Friday, 25 December 2009
walking on broken heels
I woke up this morning feeling very sad. I turned and looked at Josh's sleepy face. Oh he's so handsome and has grown so big! How time flies. I sighed and snuggled dipper under the duvet.I really don't feel like getting out of bed. its so cold and I feel too lazy to go downstairs and switch on the heater.I'd rather freeze my butt than log them off this cosy positon. "wetin sef" i muttered as my phone buzzed on the bedside table." i am just not in the mood for idle natter with anybody.
My phone has actually been buzzing for the past half hour with friends texting good will messages for the new year.But I'm not in the mood to be nice. Its Christmas but it feels like I'm in another time zone, another planet entirely. My mind flashed over the ups and down of the past year and the pain crept in. The betrayal and rejection felt like an old wound that has refused to heal.A scar that reflects battles fought-lost and won. I sobbed quietly, didn't want to wake josh up at least not yet. Don't want him to see mama teary eyed and sad on a seemingly beautiful and happy day.
"God once again i hand over my fears and pain into your holy hands" i prayed."wrap me in your warm embrace, heal my broken heart and my wounds.fill me with the joy of Christmas. Help me celebrate and appreciate the birth of Christ in Jesus name". Well,time to get up and get ready for the day.lots of Xmas parties to attend and friends to hook up with.Now for the perfect party dress. Don't want to look like something the cat dragged in.
I chose to pair a dark blue skinny jeans and silk top with some killer heels. "hope i can walk in them" i thought to myself.Despite the obvious discomfort,nothing was gonna make me change my mind.
most women love shoes and would spend a fortune to increase and improve their collections. I've seen friends including myself suffer blistering pain, blisters and God help us, occasional twisted ankle and body ache for the sake of looking good in a pair of heels.who said looking good was easy! We've so mastered the art of looking good while enduring pain. Have you ever wondered how a woman can still look good and be having intense menstrual pain?
it has become easy to hide under the cover of make up and designer clothes when we are truly hurting inside. Pretence has become second nature with men and women doubled over in pain, robbed off their joy by circumstances but still smiling.Many times the loud boisterous laughter could be hiding betrayal,rejection, hurt,loss,abuse etc. What will happen if God for one second would allow humans to glimpse and read each others mind.I wonder!!!
Human beings are like onions with layers. If you are patient with that annoying friend or boss,you'll realise that angry disposition only hides a vulnerability. we are so scared to reveal our softer sides that we'd rather push people away than allow anybody get close. Its nobody's fault sha! most times, vulnerability are used as a weapon to hurt more by the people you confide in.
But there is one person I've made up my mind never to hide from-Jesus. I'd rather be naked and not be ashamed with Him than log my trash around with me everyday. He promised in his words "come unto me all ye that labour and are broken hearted and I'll give you rest".
"You'll experience all kinds of ugly situations in this fallen world. But the more you learn to trust that God is in ultimate control of what you're going through, the more you'll see beauty emerge from the ugliness"(culled from Sheila Walsh'book Beautiful Things happen When a woman trusts God).
God never promised that there will be no hurt but he promised to walk you through the issues that threaten to knock you down..
My dear, i am not perfect.Underneath that lovely smile is a little girl walking on broken heels.Its difficult to maintain a lovely poise and elegance on broken heels but I'm leaning on a friend whose shoulders are broad enough to hold me lest i fall again.He is there to catch me when I fall cos he knows I'm walking on broken heels.
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Twisted & Bitter.
"watch where you are going" she screamed at the little boy before grabbing him by his shirt collar and practically dragging him to her car. "Take it easy or you'll hurt him" I cautioned her." as if I care" she replied. "his useless father just saddled me with a problem child and abandoned us and you want me to take it easy? please stay out of this matter". "now u fasten your seat belt before I toss you into the nearest river i can find" she shouted again at the little boy". I reached out to help him with the belt but the lad cringed back into his seat fearing i was about to hit him. I sighed and sank into my seat wondering what had bought about this awful mood in my friend.
we were both quiet on the 10 minutes drive home except for Henry who'd started singing "twinkle Twinkle little star" in the back seat. Oh bless him, I thought to myself. children are so wonderful and innocent. Already he has forgotten and probably forgiven his mum for lashing out at him. poor dude-caught in the bitter feud between his parents.
Nkechi is not a bad person neither is she a bad mother. she is just a victim of many unfortunate events. We met at a church gathering and clicked immediately. Many wondered if we were childhood friends as we did everything together and were as tight as a pack of wolves.
