Between Fear and Pride

Yesterday, I shared my fears about resuming blogging after several weeks of absence.  I realised that by giving wings to my ideas in this case putting fingers to keyboard, the words started flowing and it became easier to write. I wondered why I was fearful in the first place?

While contemplating what to write about today, I decided to expaciate more on some of the factors that cause fear in people especially at the brink of starting  something aside from the ones listed in yesterday's post.
PRIDE: In this case implies having an unhealthy consideration of one's worth or ability. This sometimes prevents people from taking up certain roles for fear of failing and being pecieved as inept or lesser than their self pre-conceived perception. This negative  self consciousness is driven by pride which in turn prevents people from launching out . Reminds me of an episode of " The Big Bang Theory" when Sheldon refused to take driving lessons because he was afraid to fail...AGAIN!!! Instead of admitting his fears, Sheldon hid behind a facade of "transcending regular human activity such as driving" .

Of course this drove his friends who only wanted to help him off their rockers. His pride prevented him from doing! When pride comes between you and a feat nothing gets done. A friend of mine had to return to a job he left  ages ago after all else failed. Mind you, it was not an easy decision but he had to put food on the table for his growing famity and pride alone will not do that!.

 It takes humility to start from the scratch not minding what people will say. It's non of their business in the first place. Stop worrying about what people will say and start DOING. You owe yourself the right to succeed and you can only do that by being humble. Remember there is dignity in labour!
Proverbs 16:18-19 "pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall"

FEARless

Before you say anything, I admit my guilt! I have been away for too long! Truth is, I am more of a talk person but I really do love writing despite being a lazy writer(told you i'm aware of my crimes 😊).  I've been contemplating updating the blog for a while but at the last minute get wracked with nerves because I'd been away for too long! I worried if i'd lost my edge and instead of putting that theory to the test i'd slinker out of my office and differ writing for another time until Today. I determined to allay my fears and concerns and write something because the blog won't update itself abi!

 I had no clear cut idea where to start or what to write though my head is reeling with story ideas but I decided to type away and watch the stories take shape. Sound familiar? Well this kind of feeling will resonate with people who'd lost businesses, experienced divorce or failure and are on the brink of starting afresh.  You worry about failing again! But who or what told you that failure is in your future? A wise person once said it's better to have tried and failed than never trying at all, afterall nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't let fear hold you back. 2 Timothy 1:17 " but God did not give us a spirit of timidity,but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind".

 Rick Warren highlighted the three  kinds of fear that limits people from reachingtheir maximum potential.
SELF DOUBT: This keeps people locked in a self prison unable to develop their potential.  It is the fear of failure itself.
SELF CONSCIOUSNESS : Worrying about what people will say. In the larger picture, it's what God thinks that matters because trying to please people is an arrant waste of efforts.
SELF PITY: instead of wallowing in self pity, get out of the rut and learn from it. Afterall every failure is a potential mine of learning opportunities.  Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless. Instead of worrying about how to jumpstart that fluctuating relationship, starting that buisness giving up smoking, start with what you have-right where you are! Don't let past mistakes deter you from your future. Remember the righteous will be bold as lions.
So now let's back on our horses, no use frolicking in the mud with pigs. There is work to be done, lives to be impacted  and life changing testimonies to share.
I AM BACK.😎

Nothing To Fear Afterall

I dreaded going to the hospital primarily because the doctors will always have something to say about my blood sugar levels. The readings were defying regular intervention despite regular  exercises and my genuine attempt to eat well. This particular day was no different. I was nervous as I approached the nurses station. My palms were sweaty and I wondered why I'd not fainted yet as my heart beat was beating erratically.

Picture credit-freedigitalphotos.net.

 I'd been battling high sugar levels since my teenage years. Although I was not officially diagnosed with diabetes back then, my sugar level tend to creep up when I worried or was sick but nobody took it seriously. Gestational diabetes changed the diagnoses and its been a challenge since.Now you know why I panic at the sight of a medical appointment. However,I decided to do things differently following years of "diabetic intimidation. I got tired of letting diabetes control my happiness or the sight of a medical appointment sending jitters down my spine.

