I must confess, I actually watched porn once when I was in primary school! I remembered closing the door to the living room so nobody would catch me unawares. Anybody coming in would have to knock and that would be my signal to remove the video from its player. At that age, I found the scenes both erotic and dirty. I somehow knew it was wrong watching that kind of movie hence my “James bond effort “to conceal the illicit movie and not be found out. Unfortunately for me, the electricity went off and the tape got caught in the player but fortunately also the tape was removed by a mysterious person and nobody asked any question about how it got stuck in the player. This was good as any investigation would have exposed who owned the tape in the first place! So I was saved from a thorough lashing and so was what was left of my “innocence”.
Thinking back on those years, I marvelled at the boldness of those ladies to bare it all and do what they do in front of a whole production crew. Aside from the sin factor and the fact that we live in a decadent age, it takes a lot for a "normal person" to bare it all in front of anybody especially if you have a flawed body image. We live in a time where there is so much media hype about the perfect body image. Hollywood is not helping matters either with celebrities flaunting their assets and paying huge money to get surgical procedures to get the perfect nose, eyes, butt lift, boob job etc. We fear the criticism so we hide the flaws!
Photo shop, air brush, make up and technology are part of a today's arsenal to achieve the illusion of perfection. It’s downright unacceptable not to be on point even in fashion. Such a person will be the butt of media jokes and even friendly jests. How can a whole babe not have an Ipad, blackberry or even fix “ordinary Brazilian Hair?
Even the simple act of taking pictures has become an art as you want only your best side to be taken. Thank God for digital cameras that enables you to edit and delete the ones that make you look like the backside of a hyena. Seriously, do you know how many times I’ve had to untag myself from unflattering photos of me posted on Facebook by friends? You guys are not helping my efforts to nab a millionaire this year, so watch it y’all!
We live in a generation where everyone is "living the good life". On social networking sites everyone has created a persona of being "strong, confident, and successful without fears and concerns. However the truth is we all have areas of vulnerabilities, pains, troubles, issues of concerns that trouble us no matter how rich or successful we are. People around us don’t know about these burdens because we've mastered the art of disguising our feeling and are very fluent in "Christianise".
We fear people knowing that "it’s not all rosy in paradise" so we keep up a facade while slowly dying inside. However success, wealth, marital status does not exempt pain if not rich people will not commit suicide.
We are afraid to be ourselves because of what people will say about us so we hide the flaws behind make-up, clothes and 100 watts smile. We are all desperate to project the right image. Even before God we are afraid to be real.
The book of Genesis 3 tells the story of the great fall. The bible recounts how Adam and Eve hid themselves from God after they ate the forbidden fruit. They realised they were naked and covered themselves with fig leaves. After they owned up to their sin, God made and gave them proper garments made from skin that could provide warmth and better covering than leaves that will dry up.
The fig leaves clothes represent self-effort while the garment of skin was divine help. Isn’t divine help all we need?
I started writing this blog to share my experiences and how God has walked me through challenging times to encourage anyone who might be going through as well. It’s the story of my journey to WHOLENESS AND RESTORATION. I dare to bare it all without holding back. I dare to share my weaknesses and how God has exchanged my fig leaves clothing with His Garment"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God".
Like a friend said "if you've never experienced bereavement, you can never find the right words to console someone who's been bereaved".
I don't believe in glossing over my challenges but boldly share my fears and how God built my faith in the process. Even the strongest of us all sometimes struggle but in all we are more than conquerors. I choose to be real! God deliberately included the stories of mighty men in the bible and their moments of vulnerabilities to inspire and encourage us. If we don’t share our story, how would the world believe our testimony? I read with much respect the personal account of a popular woman of God who suffered depression and how she dared to share with the church. In sharing with the church, her burden was lifted because she got support from the best possible place. "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven" James 5:14-15.
If my journey to wholeness will help another person out there still struggling, then I will bare more. In the words of Greg Laurie “God uses our pain to achieve much”. Therefore don’t waste your pain!
Being naked with my struggles shows faith in God’s ability to heal and restore a life that was once broken….and that my friend takes COURAGE. Moreover it’s not about me, ITS ABOUT HIM