Despite the bond we shared, we had different personalities. Nkechi had a cold veneer with an annoying habit of pushing people away while I was a people- person; very capricious to a fault(not my fault,I'm a shameless sanguine). She is very distrustful of everyone, protective and jealous of the few friends she's got. Initially, I found her difficult to understand until I heard her story. Life was tough, her childhood worse!!! Nkechi survived a polygamous upbringing against all odds. Abandoned by her frail and often abused mother,ignored by a drunk father,she learnt to fend for herself from an early age. She recounted the nights she went to bed cold and hungry as her father's wives could not be bothered by a rival's child. "many times i ran away from home to escape only to return as the outside world was worse" she had told me.
Eventually, she found an escape in Tony. He promised her the world and gave her the world in the endless gifts and attention that she craved. But everything changed after they got married and moved to England. He became a drunken slob and abusive. she returned from work one night to find he's gone leaving her with their 3 year old boy.
He hurt her! He hurt her real bad! The memories of their separation is a scar that throbs every time anyone mentions his name.Now she sees her little boy as a constant reminder of her failure as a wife and person. she is always yelling and screaming at the boy blaming him for all her problems.
I know she loves him but she is finding it difficult to move beyond the harsh blows life has dealt her to enjoy the blessing she has got in her son
Bitterness and unforgiveness is a kill joy. These negative forces quietly and slowly destroys a person. Nobody said life was easy.We've all been through issues and been hurt but we have a choice to forgive, forget and move on. Life is too short to dwell on the past or negative emotions. Everyday is an opportunity to open a new page and start something new. Forgiveness is a mandate from God because it is an healing balm.It gives peace to a troubled heart. When a person harbours grudges and bitterness its like a festering wound that never heals.
My friend is a born again christian but has not experienced God has the balm of Gilead.She is still going about with her pain and bitterness robbing her son off a healthy relationship. when we transfer aggression to innocent kids we contribute in building an emotionally warped and unstable future.
Unforgiveness is a whirlwind that destroys lives in its wake, leaving trails of devastation everywhere it goes.show me an unforgiving person and I'll show you a bitter and twisted person(they roll together, you cant separate one from the other). If you cant recall a happy day filled with friends and laughter,where and what is the joy of living?
I pray Nkechi realises the treasure she's got in her son before its too late. A life of regrets is not worth living.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Too Posh To Laugh.
The journey home from school on the Waterford bound train is usually a very long and boring one. Everyone is tired from a hard day at work.The babies are cranky from the stuffiness of the train while the few adults that could stay awake during the trip have their heads buried in books or magazines. Today's journey was no different except for the infectious laughter from four elegantly dressed women sitted two rows from me. I wondered what was making them laugh. I was tired and hungry, couldn't wait to get home to my lovely son and have an early night.
They were giggling like school girls and it was obvious they must be old friends who'd gotten together for a date. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. They talked about everything on that hour long trip before I got off at my stop. They shared memories:weddings, divorces,births, deaths even that damm crippling Brian Lenihan's budget. However,what struck me most was that no matter the topic of discussion, there was a sporadic and constant burst of laughter in their conversation.
Its been a long time that I heard such infectious, uncontrolled laughter.Those women were practically in stitches in the midst of gloom and depression.Everywhere you turn its an outbreak of bad news-climate change, recession, war, murder,nameless and countless diseases. Hmmmmm! God help us!
My nameless elegant ladies were a breath of fresh air on the usually uninteresting journey. They had something to laugh about despite the sadness that underlined some of their stories. I looked behind my shoulders to catch another glimpse of my new friends only to find other people watching them with fascination.
Laughter is a magnetic force that attracts like a moth to an open flame and happy people light up a room. Happy people are always at the centre of attention,the cynosure of every eye. Two of my favourite Hollywood stars with million dollar smiles are Julia Robert and Cheryl Cole. They've got this humongous smile that is so endearing.
Nobody wants to hang around party poopers with gloomy looks.Gloomy people are usually pessimists and depressing to be around.
Have you noticed that the most prominent feature about Victoria Beckham is not her tiny frame, the wicked heels or the designer ensemble but the petulant smile-less look on her face. Its like someone ran over her cat or the housekeeper burnt her favourite Gucci suit! Get off your high horse woman, take a chill pill and relax!You'll live longer! She reminds me of a frozen pizza albeit an expensive looking one.