Photo credit freedigitalphotos.net

 With a smile and a little prayer, I went in to see the doctor. Waiting for any result is never easy but eventually the results came and the readings were normal. My best results in years. I'd not checked my sugar levels in months so had not noticed when the changes took place but it had. I'd been worrying over an issue that was no longer threatening. Fear stopped me from checking my sugars and same fear robbed me off joy every time I ate an extra apple or ate my favourite meal.

Freedigitalphotos.net

Fear is described with the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real. Its an evidence that is false despite its appearance. My new favourite pastor Jentezen Franklyn helped me understand this concept of fear better. He explained that when Jacob was presented with the blood soaked coat belonging to his son Joseph,he believed the evidence before him and wept many days. "And he recognised it and said "it is my son's tunic. A wild beast has devoured him. Without doubt Joseph is torn to pieces".
Jacob was deceived by what he saw but his son was alive as he would find out years later.  He spent days bound in mourning based on a false evidence appearing real.

freedigitalphotos.net

I also found interesting the Israelites encounter with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. This gigantic bulk of a man would come out every morning to bully the Israelites. "for forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his place" Vrs 16.
Notice he did nothing but intimidate the Israelites for forty good days without actually making good on his threats. For forty days the Israelites cowered before this bully who was all air. At the end of it all, it took a single sling shot from a simple shepherd boy to knock him down. BAM!!
If we look closely at the things that bother us through the lens of scriptures we find that there is really nothing to fear afterall. God has taken care of everything.

photo credit MSN lifestyle.

I no longer fear checking my sugar levels because now I know diabetes aint the boss of me. I do my part eating well and exercising and trust the word of God for the rest.
Don't let fear rid you of the opportunity to enjoy life. Fear is crippling. Don't be a victim. Like David bring out your sling shot which stands for the word of God and bring that Giant toppling down.

freedigitalphotos.net

Free From Fear

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EDITOR'S NOTE: Fear is not a healthy emotion. It is a crippling state of mind that does not allow a person to thrive. Fear denies the sovereignty of God.  For a person living in fear, life is more of an ardours existence instead of a purpose driven living. Fear defeats the purpose of creation. On the other hand, it takes courage and faith to truly live. To overcome fear, one must have a full understanding of who calls the shot in our lives; who is in charge! It involves having a godly perspective in any knotty situation.   Fearless living is not a denial of a challenge but acknowledging God as Sovereign in our lives. A fearless life takes into cognisance what is real and what is not.  It is the godly perspective that matter no matter what. "the lord is the light of my salvation -whom shall I fear" psalm 24:1. Every time you give room for fear in your life, you lose control. God's desire is that we should have dominion over everything including our emotions more so crippling ones like fear. I know what it is to live in fear but every time I turn the object of my fear to God, I realise there was nothing to fear in the first place and therein I have peace. Moreover, faith gets heaven’s attention and I do love attention. Enjoy this brilliant article by Greg Laurie of harvest Ministries.

