Monday, 17 November 2014

The Flip Side of Counselling.

I over heard someone counselling a friend on the phone the other day and the conversation virtually spooked me . Like seriously. I didn't mean to eaves drop on the conversation but given my vantage proximity with the "counsellor" on the train I had a good seat in the house for a "good listen".

 From the one sided conversation, I gleaned that the caller who happened to come from a dysfunctional family had just lost her mother and was in dire need of comfort as expected. However the words of the "Counsellor" were anything but comforting. It ranged from tossing blame to fuelling the already smouldering fire in the other person's life. I practically cringed at every suggestion that this person made. I am not a counsellor and I believe neither was the person. This person was not helping in anyway but was driving a wedge between members of an already bickering family. As at the end of my temporary assignment as "unpaid Amebo" I almost became depressed and I wondered what state the other person would be in. 

Friends, its good to seek help even advice from others but more importantly be mindful of whose advice you are seeking. Not everybody is a  qualified  counsellor.  The on-line dictionary describes a counsellor as a person who gives counsel or advise. The person must be qualified!.If I need advice concerning my car I go to a mechanic not a hairdresser. However I can approach a hairdresser if the person has experienced similar challenges that I am privy to and has constructive advice . Before I bought my current car I sought advice from a friend who'd driven same model to know the benefits or otherwise of the car. Counselling in itself is good and most times necessary if a person is seeking help in dealing with an issue.   A counselling session should therefore bring clarity not condemnation. You shouldn't feel worse after sharing the issues that concern you with another person.

When Isaiah prophesied concerning the birth of Jesus in Isaiah 9:6, he described Him as the "Wonderful Counsellor". He is a wonderful counsellor because His words/advice does not bring condemnation. A person is much better after encountering Him."there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ" Hebrew 4:15
Jesus is a qualified Counsellor because He's been through everything that you are going through. "for we do not have a High Priest who's able to empathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are-yet did not sin.
One of the attributes of the Holy Spirit is Counsellor amongst many. When Jesus was going to be the Father, He did not leave the disciples bereft but comforted them in the person of the Holy Spirit to help, intercede, strengthen and counsel the disciples and us too in this dispensation. 
For now I've given up eaves dropping, don't want to be depressed by another person's palava! 

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