Laughter is free and contagious. It spreads quickly and would definitely bring a smile and invigorate the lives of people it touches. It is the sound of victory, a sign of life. It is heart warming and electrifying.Remember, dead people don't laugh.
Worry robs you of life and youth."If you cant help it,then forget it" I read a quote a couple of years ago that I hold close to my heart. It says:
"Worry looks around"
Regret looks behind
Faith looks ahead"
No matter the situation or how dire it might seem, if you look closely enough, you'll find something to laugh about even in the memory of a loved one.
On my way to school yesterday morning,I remembered it was mere weeks to my birthday. It was cold and drizzling but I had this bounce on my feet. I remembered December 2005, I was pregnant and alone in a foreign country.Four years on,I do not drive a fab car or have the poshiest job but I have a lovely, healthy son and we are not homeless. I lifted my head up in the blistering cold, raised my arms into the air, jumped high and gave a huge laugh.
Passers-by gave me a strange look but I didn't mind because I was happy and not TOO POSH TO LAUGH!!!!! This Christmas and in the run up to the New Year, make a decision to laugh more and share a smile.Whatever the situation, it could have been worse.
They were giggling like school girls and it was obvious they must be old friends who'd gotten together for a date. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. They talked about everything on that hour long trip before I got off at my stop. They shared memories:weddings, divorces,births, deaths even that damm crippling Brian Lenihan's budget. However,what struck me most was that no matter the topic of discussion, there was a sporadic and constant burst of laughter in their conversation.
Its been a long time that I heard such infectious, uncontrolled laughter.Those women were practically in stitches in the midst of gloom and depression.Everywhere you turn its an outbreak of bad news-climate change, recession, war, murder,nameless and countless diseases. Hmmmmm! God help us!
My nameless elegant ladies were a breath of fresh air on the usually uninteresting journey. They had something to laugh about despite the sadness that underlined some of their stories. I looked behind my shoulders to catch another glimpse of my new friends only to find other people watching them with fascination.
Laughter is a magnetic force that attracts like a moth to an open flame and happy people light up a room. Happy people are always at the centre of attention,the cynosure of every eye. Two of my favourite Hollywood stars with million dollar smiles are Julia Robert and Cheryl Cole. They've got this humongous smile that is so endearing.
Nobody wants to hang around party poopers with gloomy looks.Gloomy people are usually pessimists and depressing to be around.
Have you noticed that the most prominent feature about Victoria Beckham is not her tiny frame, the wicked heels or the designer ensemble but the petulant smile-less look on her face. Its like someone ran over her cat or the housekeeper burnt her favourite Gucci suit! Get off your high horse woman, take a chill pill and relax!You'll live longer! She reminds me of a frozen pizza albeit an expensive looking one.
Laughter is free and contagious. It spreads quickly and would definitely bring a smile and invigorate the lives of people it touches. It is the sound of victory, a sign of life. It is heart warming and electrifying.Remember, dead people don't laugh.
Worry robs you of life and youth."If you cant help it,then forget it" I read a quote a couple of years ago that I hold close to my heart. It says:
"Worry looks around"
Regret looks behind
Faith looks ahead"
No matter the situation or how dire it might seem, if you look closely enough, you'll find something to laugh about even in the memory of a loved one.
On my way to school yesterday morning,I remembered it was mere weeks to my birthday. It was cold and drizzling but I had this bounce on my feet. I remembered December 2005, I was pregnant and alone in a foreign country.Four years on,I do not drive a fab car or have the poshiest job but I have a lovely, healthy son and we are not homeless. I lifted my head up in the blistering cold, raised my arms into the air, jumped high and gave a huge laugh.
Passers-by gave me a strange look but I didn't mind because I was happy and not TOO POSH TO LAUGH!!!!! This Christmas and in the run up to the New Year, make a decision to laugh more and share a smile.Whatever the situation, it could have been worse.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Seize the moment
Its been a very busy couple of days for me. An unexpected, rather sudden opportunity came my way and I grabbed it with both arms. I started this blog to keep my mind active and put in action,skills that I have acquired through several trainings. My originial intention and its still in the bag is to develop every idea I have on the blog's dash board but I may have to suspend those for now.
I have learnt in the past four years to embrace every opportunity to develop and better myself without making excuses. The secret to success is to update oneself or be considered irrelevant. That is why most companies spend a fortune on employee training and development.
