A FEW GOOD MEN and women.

I had this interesting discussion with a couple of friends some weeks back and the discussion somewhat shifted to men(no surprises there...lol). A running trend was how a lot of women have been hurt by men, how men now shirk their responsiblities and bottom line "there are no good men in Ireland". I wish I had taken a recording of how my dear friends were spewing fire..lol. As I gazed at the faces of the women at this informal meeting, I noticed we all had a lot in common aside from our bulging tummies....lol Some of us are single mothers made to bear the burden of raising kids alone without any form of support from the fathers. Even the ones that were married still shoulder the burden of being both father and mother at the same time. The single girls complained bitterly about how men just want to "use and dump"...how pathetic! I seriously blame this ugly trend on the erratic Irish weather!! It has the ability to turn any sane person nuts..lol. While not totally exonorating the women, I am not in a position to proffer reasons for any man that fails to uphold his position in the family as a priest, provider, care giver and father, they do a good job at making excuses themselves. I simply marvel at how a man would deliberately abandon his children simply because "he fell out of love with his wife or the woman is bad" or my all time favourite "my wife is a witch". Excuse me!!! but what about the children? Unfortunately, the first model for children are their parents. Children are great observers and are quick to recreate what they see!!! remember that the next time you want to utter an unkind thing about your spouse because it will bounce back at you!!! Even the church is not exempt as members tend to copy the mannerism of their pastors!! Jesus' disciples were identified because their lifestyles modelled the lord!! Every home needs a disciplinarian and that's one of the roles of the father but when the men abdicate their position the result is a family in chaos and society in disarray!!. The rise in single parent families and absentee fathers was identified as one of the causes of the London riot in 2011. Every child especially the boy child needs a father figure to emulate. So what happened? Where have the good men gone. As I pondered this knotty issue, I was reminded of the story in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was bemoaning the killing of the the priests of Jehovah by Jezebel and saw himself as the "last man standing". But God's response staggered him " Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him". Despite the huge number of priests that were killed by Ahab and his queen there were remnants that the lord had preserved for himself. It doesn't matter the number of Mis-directed and "deadbeat men out there there a few good men too. This I believe strongly. I know men who are kind, generous and God fearing. These type are not extinct-they really do exist but it takes sifting through the chaff to find one. Any man reading this that needs reprogramming, this a life changing event you shouldn't miss. Hey we all need help sometimes....make that ALL THE TIME

Perfectly Normal

"Sit down Joshua", I screamed. "Don't make me come after you", I continued, straining to grab him as he made a dash for the stairs . Next I knew he was bouncing and jumping on the bed. "Nevermind, I told myself and gave up the chase. Josh could go on and on running round in circles, bouncing on the chair, barely sitting for the whole day. Its enough to drive any sane person mad. I imagined his hyperactivity is related to autism or aren't little boys meant to be quiet? WRONG!!!. I don't have any experience with little children except the one I've garnered from being Joshua's mum which isn't much I presume. I have this belief that Joshua has to behave in a certain kind of way. you know cool calm and collected, prim and proper, gentlemanly etc. So any bad behaviour outside this "picture in my head" must be a feature of autism. Imagine my surprise when a friend's son practically drove the mother nuts at a church event. The poor woman was at her wits end with absolutely no clue on what to do and how to get him to behave. David is a perfectly normal six year old boy without any known health challenge or was I missing out on something. I realised I was! Joshua has been displaying perfectly normal behaviour all along. Boys will be boys. They climb, jump and make a mess,its what little kids do. However, this does not excuse bad behaviour. All this while,I had allowed the doctor's diagnoses to rub me off the joy of enjoying my son and his boyish antics. I had allowed my perspective on "NORMAL" be clouded. I had allowed the label "AUTISM" be linked to my son. Lesson learnt! never allow the facts of a given situation to rub you off the truth of God's word. The fact is Josh has this health challenge but THE TRUTH is "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" James 1:17. Josh is a gift from God therefore he is PERFECTLY NORMAL. Challenges and storms are perfectly normal in our ever changing world but we decide whether to stress, fret, wail and lament in the storm or enjoy the ride and trust God no matter how painful the experience might be. Moreover, Jesus never promised a trouble free ride. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. I have not had a job since college and was initially very bothered but not anymore. In the wake of the economic recession a lot of people are unemployed but some groups are still making money....very much indeed. So instead of dwelling on the recession I've sought ways to develop and improve myself. I choose to believe that ITS ALL GOOD despite the "famine". The truth is, its not about how terrrible the situation is but your perspective of God in that situation. So your perspective matters! Maybe like me, you are having a rough time and think there is something wrong with you. Hold that thought! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Instead of leaning on your limited understanding, trust God and remember you are not alone. There are many people going through similar tough situations like you. After watching that woman and her son, I realised its all good with Joshua. So go on darling, jump some more but don't break my bed!!!.

