Friday, 12 March 2010
I'll never understand so I probably should stop trying.I have racked my brains but it only gets complicated and the reason completely eludes me. what mind can comprehend the love God has for me? It is totally unfathomable. I am the most mind boggling person I have ever met.In fact I baffle myself. on the surface, I have this cool veneer but u don't want to mess with me cos I'm a dynamite waiting to explode . All u have to do is find the trigger lol. It is so difficult controlling myself but God has been my help. Hyper does not come close to describing me if my inner self is let out without a leash.
Everybody has got a past and I'm no different. sometimes I wonder why I went through the things i did and how I've survived. The good news is I'm still here and for a divine purpose.
Why Does God love me? I'm a danger waiting to happen just keep away the fireworks.
I have messed up so much in the past that i feared taking His grace for granted. Ironically, in my small way,I've tried to make up for my shortcomings by trying to earn His love by being good. But you can never be good enough for God nor earn His love. It is nigh impossible!!!God brought grace into our lives in the form of Jesus as humans beings can neither live nor excel through laws-we will always came short of being perfect.However in the perfect mirror of grace,we are made whole and right in Christ.Hallelujah.
Dearly beloved, over the years, I have learnt to trust God to make a way where there seems to be no way,to supply my needs in the days of lack, and calm turbulent situations that would have overwhelmed me otherwise. Sometimes, it might seem difficult to trust or hope when the bills are mounting and one is frail with fear. Yet we have the reassurance of God's words.Like little children, the bible encourages us to trust God with our dreams,desires and fears. Psalm 55:22 states "Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you;He shall never permit the righteous to be moved".Isn't that glorious? Our circumstances,pain,failures shouldn't drive us away from God rather drive us into His loving arms. Many people who have a distorted concept of fatherhood most times liken God to their earthly parents. But that is so wrong.I pray the lord heal every broken and abused heart in Jesus name.
Remember it does not matter where you are,who you are or what you have done, God loves you and can't wait to have u back home into His warm loving arms.
Monday, 8 March 2010
Oh lord, why did I eat that extra helping of mashed potato with the delicious Oha soup ladled with stock fish,cow leg,smoked turkey and diced beef? which kind wahala be dis? Now I'm stuffed to the brim.I can barely lift my butt off the sofa to wash my hands or even get a glass of water to drink.Even josh seems to know that I've crossed the line with my lethargic slouch and dazed look.hmmmmm! this must be how junkies feel after hitting the needle!
I've been trying to lose weight for ages but shifting the pounds has been more difficult than I thought.my love for food is not helping matters(i practically salivate at the thought of dinner even at breakfast.I weigh 94 kg,wear a UK size 18 and can barely make it up the short flight of stairs in my house. To make matters worse,I don't feel sexy(can't imagine myself stripping to my birthday suit in front of any man-no sir!!).Moreover who needs a mass of flesh as a partner.lol(God has healed my body issues. bless Him)
My journey to full figure started when I was pregnant(yeah, blame it on the innocent kid).I became addicted rather obsessed with pounded yam and egusi soup not to forget garri ijebu.I'd brave the Irish blistering cold to have my fill of this delicious delicacy at my favourite African restaurant in the city centre(Dublin).I was such a sight with my bulging tummy and this weird ecstatic look on my face as I gobbled morsel after morsel of poundy .surely someone should have notified the authorities about a pregnant lady gone lose over food(guess nobody cared-now I'm blaming it on strangers).
PLAHHHH!!!!Get over yourself.You are responsible for who you are and a product of the choices you make. I am semi obese today because of the wrong turns I've taken and persistently stuck to.Sadly,I am also diabetic and need to shed the excess fat or risk dying at an early age. The thought of dying young scares me because of my little lad which is the more reason for me to control my appetite and get serious with my diet.The fact was I lacked self control,over indulged in food and had no respect for my body.
1 Corinthians 6:19 says "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not Ur own". why do we then live life like we are not accountable for what we do with our time and our bodies. Man is primarily created to honour God with our lives."Our flesh wants immediate self-gratification at all costs and will stop at nothing to try and get it. Our spirits know that some of our fleshly desires are not right for us and as a result, there will be a tug of war between the two - and sometimes it will be a major tug of war. And the only thing that will be able to curb and control some of the desires of our flesh is the quality of self-control we possess".
Enough of the excuses.The mistakes have been and it is now time to take control.
It is not an easy road but it is one that is required of us all.I've realised that I can't do it by myself as I sincerely lack the will power or the strength to embark on such a arduous task but the holy spirit is available to help."We all need God's self-control operating in our lives and in our personalities if we are going to have any hope in getting cleaned up and properly sanctified to the degree that He would like to get us to in this life".
The blind man at the pool of Bethesda spent 38 fruitful years of his life making excuses and even continued when Jesus asked if he wanted to get healed.
I want to be healthy and fulfil destiny.I want to wear lovely clothes and feel attractive but wishing upon a star doesn't get results. A change of lifestyle and attitude is the key with the help of the holy spirit and a mighty dose of discipline.
The key is "No more excuses as all things are possible to him that believes.