Sunday, 25 July 2010

The bliss of silence

I layed on my bed, battered bruised and broken. My arm ached but the pain was more emotional as i stared at my amputed fingers. I was glad to be alive but saddened by the death of my friend and 60 + others who died in that tragic accident. while relishing my second chance at life, in came my aunty's friend wailing in a loud voice that would draw the envy of any professional mourner. all was going well until she said in a righteous voice that the occupants of the bus were either not christians or did not pray before embarking on that fateful journey and she ranted on and on in her christianese voice........! It took all my will power not to bash her across the head with my bed side pan not to mention my beloved aunty making faces at me to be quiet. Her words were insensitive, wicked and unkind. Among the people that died in that accident were two pastors going to Lagos for a conference.Even if I did not pray,what about them? Anyway,this happened in 2003. In 2005, i later learnt the lady came down with an unknown disease. I begged my aunty to give me her address so i could go and tell her that she was either not a christian or did not pray that's why she fell ill.
Sounds like the story of Job and his friends doesn't it? but the truth is there are times silence is just golden especially when comforting someone going through tragedy or loss. All was well with Job and his friends until they opened their mouths. Most times a simple hug or companionship is all the hurting person needs not grand words that turn out to be grand trash. Imagine consoling a woman who just lost a baby after years of waiting with "the lord giveth and the lord taketh". Ofcourse the person is right but to the grieving mother those words are not apt at all! I sought advice from a pastor 3 years ago whose words condemed rather than empathise,encourage or heal. Ofcourse there is a place of admonition in councelling it shldnt be condemnation. No man or woman is infallible. Years later,he had issues in his marriage( i'm not gloating just wondering was he not a praying person or what happened).
Silence or quietness is not a sign of weakness as most people think but rather an epitome of strength and dignity. It takes great restraint to hold ones emotions or words in check. If you check talkative people always land themselves in trouble. I am naturally a loud person but it took years Of discipline and maturity to just be quiet and let others take the floor. Because everyone describes you as funny doesnt mean they appreciate your joke at every given chance PULEEEEEEEASE!
Weigh the situation, punder over your words before you spew them and if unsure simply shush!!! your silence might just be the bliss required to make the difference

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