Humpty's GREAT FALL

I couldn't help pondering over the poem Humpty Dumpty this morning. You know the classic poem "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the Kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again". How sad!! When I was taught this simple rhyme in primary school, there was no morale to be learnt. It was just a poem to be recited and enjoyed by little children nothing else. Today, the poem strikes a different and deeper cord in my heart. What was Humpty doing on the wall in the first place? How did he climb the wall? and to what purpose? Surely, he must have considered in that big head of his the dangers of climbing much more sitting on a wall!! Could it be that there was something in the horizon that he wanted to see and the wall could give him added advantage to see better? Unfortunately,something must have caught his attention or distracted him causing him to slip and fall. Maybe he even suddenly realised that "wow, I'm on a wall! what was I thinking? Hmmm! We may not know the answers to these questions but we do know he climbed the wall and fell much to his dismay and embarrassment. Someone must have been watching for the rescue team to come and try to gather the pieces together-someone must have called the kings emergency number. Did they warn him prior to his adventure or were they just casual by-standers waiting and watching to see the outcome of Humpty's folly. Humpty must be connected to the king to get royal attendants and attention. Have you ever found yourself in Humpty's position? you've climbed high to achieve a goal, taken a risk to better yourself in business, relationship only to come crashing down flat on your face? Well, I have and so has Peter. He saw Jesus walking on water and asked if he could join the "water-walking-elite", "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Matthew 14:22-33. Peter was doing well until he got distracted. He noticed the boisterous wind, panicked and started to sink. I'm sure he felt humiliated because the other disciples saw him falter after his brave starting point. Sometimes it is not the fall that hurts but the humiliation of falling. You wonder at the number of people that observe and maybe laughed at your mistakes. I felt like that too after getting pregnant. I WAS ASHAMED!! but still chose to have my baby no matter the consequence. I have got 2 points to share with you that will encourage your faith. 1. Those people that saw you fall most likely wish they were bold enough to attempt what you did. You may have fallen but posterity can never accuse you of never trying.2. When Peter cried out, Jesus reached out and RESCUED HIM. He ended up still walking on water this time with Jesus-THE KING holding his hands allaying his fears. Peter walked on water while the other disciples cowered in the comfort of the boat. Peter had an adventure while others were mere spectators. If you've been dealing with shame following a misadventure-DON'T BE. Its time to call out for help and its just A PRAYER AWAY. By the way, why didn't the kings horses and kings men call the King to fix Humpty when they couldn't? POOR HUMPTY.

INTERSECTIONS

Decisions! Decisions!! Decisions!!! It’s never easy making decisions is it? If you are like me with a closet full of shoes with varied heel lengths, style and colours, making a decision on which of my prized collection will see the light of day becomes a make or break affair. Truth is, some shoes make the cut based on comfort, events, colour etc. but I have two or more favourites that I'd like to wear every day and everywhere if possible. However before reaching out to select the purrrrrfect shoes, I consider some of the afore mentioned criteria including checking if it matches my outfit, will I be walking or driving, high or low heels? With a myriad of options, it is important that I carefully make my decision. After all what is worth doing at all is worth doing well! Women and wahala! When did something as inane as what shoe to wear become a PHD project...lolol. We make decisions every day and every decision has its consequence-Good or bad. It’s like trying to cross at an intersection. It looks easy but also potentially dangerous. A cardinal rule of crossing at an intersection is to STOP; consider traffic on the road before making a move. It is also important to consider your destination before crossing. You don't get to an intersection and jump into the road. That would be silly and dangerous. Life is a journey and at one point we would get to an intersection and would have to make a decision to either cross or remain at one point. The Israelites found themselves at a crossroad during their sojourn into the wilderness. They'd left the familiar toils of Egypt but were now being pursued by their former captors. They needed to move on but their past was not ready to let them go. The future was not familiar and the familiar past was pain filled. Ahead stood the formidable red sea and behind a vengeful army. They panicked and cried! It is only human nature to panic in the wake of challenges isn't? In the wake of the unfamiliar they panicked! They never imagined with their little minds that there could be a way through the WATERS. They preferred to go back to a life of slavery instead of the bold choice of a life of freedom. Thank God they were not alone at this crucial point in their journey. The lord was with them. He parted the red sea before them clearing the road into their future. He also destroyed the Egyptian army thereby sealing the door to their past. The choice of who to marry is a major intersection in life. You are valuable and marriage is a LIFE LONG COMMITMENT, so don’t just make that leap without looking. Sheri Rose Shepherd shared the following advice on her blog. 1. Look at the fruits of what follows that person and ask yourself where they will be leading you. Keep in mind NOT all open doors are from God. 2. Take a hard look at your future and ask yourself if they would help you find your purpose or distract from what God has for you. 3. Ask yourself “would I be growing in Christ by walking out life with this person or project? Before you walk away from where you are for a new venture PRAY HARD. When the beginning excitement phase is over is this something or someone you would want to stay connected to when challenges arise? Ready to make that decision now? Look well before you take that leap!

