I had this interesting discussion with a couple of friends some weeks back and the discussion somewhat shifted to men(no surprises there...lol). A running trend was how a lot of women have been hurt by men, how men now shirk their responsiblities and bottom line "there are no good men in Ireland". I wish I had taken a recording of how my dear friends were spewing fire..lol. As I gazed at the faces of the women at this informal meeting, I noticed we all had a lot in common aside from our bulging tummies....lol Some of us are single mothers made to bear the burden of raising kids alone without any form of support from the fathers. Even the ones that were married still shoulder the burden of being both father and mother at the same time. The single girls complained bitterly about how men just want to "use and dump"...how pathetic! I seriously blame this ugly trend on the erratic Irish weather!! It has the ability to turn any sane person nuts..lol. While not totally exonorating the women, I am not in a position to proffer reasons for any man that fails to uphold his position in the family as a priest, provider, care giver and father, they do a good job at making excuses themselves. I simply marvel at how a man would deliberately abandon his children simply because "he fell out of love with his wife or the woman is bad" or my all time favourite "my wife is a witch". Excuse me!!! but what about the children? Unfortunately, the first model for children are their parents. Children are great observers and are quick to recreate what they see!!! remember that the next time you want to utter an unkind thing about your spouse because it will bounce back at you!!! Even the church is not exempt as members tend to copy the mannerism of their pastors!! Jesus' disciples were identified because their lifestyles modelled the lord!!
Every home needs a disciplinarian and that's one of the roles of the father but when the men abdicate their position the result is a family in chaos and society in disarray!!. The rise in single parent families and absentee fathers was identified as one of the causes of the London riot in 2011. Every child especially the boy child needs a father figure to emulate. So what happened? Where have the good men gone. As I pondered this knotty issue, I was reminded of the story in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was bemoaning the killing of the the priests of Jehovah by Jezebel and saw himself as the "last man standing". But God's response staggered him
" Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him".
Despite the huge number of priests that were killed by Ahab and his queen there were remnants that the lord had preserved for himself. It doesn't matter the number of Mis-directed and "deadbeat men out there there a few good men too. This I believe strongly. I know men who are kind, generous and God fearing. These type are not extinct-they really do exist but it takes sifting through the chaff to find one. Any man reading this that needs reprogramming, this a life changing event you shouldn't miss. Hey we all need help sometimes....make that ALL THE TIME
Everyone has a weakness. Believe it or not mine is television. It started with Buffy the vampire slayer when i was pregnant and bored out of my wits never mind despodent and alone.I could sit hours on end and watch one cleverly weaved episode of Coronation Street and Emmadale, one after the other with no care for the outside world. I guess it was a way of escape for me. A desired and deserved escape into the world of fantasy. My friends knew never to disturb me when any of my fav programmes were showing. With satelite television came the birth of my obsession with Homer Simpson, the beloved hero and simpleton of Springfield.I am unashammedly in love and maybe in tune with dearest homer.Dohhhh!nothing comes between me and my homy not even you. However in the past couple of weeks and more determinedly in the last few days, I have learnt to switch off the t.v to spend quality play time with joshua. we sit together on the floor and do whatever game comes to mind. Believe me its time well spent. As parents or individuals technology has taken its toll on the amount of quality time we spend with each other.its either facebook or the latest gadget i.e phone Ipod or the most dreaded-work! A constant sight on the train, bus or casual stroll is a tenager with head buried in a fancy toy, ear plugs and music blaring not noticing or caring about whose seated close by or walking past. Technology has replaced relationships-no body smiles in greeting or even bother to say hello anymore.It has moved from the level of entertaiment to clear cut obsession with most people. There is just too much noise and distraction all around us. Aside from these, there's the daily hustle and bustle.Couples barely see each other nor spend quality time with their kids. No wonder the society is becoming dyfunctional and divource rates on the increase.everyone is busy is in search of the proverbial golden fleece. After concluding my course in June,I decided to keep other plans on hold and spend time with my boo at least till he starts junior infant.it was a hard decision but one that was imperative.Ofcourse like most single mothers i need the extra money, but money can not equate time invested in his young life.There is so much that teachers and nannies can do but the bulk work lies with the parent. Time also flies by so quick you wonder where the years have gone and before you know it, he'll be introducing me to his girlfriend. This new level of positive parenting is a new level for me to think motherhood never came easy to me. Its still a challenge but everyday is a new experience and requires a new level of grace. We are responsible for the next genration and generations yet unborn. Every behaviour is an example aptly absorbed and emulated by our children.so be carefull what you say or do around the kids. Arguements between parents should not turn out to be full fledged shouting war or God forbid wrestling bouts. Yep, the bills have to be paid but you dont have to take every avalaible extra shifts at work. Back in Nigeria 5 years ago, most saturdays were bonding time for my younger sister and I. no matter how hectic my work schedule was, i did my best to free my weekends for her as i was the mother figure she had afte we lost our mum in 2000. No one said the journey was going to be easy but hey its a priviledge to be mothers/parents. So i'm loggiong off very soon to read a story to josh, roll some more on the floor and sing Incy wincy spider. yep,I'll be turning off the television.
I had this interesting discussion with a couple of friends some weeks back and the discussion somewhat shifted to men(no surprises there...lol). A running trend was how a lot of women have been hurt by men, how men now shirk their responsiblities and bottom line "there are no good men in Ireland". I wish I had taken a recording of how my dear friends were spewing fire..lol. As I gazed at the faces of the women at this informal meeting, I noticed we all had a lot in common aside from our bulging tummies....lol Some of us are single mothers made to bear the burden of raising kids alone without any form of support from the fathers. Even the ones that were married still shoulder the burden of being both father and mother at the same time. The single girls complained bitterly about how men just want to "use and dump"...how pathetic! I seriously blame this ugly trend on the erratic Irish weather!! It has the ability to turn any sane person nuts..lol. While not totally exonorating the women, I am not in a position to proffer reasons for any man that fails to uphold his position in the family as a priest, provider, care giver and father, they do a good job at making excuses themselves. I simply marvel at how a man would deliberately abandon his children simply because "he fell out of love with his wife or the woman is bad" or my all time favourite "my wife is a witch". Excuse me!!! but what about the children? Unfortunately, the first model for children are their parents. Children are great observers and are quick to recreate what they see!!! remember that the next time you want to utter an unkind thing about your spouse because it will bounce back at you!!! Even the church is not exempt as members tend to copy the mannerism of their pastors!! Jesus' disciples were identified because their lifestyles modelled the lord!!
Every home needs a disciplinarian and that's one of the roles of the father but when the men abdicate their position the result is a family in chaos and society in disarray!!. The rise in single parent families and absentee fathers was identified as one of the causes of the London riot in 2011. Every child especially the boy child needs a father figure to emulate. So what happened? Where have the good men gone. As I pondered this knotty issue, I was reminded of the story in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was bemoaning the killing of the the priests of Jehovah by Jezebel and saw himself as the "last man standing". But God's response staggered him
" Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him".
Despite the huge number of priests that were killed by Ahab and his queen there were remnants that the lord had preserved for himself. It doesn't matter the number of Mis-directed and "deadbeat men out there there a few good men too. This I believe strongly. I know men who are kind, generous and God fearing. These type are not extinct-they really do exist but it takes sifting through the chaff to find one. Any man reading this that needs reprogramming, this a life changing event you shouldn't miss. Hey we all need help sometimes....make that ALL THE TIME