There is no actual ideal or perfect moment for anything in life. you just have to seize the moment and every chance that comes your way.Life is too short for regrets or wasting of time.Make every moment count. It is better to try and fail than not try at all. Stop making excuses!
You may not have the perfect husband but make your relationship count.Make every moment worthwhile with your partner.
You may not have the perfect job but rather than drag your feet to work, bounce all the way. If not resign and stop whinning and making every other person's day a misery.
I learnt the hard way to stop looking for faults in people rather look beyond the facade, strip the outer layers and see the beauty that lies beneath the surface. There is a diamond in everyone even in the most unlikely candidate.
I lost a brother in 1993 and my only regret was that I never told him how much I loved him as much as I wanted. That my dear, hurts like hell. So now I try to make every relationship count as much as I can.
I had post natal depression after the birth of my son(just finished a project that will soon be aired on radio titled "post natal depression-A Silent Cry". Despite the fact that I carried him for nine months and breast fed him,I never felt like his mother. Motherhood has been the most difficult challenge for me, surprised? well dont be! I survived an accident in which over 60 people died and lost 3 fingers on my right but I adjusted to my physical disabilities just fine.
It took over two years for the maternal bonding to set. I went through the motions of being a mother but never trully felt like one. The worst part was not having anyone to share my feelings with without the condemnation and unfair judgement. Anywho,I came to my senses when I realised I was missing out of my son's early years. I cant really recall his first laughter and all those many significant early stage moments. Thank God the spell was broken and I snapped out of the "trance". Now I see and apreciate him more. Only you can decide how long you wallow in the valley of despair. Even when what you desire is not forthcoming yet, make the best use of your wait.
moreover,you cannot turn back the hands of time but can impact today and change tomorrow.
So what will it be? regrets Or success? The power is in your hands! The choice is yours! Seize the moment and make a difference!
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Reaching beyond The pain
Have you ever been hurt or betrayed? It hurts doesn't it? well, I have been hurt so many times that I have lost count. Infact,I have stopped counting. My ability to hurt and feel pain only reflects my humanity.But I dont love being hurt or be the one that inflicts pain on others. I have a track record of avoiding confrontations or any situation that will bring a fellow human to despair or tears. So it hurts when others are inconsiderate and selfish maybe even self centered.
I hate to fight but that doesn't make me a sissy. I prefer calm, rational discussions but it seems if you dont fight people just walk over and trample on your feelings.
The hypocrisy of it all is when we profess we are christians. we talk the talk but dont walk the walk. Holding or keeping grudges has become a regular past-time maybe even a lifestyle. There is no longer any clear cut difference between belivers and unbelievers. we share the same pursuits, ideals and probably methods of winning. Woe betides whosoever unfortunately stands in our ways. Isn't that sad?
I hate to see people cry. A close pal of mine called me two nights ago and was crying.She had been betrayed by a close relative. Her tears broke my heart cos I could feel the pain in her voice. I felt like giving her a hug, take the pain way but she was thousands of miles away. I was not physically beside her but I helped solve the problem and that made me feel good.
I love helping people. I love making others feel good but there is hardly anyone to reach when I need a hug or just someone to talk with. It used to hurt when people are unappreciative of a kind gesture but it does not matter anymore.Despite this shortcoming in human nature, I still chose to be who I am-Mrs Clause. I am proud to be a daughter of Zion designed to show love and shower love.
I am not perfect but I am striving to be who God has called me out to be. I have learnt to reach beyond the valley of pain and forgive betrayals, hurts and disappointments. There is no comfort in pain or reward in vengance so why hold on to grief,depression or any negative emotion? Its a dark hole that offers no true peace.
In everything "Let go and Let God"
Its time to embrace peace and move on from the valley of despair though I learnt that lesson the hard way. If you are bitter and angry,check out your opponent he/she is probably having a ball( i bet it hurts real bad).Leave the business of revenge to God and reach beyond the pain. It will eventually feel good and that my friend is a promise!!!!
Sunday, 22 November 2009
Climate Change a Scary Reality
Its been raining ceaselessly in the last couple of days with severe flooding causing widespread damage nation wide. Galway,Cork and carlow are the wost hit with houses, farmlands and properties heavily submerged in water. The flooding has already claimed it first human victim in the united kingdom as a police officer was swept away by rising water while on duty.
Television and the dailies offer no solace from the cold outdoors as views of a world submerged underwater is being projected in a bid to shock nations to curb climate change. It brings to mind movies like "the day after tomorrow" and the realities of global warming and climate change.
