Today's hot chocolate for cold morning will be dealing with anxiety. I was a worrier like Martha in Luke 10:38-42, easily distracted and desiring everything to be picture perfect. Unfortunately,things don't normally turn out as envisaged-relationships get broken, people get hurt, betrayed and food get burnt...lol. Worrying never changes anything rather makes things worse. In trying to get things done, people get stepped on and saddest of all you miss out on the greatest opportunity in life. In the case of Martha, she was busy trying to create the perfect atmosphere for Jesus so much that she almost missed out on the greatest moment which was "to be and learn" at the feet of Jesus unlike her sister Mary"Martha, Martha", the Lord answered, " are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her".Anxiety stressfully puts at the fore what should be at the latter. It is trying to control everything within and outside your sphere of influence. Anxiety occurs when man tries to pay God. Ever seen a rocking chair? Well worry is like sitting on a rocking chair and having some semblance of motion but not really going anywhere! Sadly,when you act out in anxiety or worry you ultimately make wrong decisions. Great decisions are never made in anxious moments (Go watch Men in Black III-Will Smith's partner refused to make a life altering decision till he had eaten a calming bowl of pie and it worked ...lol). Some years ago I found myself practically tied up in knots over some issues I had no obvious control over. My seeming helplessness made me very unhappy and frustrated. That night, I called up a dear friend and she gave me this advice that I'm going to share with you. Her advice was that I take life "ONE DAY AT A TIME" . You see anxiety is worrying about the challenges of tomorrow and the bible rightly says "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:24. its like worrying about dinner when you've not eaten breakfast. That sounds foolish put like that doesn't it? but we find ourselves acting foolishly most times despite our best intentions. What do you do when anxious thoughts come knocking? Scripture says "cast your cares upon the lord and He'll give you rest. What a great pleasure for the soul when it knows someone else is handling its problem. Moreover, worrying causes premature wrinkles and is the major cause of heart related problems. kindly give those anxious thought s a rest-LET GO AND LET GOD
"Dinaaah", Leah called out. "Where is that lazy little missy? she asked the servant sweeping the courtyard. "She's gone visiting the women of the land", the servant girl answered. "This girl will not bring the death of me", Leah said and went back into the house. It was a bright, sunny day and the heat was in its element. Leah had all sorts of plans laid out for the day. The boys’ clothes needed mending and there was lunch to prepare. It’s not easy running a house full of boys; she could barely catch up with their huge appetite not with their constantly changing and diverse needs. Pheew! She muttered as she wondered what she could drum up for them that would not start a quarrel! She really was not in the mood and the heat was not helping matters. Suddenly, Leah heard a commotion outside. Out of curiosity, she looked out of the window and almost fainted. She drew her robe around her and ran outside. It was Dinah being carried in by the servants. Her worst fears were confirmed! Her daughter was dead! With her heart in her mouth she moved closer to the servants who were clustered round the still figure of her daughter. The servants cleared a path for her as she drew closer. "What happened to my baby", she wailed. At the sound of her mother's voice, the still figure on the ground moved and opened her arms for the comfort that only a mother could provide. With tears in her eyes, Leah hugged her baby as the young girl cried like her heart was broken.
Indeed her heart was broken. She'd been violated! Raped! Leah pulled Dinah into her arms praying the pain away, wanting her daughter's pain to be HER PAIN. She wanted to be the one who's was violated. She could bear the pain but Dinah was her little girl too young for life's pain or any pain. Without a word, she led the broken girl into the house and gently stripped off the blood stained clothes from her body. The water cleaned her body but it could not wash the damage that had been done to her little girl. Leah gently led Dinah into her room, wrapped her in a blanket and tried to warm a young heart that had gone cold. "Lord, where did I go wrong? leah wondered. She'd suffered all her life. Ridiculed for her "weak eyes" while growing up and unloved by her husband...not to mention having to share the said man with her sister. She'd done her best to protect her kids now this! What would people say? "God why? “Mummy I'm sorry", Dinah whispered and started to cry again. "It’s ok, my darling", Leah reassured her. But she had her fears. "Hush little baby, don’t you cry," she sang. "mamma's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if the mocking bird wont sing, mamma's gonna buy you a diamond ring". She continued singing until she heard the quiet but husky breathing of her little girl gone to sleep.