Queen of the road

For many reasons, I dreaded driving on any motorway.The road seems long and endless. Moreso, all those cars dashing past at 120 kilometres per hour scared me especially the noise and the rushing wind that made my tiny car rattle. Some times, I thought my good old banger would be blown off course but it was all in my imagination....that didn’t stop my knees from trembling anyway. I wished I could increase my snail pace driving but I was just too scared to try. I'd read the book on road traffic rules but just could not see myself putting my foot on the pedal and increasing my speed. How sad! I had the car and read the manual but application of knowledge was difficult. Part of my fears included the different traffic laws that applied in driving on Irish roads. It was a huge departure from my Nigerian experience. Back in Nigeria- at least when I lived there- anyone could drive on the roads as laws were not enforced. (What laws? there were no rules!) I drove a car for a year without knowing how to reverse! I never envisaged any danger to myself or any other road user at that...lol (I MISS MY COUNTRY!!!) Driving on the Motorway is not for the faint hearted. There are even signs warning inexperienced drivers to stay off. It was a road traversed by the brave and I was not that yet. I envied my friends who at the slightest inclinations would pick up their keys and zoom off in their cars motor way or not. I had to always pray myself up, days before embarking on any long journey. Seriously, I'd rather drive on the smaller convenient local roads with convenient speed limits than brave the express routes. In as much as I could, I avoided the motorways but to my dismay realised there are some places that you just have to use the motor way to access. Motorways allowed quicker access to distant places and most have tolls applied! Most times I'd use the public transports just in a bid to avoid driving these routes but it wasn't always convenient especially with a kid in tow. *sigh* But things are different now, HALLELUJAH!! After a while I've become queen of the road. I learnt that drivers that ply the motorway did not do so overnight....time and constant use built their confidence just like FAITH. It was not an overnight experience or wishful thinking. It took determination not to be limited to smaller driving experiences. "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil". Hebrews 5:12-15 Faith is simply confidence in the word of God. Believe you are what the word says. Have what the word says you have and can do what the word says you can. Ironically many are still living in fear? Like my driving experience, you've got the car, learnt the traffic rules but are afraid to put your foot to the pedal? Maybe it’s the speed limit that's scary or the rushing wind caused by other cars dashing past? Don't be! Remember, there are some places that only the Motorway can get you to. Most times it’s the only option else you'll be stuck in your tiny world. These confidence only comes with constant immersion and trust in the word of God. “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.” Mathew 21:21 Don't let fear hold you captive and deter you from enjoying and arriving at your future in style. Sometimes arriving on a bus is not as glam compared with driving your own car. In a public bus you don't call the shots. Develop your own faith! You can only go so far riding on another person's experience. I no longer dread the Motorway; in fact I enjoy driving on any motorway. It's not so long and endless as it initially seemed. However to do that, I had to let go of fear and develop more confidence on what I've learnt from the road user’s manual and my experience from driving on smaller roads. infact, i speak confidence to myself! YOU CAN DO IT TO. P.S I still don't like paying tolls! But tolls are used to maintain the highways like faith tests are necessary to grow you. SO ENJOY

Time to be brave.

