Friday, 23 May 2014
When Life Hurts
Have you heard the music by R.E.M titled "Everybody hurts? Its actually a melancholic yet inspiring song depicting the pain that everybody carries though some are more visible than others. The rich, poor, married, single, elderly, young, employed, unemployed, male, female, pastors, laymen,you name it-everybody really do hurt sometime. Truth is we live in a fallen world with imperfect people. Despite our better intentions even the most perfect of us would still unconsciously hurt another. But what if you are the object of that hurt? what if you are the object of another person's vile intention. The first thing you want to do is hurt them back-make them hurt same way you've hurt or worse. That might seem like a good idea but what good does that do in the long run. Hitting back "might" give temporary satisfaction but can never take away the pain or restore what has been lost. So what do you do when life hurts. ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT-Most people live in denial of pain and "gently sweep" the issue under the carpet and pretend it never happened. That my friend is a potent recipe for disaster. It is a festering wound whose rancid smell would eventually expose itself. Why else would a seemingly perfect couple suddenly turn on each other and open a can of hideous worms that seemingly appeared from nowhere! The can of worms didn't just appear, it had always been there just never acknowledged or dealt with. One or both had un-dealt with issues that suddenly spilled over with little or no provocation. Stop pretending and acknowledge the fact that you've been hurt. If its not all right, say its not al right!. DROP THE PRETENCE, YOU ARE BETTER OFF. CONFRONT THE ISSUE- I hate confrontation! I'd rather hide away and let the matter slide so peace would reign but I have learnt over the years that's it is a cowards way out. Confronting the issue does not imply aggression but a wise attempt at conflict resolution so an ugly situation would not repeat itself. it's a gently way of telling someone "hey buddy, what you said about my appearance hurt me". FORGIVE- Choose to forgive. It's is Our Father's desire that we "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" Ephesians 4:32. The ability to forgive is a measure of how Christlike we really are "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children" Ephesians 5:1 . The first time I heard about "ADVANCE FORGIVENESS" was from a dear friend. its simply choosing to forgive others way before they hurt you. it is also a biblical principle. "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins" Colossians 2:13. The bible is so rich on forgiveness. CONFIDE- In the words of legendary actor and comedian Frank Spencer(Michael Crawford)"a trouble shared, is a trouble doubled..lol not necessarily so. you are not created to live life alone. Instead of being overwhelmed with your issues, confide in someone that can help ease the burden. Not everyone needs to know your business but there is always someone that can help but DON'T DIE IN SILENCE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE-never for a moment think you are alone-someone,somewhere is going through or has gone through what you are dealing with. Don't be afraid to reach out. Don't let pride interfere. pride cannot save you only wisdom can. BE PREPARED- Scouts honour! Offences will always come. You will offend and people will offend but the bible says "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone".Romans 12:18. Never be too big to say Sorry or accepting another person's apology PRAY-There is no replacement for prayer. It is confiding and sharing your deepest hurts and desire with your heavenly father who never judges and would certainly never condemn you. It cost nothing and is more result oriented than any self help book out there. Finally, never let any situation or person determine your worth. No circumstance or human being is worth loosing your delightful smile for. According to popular parlance when life throws you a lemon, make a tall glass of lemonade out of it and remember to put some ice in it-makes it more refreshing .