Last night, I watched the devastation in Galway and people queing for water. some schools have been closed for health reasons.(how would you tell a 5year old kid not to flush the toilet because of water shortages?). I started to wonder how I would cope if Athy got flooded(God forbid!). Already the River Barrow has over-run its banks. A wise business owner across the road had sand bags in front of his office in preparation if it gets worse. I don't panic easy but if you are a physically challenged single mum with a three year old boy, you've got to be optimistic and not give room for pessimism. The inconvinience would be indescribable. On my way to kildare this morning, I had to drive carefully as I didnt want the old banger to betray me; a better part of the road was covered in water and driving conditions hazardous.
what lessons has the world learnt from the tragedies of hurricane Katrina, the tsunami and other disasters that have rocked the world in recent years.Its no longer news that a huge cause of climate change is man made."Emissions of greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane from heavy industry, transport and agriculture, are resulting in increased air and ocean temperatures, drought, melting ice and snow, rising sea levels, increased rainfall and flooding"(IRish Idependent 2009).
The benefits of Technology are immeasurable but so are its consequencies when abused. I belive the world has abused technological development. We have advanced so well that its better and cheaper to eat from cans than cook from scratch. It is posh to eat out than stay indoors and cook for the family. The home front is practically non-existent as everyone is chasing the proverbial greener pastures. where are we heading? we'd rather bury our heads in the internet(like moi) than interact with people giving rise to lonely frustrated people). Bear with me here, I'm not condemning technology and its uses but its abuse with reckless and careless living
We owe it to our children and generations to come to combat climate change. A little change in our life styles will make a difference.
According to recent weather forecast, if u'r are still disillusioned and dreaming of a white christmas, you have a veryyyyy looooong wait!!
photos courtesy Irish Independent Newspapers
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Having A Good Attitude
It started out all wrong. Infact I woke up cranky cos I had a miserable night. An annoying phone call right in the middle of a wonderful dream set the ball rolling for a night of tossing and turning. The weather was against me as well, it had rained cats and dogs all through the night and someone somewhere was obviously having fun pouring bucketfull of water on the folks of Ireland. Infact the person must be reeling in laughter watching the frown on my face and the tumoil in my heart. I was really upset and hurt cos I had set great plans for the day.I had gone to bed with a sense of purpose and determination.
However, right in the middle of my morning chores it hit me gobsmack in the face. Why am I allowing the event of the night and the miserable weather set the tone for my day? Ofcourse its annoying that the plans I made the night before had been clogged but I can still make a lemon out of lemonade.
How do we react when things don't play out the way we plan or expect? Do we become grouchy and miserable, blaming the world including God for our miseries? I have learnt that a negative attitude doesn't help anyone especially You n I. It sends wrong signals to people around. You might even be labelled a Kill-joy and lose friends.
With this revelation, I began to confess the word of God to uplift my spirit. I told myself "the joy of the lord is my strength", "This is the day the lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it". Infact I sang myself out of the blue mood". If the dark cloud did not leave, I would have driven driven myelf into the pits of depression.
However, despite my blooming self encouragement, my day continued to spiral out of control but I didn't let go. I just couldn't allow myself to believe God is not in control of my day to day living.
A good attitude is a choice. You choose how you start and end your day just as you choose the people you allow into your life. I'm determined not to allow circumstances and people affect my choices. I choose to have a good attitude against all odds. I may not be where I'm suppose to be or have that dream job but I still believe a good attitude beats a lousy life.
However, right in the middle of my morning chores it hit me gobsmack in the face. Why am I allowing the event of the night and the miserable weather set the tone for my day? Ofcourse its annoying that the plans I made the night before had been clogged but I can still make a lemon out of lemonade.
How do we react when things don't play out the way we plan or expect? Do we become grouchy and miserable, blaming the world including God for our miseries? I have learnt that a negative attitude doesn't help anyone especially You n I. It sends wrong signals to people around. You might even be labelled a Kill-joy and lose friends.
With this revelation, I began to confess the word of God to uplift my spirit. I told myself "the joy of the lord is my strength", "This is the day the lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it". Infact I sang myself out of the blue mood". If the dark cloud did not leave, I would have driven driven myelf into the pits of depression.
However, despite my blooming self encouragement, my day continued to spiral out of control but I didn't let go. I just couldn't allow myself to believe God is not in control of my day to day living.