This "assumed scenario" in Genesis 34 played out in my mind as I watched Joshua play with the toys in the Doctor's surgery. I'd noticed something was wrong when he was less than a year and I'd shared my concerns to my GP who referred us to the children's hospital. This visit was a confirmation of my fears-A MOTHER'S NIGHTMARE. Every parent desires the best for their children and worry when something goes wrong or a child does not grow as expected. The initial feeling is SELF BLAME and the questions start to roll. Where did I go wrong? What have I done to deserve this? Could it be something in my Past? Then ANGER, BITTERNESS,DISAPPOINTMENT, REGRETS,SHAME SELF PITY AND RECRIMATIONS, DEPRESSION etc. Can you understand the pain of being ashammed of your own child and disappointed? I felt all that and more. In all I have learnt it was not my fault neither are the challenges you face your fault. Sometimes this thing happen that we might NEEDGOD AND LEAN ON HIM. Even if it was your fault, all the more reason to NEED HIM like I do now more than ever.
It’s been a challenge with Joshua but it’s a good challenge (I wouldn't exchange the experience for the world). I sometimes worry when I'm not with him and hope other kids don’t take advantage of Him. These concerns are normal but since I'm not OMNIPRESENT or OMNISCIENT, I gladly hand over the situation to one who IS-PROBLEM SOLVED. Leah could not control the actions of her sons when they heard about what happened to their sister but she could ease the pain of her baby girl.
I have learnt in the process that the best thing I can do for my baby is to leave him In God's hands and not worry my head off. Worry never changes the situation but GOD CAN. He is FAITHFUL TO HIS WORDS.
I daily bless Joshua with the word and declare God's promises upon His life. I lay claim to Healing scriptures because it’s MEDICINE TO OUR FLESH“For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh”. Proverbs 4:22
I have also let go of the VICTIM'S MENTALITY AND EMBRACED THE VICTOR'S ATTITUDE because I know “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Rom 8:28.
He has a lovely smile! Infact, I love the way his eyes twinkle when he smiles! My heart is supposed to skip a beat in anticipation or with longings for more moments like this (atleast according to M&B...thank God wise women have discovered that fictional romantic books aint the best for relationship advice). Rather, my palm was sweaty and my heart skipped a beat in trepidation. What is wrong with me I wondered as I gently ate my Thai curry rice and watched him wolf down his stake and chips(hey! he said he was hungry didnt he?). Aside from the obvious reasons staring me right in the face, why am I scared of him or better still what am I scared of?
Its been ages since I was in a relationship aside from that nitwit that i thought would be but never was(shit happens). Today I realised that I am truly scared of any emotional attachment to the opposite sex. For six years I have hidden under the guise of waiting for the right person and saving sex for the marital bed but the truth is how can I give myself when I'm scared shitless about being hurt or making mistakes. I cant even bring myself to give having a relationship a go.Ofcourse, sex outside marriage is a no-no as the bible rightly outlines in Heb 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immorale". But this gal is covering up deeper issues. hmmmm!
Sometimes, I tell myself that I'd rather be alone,build my career and have another baby through adoption as I want Josh to have a brother or a sister. Other times I crave the companionship of a partner, someone to call and ask how my day was. I watch some of my married friends and truly desire what they have but other times I love the single life I've built for myself over the years.My date is not as educated as I am neither is he tall dark and handsome but he seemed genuinely nice and wants a real relationship with me. Why am I allowing the errors and hurts of the past hold me back from what might be a beautiful union. I told him we should not rush things and I'll give him feedback after giving the idea of us together another thought but what i trully want to do is crawl under a huge rock and disappear(talk of being complicated).
