Vengeance is the Lord's

Kate and Janet were arguing over nothing but it was nothing that suddenly turned into something nasty. Everything just spiralled out of control with both parties shouting obscenities and threatening fire and brimstones at each other. Eventually the two "tigresses" were separated but not without the final heated parting shots and snapping of fingers. No fight is complete in down town "Abule Ijesha" without the requisite snapping of fingers. Its a gesture which means "this is not over yet", "I'll get back at you".(wonder how anybody that grew in that environment turned out right..lol)

It's a wounded party telling the other "I'LL BE BACK".

The snapping of fingers after a fight implies a threat to hurt the person who has inflicted the hurt. Its a call for retribution or vengeance.
vengeance seems like a plausible response to a hurt. It suggests that when someone hurts you, you should give them their just dessert. In fact the concept of vengeance is so popular that it was running theme in most Asian movies back in the days. For instance, child witnesses the murder of his parents and grows to kill the murderers. The offended party is so wrapped up in seeking vengeance that nothing else matters! Vengeance becomes a consuming virus that drives the person until the goal is achieved.

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 We've all been hurt by others and hopefully not as much as depicted in the fictional movie Kill Bill (the movie is one of my all time favourite) but we all have a choice on how to respond to other people's abominable behaviours.

 David was no stranger to hurt. His life was constantly under threat so much he had a bounty placed on his head by Saul. However, when David got an opportunity to inflict hurt on his enemy he bowed out. Instead of killing his oppressor, he spared Saul's life. Read 1 Samuel 24. The natural inclination would have been to kill his enemy but David didn't. David's action is a precursor of what Jesus did on the cross of Calvary-extend forgiveness to God's enemies.
I am no stranger to hurts and betrayal but there is no room in my life for anger, bitterness, strife or retaliation (it has absolutely nothing to do with fact that I will be beaten to a pulp by the smallest opponent...I NO FIT FIGHT BIKO).

Life is too short to be consumed by negative emotions. Its a waste of energy. Your part in any toxic situation is to forgive and let God deal with the rest. Let God fight your battles. He is better equipped.
 

Don't blow it.

EDITORS NOTE: A lot of times we blow up opportunities and relationships either knowingly or unknowingly or even through carelessness and misadventure. We sometimes take golden moments for granted thinking we've always got tomorrow to make up or take that bold step. Unfortunately, some of the consequences of our action or inaction can later come to bite us

.  For instance an opportunity you should have said yes to but never did suddenly comes to mock you. Even simple things like giving up the chance to reconcile with a loved one until its too late( been there and it hurts like crazy but NO REGRETS!!). I believe the most painful is the opportunity to share Christ with others directly or indirectly through our words and actions. Whatever you do, don't lose the opportunity to love like today is all you've got. Be blessed with this wonderful articled culled from UCB devotional

Appreciate Today #Hotchocolateforcoldmornings

You don't have to lose someone before you realise they really matter. Choose to appreciate that special person today and never take them for granted. The grave is filled with people who never got a chance to say "I love you" or even dared to forgive but would rather hold on to a grudge. Take sometime now to appreciate that friend, colleague, neighbour, husband and Me..lol. remember, some people are simply irreplaceable even if they drive you bonkers!!.

