No more Apologies

I have made a lot of apologies in my life. I have apologised for being bullied in primary school. I apologised for being the object of another person's warped thinking. I apologised for being abused.I apologised for not standing up for myself and standing up to my abusers.  I apologised for not being a First class student. I have apologised for being too cautious and not adventurous enough.  I apologised for not being firm or even firm enough with people. I have apologised for being too soft. I have apologise for not standing for my beliefs. I also have apologised for being "too slow" to grow in my Christian walk. I constantly apologised for "getting knocked up".

 

 Oh how many times have I apologised to my son for not being a better mum or the countless times I apologised to perfect strangers for my son's challenges. In fact I have  apologised to all and sundry including  family, friends and foe alike not to forget waka-pass acquaintances. I have also found myself apologising for being disabled as a result of an unfortunate accident that led to the loss of 3 fingers on my right hand. In trying to live "peaceably with all men" I found myself bearing the brunt and apologising for other peoples mistakes and selfish acts but not any more!!

These trend of apologies trailed me for so long until the day I snapped. I was at an interview and had stretched my left hand for a handshake with my interviewer. Just in the nick of time I caught myself from apologising for being left handed. The accident was not my fault why should I apologise?  Why should I apologise for being disabled? With a smile I stretched my left hand forward and the man swiftly switched his right hand to left and reciprocated the shake. I took charge and the other person followed suit.

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Its one thing to apologise for consequences of wrong choices but another for being yourself. I refuse to apologise for having a sense of humour, for falling in love, for being different, for humility, for caring a tad too much, for offering too many professional services free of charge, for being too generous, for being mischievous, always having a twinkle my eye and always having something to say!  I definitely do not apologise for being a mother. NO MORE APOLOGIES! I have taken a stance and I stand for me!

I am me for a purpose and I accept myself flabs n all! I address my final apology to myself for not loving and living life to the brim, for being slow to realise that I am unique and for that owe nobody any apologies.