I believe its high time I dealt with the heart of the issue and stop hiding behind excuses, fear, hurt and the past. this sister seriously needs therapy.
I woke up this morning upset.For reasons i couldn't fathom i was angry. Joshua's smile and early morning antics only made matters worse. i searched my mind for the cause of my annoyance and found no logical reasons for the dark clouds. Could it be because I have not studied or read my bible properly in two days, i wondered. Shrugging off my bed covers, i went downstairs to make breakfast for the lil boss. The innocent boy was unaware he was treading on dangerous waters as he kept skipping and bouncing around me almost tripping me more than twice. I sighed as i poured milk into a bowl and placed it in the micro wave. I made up my mind instantly while watching the milk warm that I'll not allow this dark cloud loom any larger. i began praising God and switched on the radio in the living room. Sweet melodious christian song gently filled the house and my heart and slowly my countenance lifted. The devil cannot rob me off the joy of another day. I have purposed to always adopt an attitude of praise no matter the situation. Joy is a precious gift from God to His children that is not determined by circumstances or situations. Paul and Silas were determined not to be overwhelmed by their prison experience but chose to praise God anyway. Thoughts are like seed that gradually blossom when watered either with faith or fear. A seemingly mindless concern about the future can become a full fledged worry or frustration if not nipped in the bud.We read in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that we should cast down "arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." We need to learn to deflect every form of worry or negative thinking with the word of God and choose to live a joy filled life.Phil 4:8"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things". our thoughts must glorify God as Almighty and All sufficient father. Anxiety limits God. I had cause to worry about a medical report recently but i later shook off the feeling and encouraged myself in the lord. my doctor is not God. only God has the final say over my life-no one else does. the word of God is the final jurisdiction over all that concerns me. What you think about matters. In the book of 2 cor 6:7, God acknowledged David's desire to build him a temple because it was in his(David's) heart to do so. So, i am determined to guard my heart and mind and hold every thought captive that wants to exalt against the knowledge of God. If the word of God says it then i believe It.....Why Worry?
Today's hot chocolate for cold morning will be dealing with anxiety. I was a worrier like Martha in Luke 10:38-42, easily distracted and desiring everything to be picture perfect. Unfortunately,things don't normally turn out as envisaged-relationships get broken, people get hurt, betrayed and food get burnt...lol. Worrying never changes anything rather makes things worse. In trying to get things done, people get stepped on and saddest of all you miss out on the greatest opportunity in life. In the case of Martha, she was busy trying to create the perfect atmosphere for Jesus so much that she almost missed out on the greatest moment which was "to be and learn" at the feet of Jesus unlike her sister Mary "Martha, Martha", the Lord answered, " are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her". Anxiety stressfully puts at the fore what should be at the latter. It is trying to control everything within and outside your sphere of influence. Anxiety occurs when man tries to pay God. Ever seen a rocking chair? Well worry is like sitting on a rocking chair and having some semblance of motion but not really going anywhere!
Sadly,when you act out in anxiety or worry you ultimately make wrong decisions. Great decisions are never made in anxious moments (Go watch Men in Black III-Will Smith's partner refused to make a life altering decision till he had eaten a calming bowl of pie and it worked ...lol). Some years ago I found myself practically tied up in knots over some issues I had no obvious control over. My seeming helplessness made me very unhappy and frustrated. That night, I called up a dear friend and she gave me this advice that I'm going to share with you. Her advice was that I take life "ONE DAY AT A TIME" . You see anxiety is worrying about the challenges of tomorrow and the bible rightly says "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:24. its like worrying about dinner when you've not eaten breakfast. That sounds foolish put like that doesn't it? but we find ourselves acting foolishly most times despite our best intentions. What do you do when anxious thoughts come knocking? Scripture says "cast your cares upon the lord and He'll give you rest. What a great pleasure for the soul when it knows someone else is handling its problem. Moreover, worrying causes premature wrinkles and is the major cause of heart related problems. kindly give those anxious thought s a rest-LET GO AND LET GOD