Why I forgive

Forgiveness is such a difficult concept to understand. it is difficult because it is contrary to the world system of beliefs. The nature of man is "tit for tat", be hit and hit back" but that is not the nature of God. In fact I remember a song that was popular when I was young titled "Face me" by popular Nigerian musician Sunny Neji. Although the song had its entertainment value, the underlying message was revenge. There was also a slogan that says "push me I push you God no vex". However I beg to differ! God is indeed "vexed" when we repay bad with bad. Scriptures says we are in the world but not of the world so we are not bound or operate by the world system. As Christians, we are expected to live a life that reflects Christ which can be seen when we forgive others though they hurt us. Someone rightly said Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. It is futile and counter productive. The person that is most hurt by unforgiveness is the unforgiving person! it is torture to have hateful thoughts in your head. so why chose unforgiveness? I have heard the story of a lady that was bound in a wheelchair but there was no medical reason for her condition. During a deliverance session it was discovered that the cause of her problem unforgiveness. While she was confined to a wheel chair, the person that offended her was roaming "free". Abeg who come dey suffer? I forgive because I was forgiven. "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you".Colossians 3:13. I am constantly reminded that while I was yet a sinner Christ died for me so who am I to hold a grudge? 2. Forgiveness makes me free. I am not bound but free. why waste mental or psycological strength on what is not profitable because unforgivess is unprofitable in the long run. Forgiveness allows God work in me and heal my hurt. 3. It releases my offenders into God's hands. According to Joyce Meyer "in trying to get revenge or take care of the situation instead of trusting God, He is not obliged to deal with the person."Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord".Romans 12:19. God will deal with those that hurt us. 4. Unforgiveness hinders my prayers "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering" Matthew 5:23-24 5. Unforgiveness hinders fellowship with God 6. Unforgiveness is the root of bitterness. It gives the devil a foothold into a believers life. 7.life is too short to short to live in bitterness. 8. I forgive because its the right thing to do! No excuse, no justification!! its just the right thing to do. 9. Forgiveness is a virture."Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" Philippians 4:8. Forgiveness is not easy but it a choice and a command from God. It allows God to be God in a believers life. It takes focus off you, the other person and is God centred. Sometimes the first person to forgive is yourself-for allowing yourself to be hurt, used or deceived again. But forgive anyways! "UNFORGIVENESS IS SPIRITUAL FILTHINESS SO GET WASHED IN THE WATER OF GOD'S WORD TO FORGIVE AND STAY CLEAN", Joyce Meyer.

When Life Hurts

Have you heard the music by R.E.M titled "Everybody hurts? Its actually a melancholic yet inspiring song depicting the pain that everybody carries though some are more visible than others. The rich, poor, married, single, elderly, young, employed, unemployed, male, female, pastors, laymen,you name it-everybody really do hurt sometime. Truth is we live in a fallen world with imperfect people. Despite our better intentions even the most perfect of us would still unconsciously hurt another. But what if you are the object of that hurt? what if you are the object of another person's vile intention. The first thing you want to do is hurt them back-make them hurt same way you've hurt or worse. That might seem like a good idea but what good does that do in the long run. Hitting back "might" give temporary satisfaction but can never take away the pain or restore what has been lost. So what do you do when life hurts. ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT-Most people live in denial of pain and "gently sweep" the issue under the carpet and pretend it never happened. That my friend is a potent recipe for disaster. It is a festering wound whose rancid smell would eventually expose itself. Why else would a seemingly perfect couple suddenly turn on each other and open a can of hideous worms that seemingly appeared from nowhere! The can of worms didn't just appear, it had always been there just never acknowledged or dealt with. One or both had un-dealt with issues that suddenly spilled over with little or no provocation. Stop pretending and acknowledge the fact that you've been hurt. If its not all right, say its not al right!. DROP THE PRETENCE, YOU ARE BETTER OFF. CONFRONT THE ISSUE- I hate confrontation! I'd rather hide away and let the matter slide so peace would reign but I have learnt over the years that's it is a cowards way out. Confronting the issue does not imply aggression but a wise attempt at conflict resolution so an ugly situation would not repeat itself. it's a gently way of telling someone "hey buddy, what you said about my appearance hurt me". FORGIVE- Choose to forgive. It's is Our Father's desire that we "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" Ephesians 4:32. The ability to forgive is a measure of how Christlike we really are "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children" Ephesians 5:1 . The first time I heard about "ADVANCE FORGIVENESS" was from a dear friend. its simply choosing to forgive others way before they hurt you. it is also a biblical principle. "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins" Colossians 2:13. The bible is so rich on forgiveness. CONFIDE- In the words of legendary actor and comedian Frank Spencer(Michael Crawford)"a trouble shared, is a trouble doubled..lol not necessarily so. you are not created to live life alone. Instead of being overwhelmed with your issues, confide in someone that can help ease the burden. Not everyone needs to know your business but there is always someone that can help but DON'T DIE IN SILENCE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE-never for a moment think you are alone-someone,somewhere is going through or has gone through what you are dealing with. Don't be afraid to reach out. Don't let pride interfere. pride cannot save you only wisdom can. BE PREPARED- Scouts honour! Offences will always come. You will offend and people will offend but the bible says "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone".Romans 12:18. Never be too big to say Sorry or accepting another person's apology PRAY-There is no replacement for prayer. It is confiding and sharing your deepest hurts and desire with your heavenly father who never judges and would certainly never condemn you. It cost nothing and is more result oriented than any self help book out there. Finally, never let any situation or person determine your worth. No circumstance or human being is worth loosing your delightful smile for. According to popular parlance when life throws you a lemon, make a tall glass of lemonade out of it and remember to put some ice in it-makes it more refreshing .