A good attitude is a choice. You choose how you start and end your day just as you choose the people you allow into your life. I'm determined not to allow circumstances and people affect my choices. I choose to have a good attitude against all odds. I may not be where I'm suppose to be or have that dream job but I still believe a good attitude beats a lousy life.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
When God seems far away.
*Nadine*was inconsolable. Tears were streaming down her face n she screamed in pain as the doctor proded her with his gloved hands.*Nky* held her hands and whispered encouraging words into her ears with the hope of stemming the flow of tears. 'it'll soon be over dearie' Nky continue to whisper.'it'll soon be over'. 'But will it ever? Nadine cried and wailed louder.
Her pain was beyond physical as her drug riddled mind went over the day's event. Never had she in her wildest dream thought she'd end up in the hospital, a victim of rape. She never imagined or dreamed she'd lose her virginity suddenly or brutally. The day had started like any other school day. The weather was fantastic and she had her whole life ahead of her.
It had seemed too good to be true when Isa offered to take her home after tutorials that night. she didnt mind cos she was broke and not expecting money from her parents till d end of the month. During the ride,she'd expressed surprise when Isa took the turn that led off campus instead of the one that led to the hostel.He'd answered that he needed to pick up something from his house in town. Isa was her friend, she had nothing to worry about; she trusted him.
He lived on the posh side of town, in a luxurious apartment he shared with two other undergraduate students. However, there were 6 boys in the house that evening,smoking and drinking while watching a movie. she was uneasy and expressed her feelings to Isa who calmed her and mocked her for being a sissy. He took her to his room and left to bring a drink. After 5 minutes, she heard a commotion in the living room and stood to investigate. At the door she was roughly shoved back into the room and the lights switched off. she tried to scream but someone stifled her cry and pushed her to the floor. She struggled but there were 3 of them. 2 held her down n pulled her trousers down. This was not how she imagined she'd lose her virginty. she was saving herself for the right man-for her wedding night.
it hurt but her mind went numb as the 3 of them raped her brutally. Isa was the first and when he was through, he called out to the other guys to have their turns. it seemed like hours but it was mere minutes. They left her in the pool of her own blood. she wept like a child but no sound came from the pain in her heart. Isa came in later and pushed her out of the apartment into the streets. why she asked? but he didnt reply but shut the door in her face. Her tears had dried but her pain was great. She looked around her, why hadn't anyone heard her screams and come to her rescue. She dragged her broken body and began the walk back to school. it was dark and the road lonely but she was beyond fears.What worse could happen, she wondered.
she continued to trudge along the road till she got a lift back to school. Reporting to the school authories was not even an option as she couldn't face the shame or probable ridicule by other students. what would her parents say?
Nadine was 18,an ordinary student with great hopes and aspirations. Never drank or smoke and certainly didnt move with the wrong crowd in school. she was simply a victim of a money-miss-road son's evil plot to be accepted into a student cult.
Why did Isa chose her for his malicious plan? He was supposed to be her friend. where was God when he was concocting his plans? why didn't he stop him or even prevent her from getting into his car.
Nadine is 30 years now and married with 2 kids. she still has occassional flashbacks and wonders why God allowed her to be raped? But she uses her pain to reach out to victims of rape, abuse and other vice.
Why does God allow pain and why do evil doers go unpunished? I don't have answers to these questions but I know and i'm rest assued that "the wicked will not go unpunished".I'm also confident that through the pain and heartache, God is present .He allows pain for a reason and someday it will make sense.paslm 23 says "though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil for though art with me;thy rod and thy staff they comfort me".
Saturday, 14 November 2009
Happily Ever After
I love the idea of love especially romantic love stories. It reminds me of the innocent days of "First love,true love". Awwww, those were the days, when love was not tied to conditions. It did not matter if the dude had money,a car or the material benefits that people seek in relationships these days.
As a younger babe, I read lots of Mills & Boons. The idea of being swept off my feet by an immpossibly handsome rich guy with the happily ever-after endings were impossible to resist. The stories provided a much needed escape from reality. All round me was poverty. Families of more than six were crammed into a one bed "face-me-i-face- you" house. Having to share basic ammenities with eight other families was enough to drive any normal teenage into a fantasy world of luxury.
I had a somewhat priviledged upbringing but most of my childhood friends didnt. My family's rented 3-bed apartment was their hide-out and my mother's left over cookings,5 star cruisine. Most of the girls developed a fondness for Mills & Boons at this time. we always wondered who'll get the best catch(boyfriend)and have the happily ever after. We desired the material possessions but we felt true love was the key to a successful relationship. we wanted true love's magical kiss and poverty was a no no. My close friend Theresa would never read a book whose protagonist was a poor man.Her rationale was why use her money to buy or borrow a book that reflects reality-she craved fantasy.
