Wednesday, 12 December 2012
My Help
I remember the first time I met *Simi*. It was at a church event and she'd offered to take me home as my ride to the program was still busy. Simi was a single parent beautiful and elegantly attired. She drove a lovely car and seemed to have it all. Trust me to be carried away by her blings. Imagine my surprise when she turned up at my doorstep the next day for a chat. During the usual "girl talk", she excused herself to make a call. Aproko that I was (still am), I heard her begging the person on the other end of the call for €50. "Please dear, give me the money I'm very broke and barely have fuel in my car and the kids don't have what to take to school", she kept pleading. This went on for over 30 minutes till her credit ran out. With a sigh, she sat at the dinning table with a defeated look. "Simi", I called. "please don't mind my eaves dropping. The person you've been begging for money is he your boyfriend? "No, he's not, but he's been seriously asking me out", she answered. "and you've been begging him for €50 for over 30 minutes and he did not even offer to help you with €20? I asked really amazed. "my sister wetin I go do", she asked almost teary eyed. "the financial burden is just too much". I offered to loan her the money as I couldnt bare to see a fellow sister in need. It didn't matter that I barely knew her.
One common problem suffered by most single parents is in the area of FINANCES. Having to cope and sustain a family single-handedly can be financially crippling and stressfull to anybody.Electricity bills, road tax, insurance, groceries, house rent, family committments, bills bills! How does one cope without going off on a limb or compromising one's values. In my sujourn as a single parent, I've noticed that most men refuse to support their ex-wives or partners simply because the love has gone south between them even when children are involved. It is absolutely irresponsible of any man that does not live up to his resposibility as a father to his children no matter the story between him and their mum! Leaving these ladies in vulnerable situations and most resorting to whatever means to survive is simply unfair!. I know some that were abandoned and left to cope with huge debts and morgage to pay.
I woke up this morning trying to sort my monthly bills. I had to decide which bills needed urgent payment and those I could differ till next week. My roadtax is due for renewal and so is the electric bill. Despite this seemingly urgent needs, I still consider myself blessed. I have learnt to be prudent and not spend money on every whim that catches my fancy. This is called FINANCIAL WISDOM. Some women have this natural urge to compete with others.They have to drive the latest car, carry the latest bag, use expensive perfumes and wear designer outfits. These things in themselves are not bad if you can afford them but not at the expense of your family or having to borrow or sleep around to maintain an outlandish lifestyle. You can still look good on a budget ask Gok Kwan(He's my favourite fashion stylist). I have learnt to balance my finances, pay my bills on time and still save for the rainy day. I've purposed not to compromise my virtues for whatever reason. GOD WILL MAKE A WAY. I don't know how or when but I KNOW HE WILL. I am also blessed to live in a society where the government supports its citizen no matter how small the support is(at all at all na im bad pass).
In the early days of my pregnancy when I was alone and traumatised by rejection, my greatest worry was how to cope with a child when I could barely look after myself. God reassured me in Isaiah 54 and I've held strongly to those promises. "For your Maker is your husband,the Lord Almighty is his name" vrs 5.
Since then, God has been my husband satisfying every financial and emotional need so I don't have to beg or compromise myself. He can also help you find that balance if you'll only let Him. Society will fail, man will disappoint but I've found God to be an "ever present help in times of trouble". David was forgotten by his own father but God remembered him and promoted him from an ordinary shepard to a King. How awesome! Feeling lonely, abandoned and rejected? God can Help! Its His business to help.
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