What To Do When Your Rooster Crows by Sharon Jaynes

Have you ever been riddled with guilt? When it seems errors of the past just keep pushing themselves back in your face or maybe its people that won't let you forget your mistakes. A broken relationship and an unwanted pregnancy could be reminders of bad choices made in the heat of passion. A bounced cheque or an account in the red can also push the feeling of guilt to the fore. We've all been there and more so Peter, the most brash amongst Jesus' disciple. He denied Jesus not once but thrice and had a rooster remind him of his folly. When the mighty fall, they do fall with a big bang and the devil is always right behind them to constantly remind them of their errors. But Peter's story did not end with his error-no sire! The story gets interesting. I read this article by one of my favourite writers and I'm sure it'll inspire you too. P.S. I'm truly sorry for my long absence would make it up to you. Thanks for still visiting. You can follow Sharon on www.sharonjaynes.com. She is amazing. I sat on my back porch, wrapped in my fuzzy worn robe—the one that’s twenty years old that I just can’t seem to get rid of. The birch trees waved “good morning,” and the newly planted gerbera daisies stretched their faces to the sun…just a bit higher than the day before. Then I heard him. The rooster. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I’m not sure where he lives, but it’s within earshot. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I thought of Peter. I thought of me. I thought of you. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know the story. At the dinner table, on the night before Jesus went to the cross, he said to Peter: “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death with you.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” (Luke 22:31) A few hours later, Peter did just that. Denied that he even knew Jesus. Three times. And then the rooster crowed. ER-er-ER-er ERRRR. “And he went outside and wept bitterly.” He cried and cried and cried. (I’ve messed up big time and cried and cried and cried before. Have you?) The next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next, and the next, and the next. With every squawk of the bird. A fresh reminder. First thing in the morning. Have you ever been there? I have. I have failed. And I have remembered…the rooster crowed. And even though I had asked for forgiveness, and I knew that God HAD forgiven me, the rooster crowed in my heart, and I remembered my failure anew. What did Jesus have to say about Peter’s failure? Three strikes, you’re out? Not hardly. After his resurrection, Jesus pulled Peter aside… “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” Jesus removed the shroud of shame hanging from Peter’s guilt weary shoulders, and called him to get back to the ministry to which he was called. God’s forgiveness is always complete, total, and comprehensive. “If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]“ (1 John 1:9 AMP). However, the accuser continues to crow—reminding us our past sins and failures. He tries to drown out the song of grace with the caw of shame. He crows. We remember. Perhaps even weep with Peter behind the wall. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know what I’ve decided? Rooster makes a fine meal. Let’s ring the rooster’s neck and cook him up once and for all. Don’t let the enemy accuse you of what God has already forgiven you of? Don’t let him fool you into thinking that the cross wasn’t enough. “Daughter, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord, you know that I do.” I wonder what went through Peter’s mind the next time he heard the rooster crow. I think he smiled and thought of God’s amazing grace. That’s what I’m going to do tomorrow when I hear that rooster crow. What about you? The next time the devil reminds you of all the times you’ve failed, will you stand with me and answer the caw of shame with the song of grace? If so, leave a comment that says, “Thank God, I’m forgiven and free!”

Accidental Single Mum

So I heard this girl on the bus ranting about how Nigerian girls have imbibed so much of Western culture that single motherhood is now an accepted way of life. She was obviously from Nigeria as I could recognise that heavy Edo accent anywhere. I didn't mind her venting her opinion but her voice was so loud that other people in the bus were turning to see who this "public speaker" was. Her partner became embarrassed as I noticed the gentle nudge he gave her to lower her voice. But there was no getting her to lower her voice or even shush. I wonder who or what had her riled up! From her one sided conversation I guessed she wasn't a mother or a single mother at that-good for her!. More so everyone is entitled to their opinion including my opinionated unknown and unappreciated co passenger.

