Saturday 1 September 2012

My hands are full

She had a gentle demeanor about her as she smiled making pleasant chit chats with the guests that attended the Deborah conference. There was something peaceful about her as she made the usual talk with the elegantly dressed ladies vying for her attention. I walked up to her and introduced myself as she sipped tea and was obviously taking a breather. It'd been a long but interesting morning and i'm sure this lovely lady would appreciate the rest( she didnt say so but I would...lol. planning such an event no matter how fulfilling it might be must have been tedious especially where it concerns women issues...phew). She gave me that 100% concentration she'd given to others while I introduced myself. Pastor Mrs Adebayo Oke(don't know her first name) is wife to the the National pastor of Redeem Christian Church of God Ireland but she did not strike me as your typical RCCG pastor's wife. There was no pretention about her neither did She exude or go about with this "holier-than-thou attitude. She was simple yet divine. It was my first time of seeing or even meeting her and I was impressed. I had walked up to her for networking purposes and ofcourse she was impressed with my resume(who wouldnt be impressed with my Einstein self?...lol). " I can't design a website but I can assist generate content and drive publicity", I told her. "that's very kind of you and your expertise is duly appreciated", she replied but could you discuss it with....She replied pointing to her assistant after discussing a few of the ideas with me "cos my hands are full right now and I might forget". If it were four years ago, I would blown my top! how dare she push me to someonelse! But I've grown rather matured over the years. This is a woman that knew where to draw the line and not bite what she could not chew. With quiet respect, she did not pretend or coat her words but simply told the truth. Women are natural multi-taskers. we juggle family with work and all other what-nots, not complaining while gently whittling away. In a bid to please everyone we take on chores upon chores without delegating responsibilities either for fear of hurting people if we refuse or simply because we have super-human abilities. But the truth is us women are not SUPER HUMAN!!! we get overwhelmed and tired like others. Ironically, we end up hurting the people we are trying to help when the desired or expected goal is not achieved. Moreso,saying yes to too many activities or responsibilities can be physically and emotionally depleting. Buttom line,know your strength/limitations and its okay to let others take over for a while. This will help ease stress..!!!
Sometimes as a single mum, I take Josh to his nanny while i enjoy an occassional Josh-free day or holiday. Desiring a bit more space for myself does not make me a selfish or bad mum. I've realised its either that much needed break or I'll end up in the madhouse!!! so for the sake of my sanity and the benefit of humanity its ok to draw the line instead of pushing mysel to breaking points and thereby destroying valuable relationships. Like my darling Mrs Oke told me "My hands are full". And I appreciate her sincerety and wish more more women can learn a thing or two from that simple yet loaded statement.

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