Sunday, 15 November 2009

When God seems far away.

*Nadine*was inconsolable. Tears were streaming down her face n she screamed in pain as the doctor proded her with his gloved hands.*Nky* held her hands and whispered encouraging words into her ears with the hope of stemming the flow of tears. 'it'll soon be over dearie' Nky continue to whisper.'it'll soon be over'. 'But will it ever? Nadine cried and wailed louder.
Her pain was beyond physical as her drug riddled mind went over the day's event. Never had she in her wildest dream thought she'd end up in the hospital, a victim of rape. She never imagined or dreamed she'd lose her virginity suddenly or brutally. The day had started like any other school day. The weather was fantastic and she had her whole life ahead of her.
It had seemed too good to be true when Isa offered to take her home after tutorials that night. she didnt mind cos she was broke and not expecting money from her parents till d end of the month. During the ride,she'd expressed surprise when Isa took the turn that led off campus instead of the one that led to the hostel.He'd answered that he needed to pick up something from his house in town. Isa was her friend, she had nothing to worry about; she trusted him.
He lived on the posh side of town, in a luxurious apartment he shared with two other undergraduate students. However, there were 6 boys in the house that evening,smoking and drinking while watching a movie. she was uneasy and expressed her feelings to Isa who calmed her and mocked her for being a sissy. He took her to his room and left to bring a drink. After 5 minutes, she heard a commotion in the living room and stood to investigate. At the door she was roughly shoved back into the room and the lights switched off. she tried to scream but someone stifled her cry and pushed her to the floor. She struggled but there were 3 of them. 2 held her down n pulled her trousers down. This was not how she imagined she'd lose her virginty. she was saving herself for the right man-for her wedding night.
it hurt but her mind went numb as the 3 of them raped her brutally. Isa was the first and when he was through, he called out to the other guys to have their turns. it seemed like hours but it was mere minutes. They left her in the pool of her own blood. she wept like a child but no sound came from the pain in her heart. Isa came in later and pushed her out of the apartment into the streets. why she asked? but he didnt reply but shut the door in her face. Her tears had dried but her pain was great. She looked around her, why hadn't anyone heard her screams and come to her rescue. She dragged her broken body and began the walk back to school. it was dark and the road lonely but she was beyond fears.What worse could happen, she wondered.
she continued to trudge along the road till she got a lift back to school. Reporting to the school authories was not even an option as she couldn't face the shame or probable ridicule by other students. what would her parents say?
Nadine was 18,an ordinary student with great hopes and aspirations. Never drank or smoke and certainly didnt move with the wrong crowd in school. she was simply a victim of a money-miss-road son's evil plot to be accepted into a student cult.
Why did Isa chose her for his malicious plan? He was supposed to be her friend. where was God when he was concocting his plans? why didn't he stop him or even prevent her from getting into his car.
Nadine is 30 years now and married with 2 kids. she still has occassional flashbacks and wonders why God allowed her to be raped? But she uses her pain to reach out to victims of rape, abuse and other vice.
Why does God allow pain and why do evil doers go unpunished? I don't have answers to these questions but I know and i'm rest assued that "the wicked will not go unpunished".I'm also confident that through the pain and heartache, God is present .He allows pain for a reason and someday it will make sense.paslm 23 says "though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil for though art with me;thy rod and thy staff they comfort me".


  1. Hey, its really a new dawn. I went thru all of ur blogs and believe me, they re all inspirational. I pray for God to continue to enrich and enlarge ur coast. this Ihis is just the beginning, the sky will be ur starting point, not d limit. Continue to be d loko mama and may u continue to Ginger ur Swagga

  2. this is so nice..tough situations dont last but tough people do. problems, pain and disasters are not strangers to man but its how u handle them that really counts. i read the whole of this and had tears in my eyes before i finished reading it all. funny thing is i can also identify with some of the situations. im so proud of u and ive learnt that through tough times i can always laugh it off.