved hands.*Nky* held her hands and whispered encouraging words into her ears with the hope of stemming the flow of tears. 'it'll soon be over dearie' Nky continue to whisper.'it'll soon be over'. 'But will it ever? Nadine cried and wailed louder.
Her pain was beyond physical as her drug riddled mind went over the day's event. Never had she in her wildest dream thought she'd end up in the hospital, a victim of rape. She never imagined or dreamed she'd lose her virginity suddenly or brutally. The day had started like any other school day. The weather was fantastic and she had her whole life ahead of her.
It had seemed too good to be true when Isa offered to take her home after tutorials that night. she didnt mind cos she was broke and not expecting money from her parents till d end of the month. During the ride,she'd expressed surprise when Isa took the turn that led off campus instead of the one that led to the hostel.He'd answered that he needed to pick up something from his house in town. Isa was her friend, she had nothing to worry about; she trusted him.
He lived on the posh side of town, in a luxurious apartment he shared with two other undergraduate students. However, there were 6 boys in the house that evening,smoking and drinking while watching a movie. she was uneasy and expressed her feelings to Isa who calmed her and mocked her for being a sissy. He took her to his room and left to bring a drink. After 5 minutes, she heard a commotion in the living room and stood to investigate. At the door she was roughly shoved back into the room and the lights switched off. she tried to scream but someone stifled her cry and pushed her to the floor. She struggled but there were 3 of them. 2 held her down n pulled her trousers down. This was not how she imagined she'd lose her virginty. she was saving herself for the right man-for her wedding night.
it hurt but her mind went numb as the 3 of them raped her brutally. Isa was the first and when he was through, he called out to the other guys to have their turns. it seemed like hours but it was mere minutes. They left her in the pool of her own blood. she wept like a child but no sound came from the pain in her heart. Isa came in later and pushed her out of the apartment into the streets. why she asked? but he didnt reply but shut the door in her face. Her tears had dried but her pain was great. She looked around her, why hadn't anyone heard her screams and come to her rescue. She dragged her broken body and began the walk back to school. it was dark and the road lonely but she was beyond fears.What worse could happen, she wondered.
she continued to trudge along the road till she got a lift back to school. Reporting to the school authories was not even an option as she couldn't face the shame or probable ridicule by other students. what would her parents say?
Nadine was 18,an ordinary student with great hopes and aspirations. Never drank or smoke and certainly didnt move with the wrong crowd in school. she was simply a victim of a money-miss-road son's evil plot to be accepted into a student cult.
Why did Isa chose her for his malicious plan? He was supposed to be her friend. where was God when he was concocting his plans? why didn't he stop him or even prevent her from getting into his car.
Nadine is 30 years now and married with 2 kids. she still has occassional flashbacks and wonders why God allowed her to be raped? But she uses her pain to reach out to victims of rape, abuse and other vice.
Why does God allow pain and why do evil doers go unpunished? I don't have answers to these questions but I know and i'm rest assued that "the wicked will not go unpunished".I'm also confident that through the pain and heartache, God is present .He allows pain for a reason and someday it will make sense.paslm 23 says "though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil for though art with me;thy rod and thy staff they comfort me".

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Happily Ever After

I love the idea of love especially romantic love stories. It reminds me of the innocent days of "First love,true love". Awwww, those were the days, when love was not tied to conditions. It did not matter if the dude had money,a car or the material benefits that people seek in relationships these days.
As a younger babe, I read lots of Mills & Boons. The idea of being swept off my feet by an immpossibly handsome rich guy with the happily ever-after endings were impossible to resist. The stories provided a much needed escape from reality. All round me was poverty. Families of more than six were crammed into a one bed "face-me-i-face- you" house. Having to share basic ammenities with eight other families was enough to drive any normal teenage into a fantasy world of luxury.
I had a somewhat priviledged upbringing but most of my childhood friends didnt. My family's rented 3-bed apartment was their hide-out and my mother's left over cookings,5 star cruisine. Most of the girls developed a fondness for Mills & Boons at this time. we always wondered who'll get the best catch(boyfriend)and have the happily ever after. We desired the material possessions but we felt true love was the key to a successful relationship. we wanted true love's magical kiss and poverty was a no no. My close friend Theresa would never read a book whose protagonist was a poor man.Her rationale was why use her money to buy or borrow a book that reflects reality-she craved fantasy.
The harsh truth as we later experienced was that life is actually "a bed of roses"- thorn-filled and the pretty princess always gets her fingers pricked. There are no seven little dwarfs watching out for Sleeping Beauty while she takes her wonder nap. Life is just no fairy tale!!!.it doesn't sting it bites!!!!!.I have learnt nothing absolutely prepares you for adulthood and relationships except the word of God.. "Experience based on the truth of God's words is trully the best teacher".
Despite our expectations some of my mates had a rough introduction to the game of love and were bitterly burnt -*Tina was raped by one of her mum's drunken customers,*Bella became James' punching bag while *Eka was Kelechi's Doormat. Hmmmmm!how did it all go wrong? you are never prepared enough, i guess! Nevertheless, despite my own experiences, i still hope for true love.Infact, i still believe in true love. Love untainted, selfless, strong, honest,truthful and honourable. I am determined to have my fairytale ending cos it is possible to have a "happily ever after"

Friday, 13 November 2009


I promised to get you news, interviews, Travel and tourism, everything plus a bag of chips.Well, i'm working on all that. Just waiting to get my recorder, camera and every other gadget sorted. I'm also carving an office out of my kitchen(i've got this lovely and very large kitchen). so be bear with me.