I read an interesting post on UCB devotionals and it really inspired me. It’s about living fearlessly. The concept of struggles is not a strange phenomenon to the human existence. Since sin entered man, there has been the constant struggle between good and evil but with Jesus came victory. Sometimes man in his frailties can be overwhelmed by struggles and fears constantly. Have you ever watched a movie that shows a drowning man being rescued? In his fear, the drowning man struggles and flaps his arms but most of his self-efforts mostly drain him of energy. However, as any life saver knows, you cannot save a drowning man unless he stops struggling. It takes bravery to be calm in crisis. It takes bravery to lean on the arm of an unseen saviour and trusting He is able to rescue by FAITH. Fears cripples and rubs a person off the ability to live a full life. It has the possibility to kill before an unlikely or envisaged negative circumstance does. The Irish government has made plans to reduce the number of police men and close stations to curb public sector spending’s. This announcement has left people fearful about security of lives and properties on the back of a waning economic situation. The day I heard the news, I simply prayed and handed my worries to God. Of course fear almost crept into my heart but I refused it access into my heart and home. In past years, I would have had a panic attack and crumbled under the negative news but I realised it was time to be brave and not fearful. My new mind-set did not happen over by night, it was a gradual process and a conscious choice to be brave in times of adversity. In the words of Playwright David Mamet, We all die in the end, but there’s no reason to die in the middle. Sometimes a medical diagnosis has the potential to kill than an actual illness. I did an HIV/AIDS test in 2004 and before the result came I contemplated jumping from the first floor of the hospital laboratory if the report was negative. I almost had a heart attack when the doctor came with an ominous look on his face only to tell me I needed to come back for the results which turned out to be negative. Phew!! I have learnt to exchange every lie with the truth of God’s words and in that I have peace. So can you. It is time to grab the bull by the horn and live the abundant life that is in Christ Jesus. It is time to be brave and that includes the mountain of dirty dishes in my kitchen sink!! "For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment" 2 Timothy 1:7

A MOTHER'S DILEMMA

"Dinaaah", Leah called out. "Where is that lazy little missy? she asked the servant sweeping the courtyard. "She's gone visiting the women of the land", the servant girl answered. "This girl will not bring the death of me", Leah said and went back into the house. It was a bright, sunny day and the heat was in its element. Leah had all sorts of plans laid out for the day. The boys’ clothes needed mending and there was lunch to prepare. It’s not easy running a house full of boys; she could barely catch up with their huge appetite not with their constantly changing and diverse needs. Pheew! She muttered as she wondered what she could drum up for them that would not start a quarrel! She really was not in the mood and the heat was not helping matters. Suddenly, Leah heard a commotion outside. Out of curiosity, she looked out of the window and almost fainted. She drew her robe around her and ran outside. It was Dinah being carried in by the servants. Her worst fears were confirmed! Her daughter was dead! With her heart in her mouth she moved closer to the servants who were clustered round the still figure of her daughter. The servants cleared a path for her as she drew closer. "What happened to my baby", she wailed. At the sound of her mother's voice, the still figure on the ground moved and opened her arms for the comfort that only a mother could provide. With tears in her eyes, Leah hugged her baby as the young girl cried like her heart was broken. Indeed her heart was broken. She'd been violated! Raped! Leah pulled Dinah into her arms praying the pain away, wanting her daughter's pain to be HER PAIN. She wanted to be the one who's was violated. She could bear the pain but Dinah was her little girl too young for life's pain or any pain. Without a word, she led the broken girl into the house and gently stripped off the blood stained clothes from her body. The water cleaned her body but it could not wash the damage that had been done to her little girl. Leah gently led Dinah into her room, wrapped her in a blanket and tried to warm a young heart that had gone cold. "Lord, where did I go wrong? leah wondered. She'd suffered all her life. Ridiculed for her "weak eyes" while growing up and unloved by her husband...not to mention having to share the said man with her sister. She'd done her best to protect her kids now this! What would people say? "God why? “Mummy I'm sorry", Dinah whispered and started to cry again. "It’s ok, my darling", Leah reassured her. But she had her fears. "Hush little baby, don’t you cry," she sang. "mamma's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if the mocking bird wont sing, mamma's gonna buy you a diamond ring". She continued singing until she heard the quiet but husky breathing of her little girl gone to sleep. This "assumed scenario" in Genesis 34 played out in my mind as I watched Joshua play with the toys in the Doctor's surgery. I'd noticed something was wrong when he was less than a year and I'd shared my concerns to my GP who referred us to the children's hospital. This visit was a confirmation of my fears-A MOTHER'S NIGHTMARE. Every parent desires the best for their children and worry when something goes wrong or a child does not grow as expected. The initial feeling is SELF BLAME and the questions start to roll. Where did I go wrong? What have I done to deserve this? Could it be something in my Past? Then ANGER, BITTERNESS,DISAPPOINTMENT, REGRETS,SHAME SELF PITY AND RECRIMATIONS, DEPRESSION etc. Can you understand the pain of being ashammed of your own child and disappointed? I felt all that and more. In all I have learnt it was not my fault neither are the challenges you face your fault. Sometimes this thing happen that we might NEED GOD AND LEAN ON HIM. Even if it was your fault, all the more reason to NEED HIM like I do now more than ever. It’s been a challenge with Joshua but it’s a good challenge (I wouldn't exchange the experience for the world). I sometimes worry when I'm not with him and hope other kids don’t take advantage of Him. These concerns are normal but since I'm not OMNIPRESENT or OMNISCIENT, I gladly hand over the situation to one who IS-PROBLEM SOLVED. Leah could not control the actions of her sons when they heard about what happened to their sister but she could ease the pain of her baby girl. I have learnt in the process that the best thing I can do for my baby is to leave him In God's hands and not worry my head off. Worry never changes the situation but GOD CAN. He is FAITHFUL TO HIS WORDS. I daily bless Joshua with the word and declare God's promises upon His life. I lay claim to Healing scriptures because it’s MEDICINE TO OUR FLESH “For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh”. Proverbs 4:22 I have also let go of the VICTIM'S MENTALITY AND EMBRACED THE VICTOR'S ATTITUDE because I know “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Rom 8:28.

