EDITOR'S NOTE: Change is most times difficult as it entails letting go of set mindsets, values and embracing the new. New represents uncertainty and for fearful people andcontrol freaks it could be difficult. Change is also not always convenient but always worth embracing. Enjoy this brilliant article by life coaches Marc and Angel Chernoff. Kindly subscribe to their website and purchase their inspiring books.
While there are plenty of positive changes we seek in life – new relationships, new experiences, better education, etc. – for most of us, change represents uncertainty. With uncertainty comes insecurity and worry. The truth is, change isn’t always easy to deal with, but it’s something we have to embrace openly.
We have to force a smile as best we can and push ourselves forward.
Most of us want change as much as we are afraid of it. We say things like, “I’m so unhappy in my marriage, but I'm afraid of being alone.” “I’m sick of working in a corporate cubicle, but I make decent money.” “I can’t stand where I live, but I own my home and it would be hard to sell.”
When we resist change, it’s because we’re still holding on to what life is asking us to release. Whether it’s planned or unplanned change, we are being asked to re-examine our path and consider what direction we really want to travel.
Change is part of living. And whether you like it or not, it’s going to take place with or without your approval. It could be something small (your company assigned you to a new project), or gigantic (death, divorce, or disability). Life has a natural way of forcing us to grow.
Based on my own experience and that of thousands of coaching clients Marc and I have worked with over the years, change is much more enjoyable if you make positive changes consciously and adapt as necessary, instead of waiting for the universe to do it for you. Here are seven signs it is time to make some changes:
1. When you romanticize about the past to escape the present. – Ask yourself why you're afraid to look at the present, and take steps to create a more positive path for yourself.
2. When you feel numb. – When we feel numb to life, it's because we’ve lost passion and motivation. Ask yourself if you're just going through the motions every day. Shake up your routine. Try doing more of what you love each day – make it a priority on your planner and watch your enthusiasm come back. (from the “Passion and Growth” chapter of our book)
3. When you resist good opportunities out of fear of the unknown or what others may think. – First off, forget what others think. What do you think? Instead of holding onto what isn’t working, be open to exploring new ideas and making room for what will work.
4. When your current situation is not supporting your growth. – Be willing to let go of what no longer serves you. Some situations, places, hobbies and people have expiration dates. As you grow and change, so do your needs. Staying in situations that no longer serve you will only keep you trapped and running in place. Give yourself permission to break free of what’s holding you back. (from the “Goals and Success” chapter of our book)
5. When you start to lie to yourself and others to avoid the truth. – Lying creates inner turmoil, shame and guilt. Instead of letting these feelings fester, ask yourself what you're running from that you’re are afraid to admit. If you aren’t doing what you say, ask yourself why you’re over-promising. When your actions no longer align with your words, it’s time to rethink things. Actions will always speak louder than words.
6. When your relationships feel superficial. – Sometimes taking a short break from a friend or romantic partner is the best thing for your personal well-being and your relationships.
7. When you sense you are settling. – Trust the intrinsic nudges coming to you. These inspirational, inner pushes are the catalyst to propel you into a happier and healthy life. Repeat the mantra, “I do not settle. I am worthy of my desires and believe in my abilities and well-being.” (from the “Self-Love” chapter of our book)
And of course, if you're struggling with any of these points, know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and keep our lives on track. This is precisely why Marc and I wrote our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.” The book is filled with short, concise tips on how to do just that. And believe it or not, Marc and I are currently in the process of re-visiting and re-reading some of our own material, just to center our minds on these positive principles. If you’re interested in following along with us and making positive changes in your life this summer, or if you simply want to read (or listen) our book at your leisure, I’m going to extend an unbeatable bonus offer to you for the next 24 hours (offer ends this Thursday morning):