It Pays To Pray.

One of my all time favourite preaching is by Darlene Bishop titled "Why Won't People Pray". it explores the benefits and importance of having a vibrant prayer life. In other words "a prayerless christian is a powerless christian". one of the mistakes that christians make is believing that prayers must be tied to a particular time and must have a defined format. If you forget to have a quality devotion in the morning before leaving home for work, you can pray on the way to work.It could be while doing the dishes or preparing breakfast. I have discovered that it pays to have stolen quiet moments though nothing beats a quality solitary time with the lord.
The purpose of this post is to celebrate the birth of my little niece, Princess Joyce Olamaoghena-a much awaited and long desired child. The parents had been waiting and expecting for six years after marriage.Of course their faith must have been tested and the fabric of the marriage challenged but thank God their desire came.
One, if not the greatest test of any marriage is if there is a seeming inability of the couple to have children shortly after marriage as expected. Many homes have been broken as a result. In some cultures in Nigeria, six months after the wedding is more than enough period for conception. The in-laws start meddling and questioning the bride(as if its only the woman involved).If you are lucky to have in-laws who respect privacy in marriages its most likely your folks will do the job of poke -nosing in your affairs.
I have had a couple of friends and family members that have been through this problem.A few like my sister-in law are now mothers while some are still waiting.
what advice would you give to a woman that is believing God for a miracle when all else seems to have failed including medical assistance? what advice would you give a woman who's been married for ages without any issue while other couples have babies effortlessly? my answer, keep praying. Its not easy but who said anything good comes easy? proverbs 13 v 12 says "hope deferred makes the heart sick but when the desire comes it is a tree of life"
I am a single mother of one. Despite the challenges I had with my partner,nothing was going to make me abort because i knew pregnancy was a gift and motherhood a priviledge.
Olamaoghena is an Edo name from Nigeria which translates to "the prayer of God".
She is trully a gift from God and the answer to our prayers!!

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Ginger your swagga!

I just heard this song "Ginger ur swagger" by Kc Presh featuring Timaya and totally loved it. They are not really my favourite artistes but i sure love Timaya's attitude( d guy's got swagga). its not by chance i heard the song and fell in love with it the same day i decided to up my tempo.I got tired of just flowing with the crowd and not making a difference. I believe life is more than just eat,gist,watch t.v and sleep. That my friend is a vicious circle that goes no where.A life of garbage in n garbage out:useless on earth and irrelevant in might say you don't fall into that category that you have a regular 9 to 5 job but where is that leading? Are u finding fulfilment in what you are doing and making a difference in somebody else's life. Then i believe it is time to up your game and ginger your swagga!
I told myself on the 1st of november that i might not be an inventor or have the sulution to the recession but i have purposed in my heart to make everyday count and not waste time on meaningless pursuits. In line with this, i have set goals for the month and i have actually achieved some. the list is pasted on my wardrobe and its the first thing i see every morning when i wake. some have been difficult to follow but i'm not giving up but will continue to strive till i get the desired results. In the words of Mathew Ashimolowo "it is not over till you win". Remember, no good thing comes easy.
Every success story that we hear and read about came by hard work and strategy. you need a strategy to trully succeed and excel in your chosen endeavours. First corinthians 9:24 says"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. verse 26 further says"Therefore I run thus:not with uncertainty. Thus,I Fight,not as one who beats the air". If so folks,If you want to stand out, map a strategy. you want to excel, Ginger your swagga!

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

The House Of Loko

wow! can't believe i'm actually doing this but what the heck i've got nothing to lose. I've got loads of energy and believe me i'm brimming with loads of stories and ideas to share. Get ready to be bedazzled by "moi".
starting this blog is not only an outlet for me but a journey of self discovery and the emergence of my loko side. I'm unashammedly loko and proud to be me. The term loko literarily means "nut case". If being myself makes me a nutcase then go ahead and call me that( i dare u!).
The house of loko is a celebration of my individuality and qualities that makes me who I am. I am a natural extrovert but there are times that i crave the occassional quiet(i sure love drama). Over the past four years, certain events and circumstances(i'll share them with u later) made me conservative, reserved and a shadow of myself. I became lost in a world that practically lost meaning to me. Those were the dark days but thank God I found the light at the end of the tunnel and came crawling through. The journey was slow and hardous but I came through n swore nothing will take me back, nothing can stop me now. I welcome you to the House of Loko! its a place for those who dare to be themselves. its a place for those who have lost their voice and are seeking to find solace. Once in a while we'll cry together, laugh together but most of all, i believe we will grow together as we share stories and experience.
I am so excited to be on this journey. i am excited you are taking this journey with me.
So welcome to the "House Of Loko"