Wednesday, 12 December 2012
I remember the first time I met *Simi*. It was at a church event and she'd offered to take me home as my ride to the program was still busy. Simi was a single parent beautiful and elegantly attired. She drove a lovely car and seemed to have it all. Trust me to be carried away by her blings. Imagine my surprise when she turned up at my doorstep the next day for a chat. During the usual "girl talk", she excused herself to make a call. Aproko that I was (still am), I heard her begging the person on the other end of the call for €50. "Please dear, give me the money I'm very broke and barely have fuel in my car and the kids don't have what to take to school", she kept pleading. This went on for over 30 minutes till her credit ran out. With a sigh, she sat at the dinning table with a defeated look. "Simi", I called. "please don't mind my eaves dropping. The person you've been begging for money is he your boyfriend? "No, he's not, but he's been seriously asking me out", she answered. "and you've been begging him for €50 for over 30 minutes and he did not even offer to help you with €20? I asked really amazed. "my sister wetin I go do", she asked almost teary eyed. "the financial burden is just too much". I offered to loan her the money as I couldnt bare to see a fellow sister in need. It didn't matter that I barely knew her. One common problem suffered by most single parents is in the area of FINANCES. Having to cope and sustain a family single-handedly can be financially crippling and stressfull to anybody.Electricity bills, road tax, insurance, groceries, house rent, family committments, bills bills! How does one cope without going off on a limb or compromising one's values. In my sujourn as a single parent, I've noticed that most men refuse to support their ex-wives or partners simply because the love has gone south between them even when children are involved. It is absolutely irresponsible of any man that does not live up to his resposibility as a father to his children no matter the story between him and their mum! Leaving these ladies in vulnerable situations and most resorting to whatever means to survive is simply unfair!. I know some that were abandoned and left to cope with huge debts and morgage to pay.