The harsh truth as we later experienced was that life is actually "a bed of roses"- thorn-filled and the pretty princess always gets her fingers pricked. There are no seven little dwarfs watching out for Sleeping Beauty while she takes her wonder nap. Life is just no fairy tale!!!.it doesn't sting it bites!!!!!.I have learnt nothing absolutely prepares you for adulthood and relationships except the word of God.. "Experience based on the truth of God's words is trully the best teacher".
Despite our expectations some of my mates had a rough introduction to the game of love and were bitterly burnt -*Tina was raped by one of her mum's drunken customers,*Bella became James' punching bag while *Eka was Kelechi's Doormat. Hmmmmm!how did it all go wrong? you are never prepared enough, i guess! Nevertheless, despite my own experiences, i still hope for true love.Infact, i still believe in true love. Love untainted, selfless, strong, honest,truthful and honourable. I am determined to have my fairytale ending cos it is possible to have a "happily ever after"
As a younger babe, I read lots of Mills & Boons. The idea of being swept off my feet by an immpossibly handsome rich guy with the happily ever-after endings were impossible to resist. The stories provided a much needed escape from reality. All round me was poverty. Families of more than six were crammed into a one bed "face-me-i-face- you" house. Having to share basic ammenities with eight other families was enough to drive any normal teenage into a fantasy world of luxury.
I had a somewhat priviledged upbringing but most of my childhood friends didnt. My family's rented 3-bed apartment was their hide-out and my mother's left over cookings,5 star cruisine. Most of the girls developed a fondness for Mills & Boons at this time. we always wondered who'll get the best catch(boyfriend)and have the happily ever after. We desired the material possessions but we felt true love was the key to a successful relationship. we wanted true love's magical kiss and poverty was a no no. My close friend Theresa would never read a book whose protagonist was a poor man.Her rationale was why use her money to buy or borrow a book that reflects reality-she craved fantasy.
The harsh truth as we later experienced was that life is actually "a bed of roses"- thorn-filled and the pretty princess always gets her fingers pricked. There are no seven little dwarfs watching out for Sleeping Beauty while she takes her wonder nap. Life is just no fairy tale!!!.it doesn't sting it bites!!!!!.I have learnt nothing absolutely prepares you for adulthood and relationships except the word of God.. "Experience based on the truth of God's words is trully the best teacher".
Despite our expectations some of my mates had a rough introduction to the game of love and were bitterly burnt -*Tina was raped by one of her mum's drunken customers,*Bella became James' punching bag while *Eka was Kelechi's Doormat. Hmmmmm!how did it all go wrong? you are never prepared enough, i guess! Nevertheless, despite my own experiences, i still hope for true love.Infact, i still believe in true love. Love untainted, selfless, strong, honest,truthful and honourable. I am determined to have my fairytale ending cos it is possible to have a "happily ever after"
Friday, 13 November 2009
P.S
I promised to get you news, interviews, Travel and tourism, everything plus a bag of chips.Well, i'm working on all that. Just waiting to get my recorder, camera and every other gadget sorted. I'm also carving an office out of my kitchen(i've got this lovely and very large kitchen). so be bear with me.
It Pays To Pray.
One of my all time favourite preaching is by Darlene Bishop titled "Why Won't People Pray". it explores the benefits and importance of having a vibrant prayer life. In other words "a prayerless christian is a powerless christian". one of the mistakes that christians make is believing that prayers must be tied to a particular time and must have a defined format. If you forget to have a quality devotion in the morning before leaving home for work, you can pray on the way to work.It could be while doing the dishes or preparing breakfast. I have discovered that it pays to have stolen quiet moments though nothing beats a quality solitary time with the lord.
The purpose of this post is to celebrate the birth of my little niece, Princess Joyce Olamaoghena-a much awaited and long desired child. The parents had been waiting and expecting for six years after marriage.Of course their faith must have been tested and the fabric of the marriage challenged but thank God their desire came.
One, if not the greatest test of any marriage is if there is a seeming inability of the couple to have children shortly after marriage as expected. Many homes have been broken as a result. In some cultures in Nigeria, six months after the wedding is more than enough period for conception. The in-laws start meddling and questioning the bride(as if its only the woman involved).If you are lucky to have in-laws who respect privacy in marriages its most likely your folks will do the job of poke -nosing in your affairs.