The issue of single parenthood is still very much controversial in developing countries including Nigeria. A woman with a child and no obvious wedding ring on her finger still gets the occasional odd stare from strangers, family members inclusive. I remember back in the Eighties, a girl who comes home to tell her parent she's been knocked up gets the beating of her life. Some were forced into marriages they were not ready for or even made to terminate the "unwanted pregnancy". However, these scenarios are not unlike what was obtainable in developed countries such as Britain and parts of Europe as well. Some of these "unfortunate women were put away for their "own good" and the babies given away most times never to be seen again. "Everyone" comes out smiling and the family image salvaged. For most of these "unfortunate" girls, the men are nowhere to be found. Most bail out on the pregnant girls leaving them to fend for the fruit of their love "alone". As far as I know, most women don't want to be single parents at least speaking from the perspective of an unmarried mother. Being a single mother is hard work. "Five of you will chase a hundred, a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you. Leviticus 26:8.. The bible celebrates team work and its benefits. It is easier for two to arrive at success and its less tedious compared to one person doing all the work. We all want the trappings of marriage at least I did and still do. Even most married couples who eventually break up never envisaged single parenting at the start of the relationship. Sometimes in life we find ourselves in circumstances we never expected so we learn to make lemonade from lemons. The lady that washed the feet of Jesus may have been an accidental prostitute but Jesus was not concerned with how she found herself in that condition, he was more pleased that she was right at his feet seeking a better path. The Pharisee in whose house the events took place on the other hand was unforgiving and self-righteous. I love Jesus's response to the Pharisee’s attitude. "Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little " Many of us are like that - self-righteous and unforgiving also quick to judge. In being so right like the Pharisee, we have become SO WRONG. So my dear young lady, be slow to judge since you may not be privy to the whole story that may have led an enterprising young lady into becoming a single mother. I believe any woman that chooses to give life to an unwanted pregnancy should be encouraged not vilified. This is not in any way supporting pre-marital sex but two wrongs never make a right. I'm pro-life anytime. Learn to love, empathise don't judge....IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU.

photo curtesy www.lavistachurchofchrist.org www.topnews.in

Reaching beyond The pain

Have you ever been hurt or betrayed? It hurts doesn't it? well, I have been hurt so many times that I have lost count. Infact,I have stopped counting. My ability to hurt and feel pain only reflects my humanity.But I dont love being hurt or be the one that inflicts pain on others. I have a track record of avoiding confrontations or any situation that will bring a fellow human to despair or tears. So it hurts when others are inconsiderate and selfish maybe even self centered.
I hate to fight but that doesn't make me a sissy. I prefer calm, rational discussions but it seems if you dont fight people just walk over and trample on your feelings.
The hypocrisy of it all is when we profess we are christians. we talk the talk but dont walk the walk. Holding or keeping grudges has become a regular past-time maybe even a lifestyle. There is no longer any clear cut difference between belivers and unbelievers. we share the same pursuits, ideals and probably methods of winning. Woe betides whosoever unfortunately stands in our ways. Isn't that sad?
I hate to see people cry. A close pal of mine called me two nights ago and was crying.She had been betrayed by a close relative. Her tears broke my heart cos I could feel the pain in her voice. I felt like giving her a hug, take the pain way but she was thousands of miles away. I was not physically beside her but I helped solve the problem and that made me feel good.
I love helping people. I love making others feel good but there is hardly anyone to reach when I need a hug or just someone to talk with. It used to hurt when people are unappreciative of a kind gesture but it does not matter anymore.Despite this shortcoming in human nature, I still chose to be who I am-Mrs Clause. I am proud to be a daughter of Zion designed to show love and shower love.
I am not perfect but I am striving to be who God has called me out to be. I have learnt to reach beyond the valley of pain and forgive betrayals, hurts and disappointments. There is no comfort in pain or reward in vengance so why hold on to grief,depression or any negative emotion? Its a dark hole that offers no true peace.
In everything "Let go and Let God"
Its time to embrace peace and move on from the valley of despair though I learnt that lesson the hard way. If you are bitter and angry,check out your opponent he/she is probably having a ball( i bet it hurts real bad).Leave the business of revenge to God and reach beyond the pain. It will eventually feel good and that my friend is a promise!!!!