My Help

I remember the first time I met *Simi*. It was at a church event and she'd offered to take me home as my ride to the program was still busy. Simi was a single parent beautiful and elegantly attired. She drove a lovely car and seemed to have it all. Trust me to be carried away by her blings. Imagine my surprise when she turned up at my doorstep the next day for a chat. During the usual "girl talk", she excused herself to make a call. Aproko that I was (still am), I heard her begging the person on the other end of the call for €50. "Please dear, give me the money I'm very broke and barely have fuel in my car and the kids don't have what to take to school", she kept pleading. This went on for over 30 minutes till her credit ran out. With a sigh, she sat at the dinning table with a defeated look. "Simi", I called. "please don't mind my eaves dropping. The person you've been begging for money is he your boyfriend? "No, he's not, but he's been seriously asking me out", she answered. "and you've been begging him for €50 for over 30 minutes and he did not even offer to help you with €20? I asked really amazed. "my sister wetin I go do", she asked almost teary eyed. "the financial burden is just too much". I offered to loan her the money as I couldnt bare to see a fellow sister in need. It didn't matter that I barely knew her. One common problem suffered by most single parents is in the area of FINANCES. Having to cope and sustain a family single-handedly can be financially crippling and stressfull to anybody.Electricity bills, road tax, insurance, groceries, house rent, family committments, bills bills! How does one cope without going off on a limb or compromising one's values. In my sujourn as a single parent, I've noticed that most men refuse to support their ex-wives or partners simply because the love has gone south between them even when children are involved. It is absolutely irresponsible of any man that does not live up to his resposibility as a father to his children no matter the story between him and their mum! Leaving these ladies in vulnerable situations and most resorting to whatever means to survive is simply unfair!. I know some that were abandoned and left to cope with huge debts and morgage to pay.

I woke up this morning trying to sort my monthly bills. I had to decide which bills needed urgent payment and those I could differ till next week. My roadtax is due for renewal and so is the electric bill. Despite this seemingly urgent needs, I still consider myself blessed. I have learnt to be prudent and not spend money on every whim that catches my fancy. This is called FINANCIAL WISDOM. Some women have this natural urge to compete with others.They have to drive the latest car, carry the latest bag, use expensive perfumes and wear designer outfits. These things in themselves are not bad if you can afford them but not at the expense of your family or having to borrow or sleep around to maintain an outlandish lifestyle. You can still look good on a budget ask Gok Kwan(He's my favourite fashion stylist). I have learnt to balance my finances, pay my bills on time and still save for the rainy day. I've purposed not to compromise my virtues for whatever reason. GOD WILL MAKE A WAY. I don't know how or when but I KNOW HE WILL. I am also blessed to live in a society where the government supports its citizen no matter how small the support is(at all at all na im bad pass). In the early days of my pregnancy when I was alone and traumatised by rejection, my greatest worry was how to cope with a child when I could barely look after myself. God reassured me in Isaiah 54 and I've held strongly to those promises. "For your Maker is your husband,the Lord Almighty is his name" vrs 5. Since then, God has been my husband satisfying every financial and emotional need so I don't have to beg or compromise myself. He can also help you find that balance if you'll only let Him. Society will fail, man will disappoint but I've found God to be an "ever present help in times of trouble". David was forgotten by his own father but God remembered him and promoted him from an ordinary shepard to a King. How awesome! Feeling lonely, abandoned and rejected? God can Help! Its His business to help.