I have had a couple of friends and family members that have been through this problem.A few like my sister-in law are now mothers while some are still waiting.
what advice would you give to a woman that is believing God for a miracle when all else seems to have failed including medical assistance? what advice would you give a woman who's been married for ages without any issue while other couples have babies effortlessly? my answer, keep praying. Its not easy but who said anything good comes easy? proverbs 13 v 12 says "hope deferred makes the heart sick but when the desire comes it is a tree of life"
I am a single mother of one. Despite the challenges I had with my partner,nothing was going to make me abort because i knew pregnancy was a gift and motherhood a priviledge.
Olamaoghena is an Edo name from Nigeria which translates to "the prayer of God".
She is trully a gift from God and the answer to our prayers!!
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Ginger your swagga!
I just heard this song "Ginger ur swagger" by Kc Presh featuring Timaya and totally loved it. They are not really my favourite artistes but i sure love Timaya's attitude( d guy's got swagga). its not by chance i heard the song and fell in love with it the same day i decided to up my tempo.I got tired of just flowing with the crowd and not making a difference. I believe life is more than just eat,gist,watch t.v and sleep. That my friend is a vicious circle that goes no where.A life of garbage in n garbage out:useless on earth and irrelevant in heaven.you might say you don't fall into that category that you have a regular 9 to 5 job but where is that leading? Are u finding fulfilment in what you are doing and making a difference in somebody else's life. Then i believe it is time to up your game and ginger your swagga!
I told myself on the 1st of november that i might not be an inventor or have the sulution to the recession but i have purposed in my heart to make everyday count and not waste time on meaningless pursuits. In line with this, i have set goals for the month and i have actually achieved some. the list is pasted on my wardrobe and its the first thing i see every morning when i wake. some have been difficult to follow but i'm not giving up but will continue to strive till i get the desired results. In the words of Mathew Ashimolowo "it is not over till you win". Remember, no good thing comes easy.
Every success story that we hear and read about came by hard work and strategy. you need a strategy to trully succeed and excel in your chosen endeavours. First corinthians 9:24 says"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. verse 26 further says"Therefore I run thus:not with uncertainty. Thus,I Fight,not as one who beats the air". If so folks,If you want to stand out, map a strategy. you want to excel, Ginger your swagga!
I told myself on the 1st of november that i might not be an inventor or have the sulution to the recession but i have purposed in my heart to make everyday count and not waste time on meaningless pursuits. In line with this, i have set goals for the month and i have actually achieved some. the list is pasted on my wardrobe and its the first thing i see every morning when i wake. some have been difficult to follow but i'm not giving up but will continue to strive till i get the desired results. In the words of Mathew Ashimolowo "it is not over till you win". Remember, no good thing comes easy.
Every success story that we hear and read about came by hard work and strategy. you need a strategy to trully succeed and excel in your chosen endeavours. First corinthians 9:24 says"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. verse 26 further says"Therefore I run thus:not with uncertainty. Thus,I Fight,not as one who beats the air". If so folks,If you want to stand out, map a strategy. you want to excel, Ginger your swagga!
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
The House Of Loko
wow! can't believe i'm actually doing this but what the heck i've got nothing to lose. I've got loads of energy and believe me i'm brimming with loads of stories and ideas to share. Get ready to be bedazzled by "moi".
starting this blog is not only an outlet for me but a journey of self discovery and the emergence of my loko side. I'm unashammedly loko and proud to be me. The term loko literarily means "nut case". If being myself makes me a nutcase then go ahead and call me that( i dare u!).
The house of loko is a celebration of my individuality and qualities that makes me who I am. I am a natural extrovert but there are times that i crave the occassional quiet(i sure love drama). Over the past four years, certain events and circumstances(i'll share them with u later) made me conservative, reserved and a shadow of myself. I became lost in a world that practically lost meaning to me. Those were the dark days but thank God I found the light at the end of the tunnel and came crawling through. The journey was slow and hardous but I came through n swore nothing will take me back, nothing can stop me now. I welcome you to the House of Loko! its a place for those who dare to be themselves. its a place for those who have lost their voice and are seeking to find solace. Once in a while we'll cry together, laugh together but most of all, i believe we will grow together as we share stories and experience.
I am so excited to be on this journey. i am excited you are taking this journey with me.
So welcome to the "House Of Loko"
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