Nothing to fear after all

"I hope he likes this food oh", I muttered under my breath. "I'm seriously not in the mood for little boy tantrums. “OH God let Josh eat his lunch without any drama", I prayed while dishing his lunch of boiled potatoes and chicken curry sauce into a bowl. From the corner of my eyes, I watched as he hopped to the dining table and without much ado started eating his food with a smile and even a twinkle in eye. With baby fingers, he picked up the vegetables in the food and started humming a nursery rhyme oblivious to the stunned look on my face! You might be wondering what the fuss is all about in serving lunch to a 6 year old boy! Well, the thing is Josh does not eat potatoes no matter what it is smothered in for lunch! My son prefers pounded yam (a delicacy favoured by Nigerians and some Africans). He loves it so much that it has to be ready and waiting for him when he gets home from school. He doesn't mind having it three times a day if given. Wonder where he got that from? Hmmmmm! Ok! I confess! It’s me! *sighs* I love food. Nothing gets between me and my food (and it shows....please pray for me). While pregnant with josh, I was heavily diabetic and practically spent a better part of the nine months in the hospital. Despite my condition, I would sneak out of the hospital to eat pounded yam and egusi soup at an African restaurant (talk of being irresponsible! I knew the food was bad for me because of its high starchy contents but I couldn't resist its allure...sob! who wouldn't be?...sob).

Aside from genetically transferring the love for poundy to my son (it is possible....lol), a friend of mine gave Josh his first taste of the food when he was just eight months old. Since then my friends, there has been no looking back! Lol. Now you understand my fear when I served him potatoes and not his favourite food! After watching him gobble his food with relish, I realised there was no reason to fear after all. I'd been stressing myself for nothing. Phew! Have you been there before? I have and many times over. You panic over something only to discover there was nothing to fear in the first place. Worry takes away peace and rubs one the joy of enjoying the moment. We don't have to worry or live in fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Fear is the opposite of faith and Heb 11:6 says "and without Faith it impossible please God". Fear negates the power and supremacy of God concerning a given situation. Having no fear doesn't infer the license to be irresponble or throwing caution to the wind but simple obedience and trust in God-In His ability to take care of YOU. With Joshua, I allowed my fear of his tantrums control me instead of the other way round. I realised that I was not helping him by allowing him have his way all the time. I understand and appreciate his love for pounded yam but it’s my duty as his mother to weave other meals into his diet. Next stop.......Sandwich! And so help me God.