The Fault in our Stars.

The title of this post is based on a movie about two teens, Hazel and Augustus who both have different cancer conditions. They met at a cancer support group and their journey of love follows the complexity of living a full life within a short time. Truth is, I have not watched the movie yet but was deeply moved by its promotional clip. The part that caught my attention was when Hazel asked Augustus why he was staring at her. He gave a simple yet profound answer "because you are beautiful".According to the world standard, there is nothing pretty about a girl living with cancer and logging around an oxygen tank to help her breath. But Augustus saw beyond Hazel's challenges and only focused on the beautiful woman trapped within that broken shell. Never mind that Augustus was broken Himself. Knowing his own "brokenness" he connected with Hazel's "brokenness". The cancer was the bridge that brought them together. He did not judge her or condemn her but empathised with her suffering because he was suffering too. He understood her pain, weakness and frailties.

Photo credit IMDB.com

In  a particular scene in Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar, the noble man Cassius says to Brutus  "the fault dear Brutus is not in our stars but in ourselves".
We live in a broken world with broken people who deny their brokenness but go about hurting people while hurting themselves.  The world is filled with hurting people trying to heal others when they require healing themselves.These ones end up doing more harm than good "you hypocrite,first take the plank out of your own eyes and then you will see clearly to remove the speck in your brother's eyes" Matthew 7:5 .
The thing is we've all got something in our "eyes". Nobody has perfect vision that is why every man is a work in progress as we journey to perfection.

Freedigitalphotos.net

I sometimes attend a support group for parents with special needs kids in my area. The aim of the group is for parents to glean from each others experiences and encourage one another. At the meetings we don't laugh at each other but laugh together, bonded by our challenges though some more trying than others. It would be foolhardy to laugh at others when my life aint so perfect itself.
Our challenges might be different but everyone has got an issue whether speck size or plank size. Instead of laughing at others, show understanding!
The fault in our stars is that we spend too much time time judging others instead of empathizing, showing compassion and offering  a helping hand.

Freedigital photos.net

That's why I adore Jesus. He did not come to judge the world but save. John 12:47. He had every right to condemn but he didn't.
Relationships will augur well if people love more and judge less. The fault is not with our stars but in us.Too many broken people acting all put together but broken nevertheless.  We are broken people desperately in need of a saviour. Thank God we may be imperfect but we serve a perfect God who makes all things beautiful in His time.

Choose HAPPY.

No, the lady in the first picture is not me. I wish!

The next picture looks more like it..lol.

The battle of the flabs is taking too long abi? I get frustrated sometimes too.

In a bid to shift the belly flab, I went for my normal exercise this morning. Exercise for the body, music for the soul remember? At least according to my Physical Education teacher back in secondary school. I was so engrossed putting one leg after the other that I did not notice the man on the bicycle until he shouted a boisterous greeting that startled me. He rode away barely missing a stride while I mumbled a response in return. With a smile, he busted into an Irish melody and whistled away oblivious to the cold weather.

Many things came to my mind as I continued my walk and top on the list was the whistling stranger.  His high spirits did not match his appearance. He looked very unkempt with very shaggy beards and somewhat dirty clothings. It wasn't a work-dirty look, more like a lack-dirty-look. There was nothing about him to even suggest "secret millionaire", I would have known(I have an inbuilt raider for these things..lol)

He was singing this very catchy lively song but his circumstances was contrary. It didn't matter that the weather was cold and nippy, my new friend chose happy over dreary. He could have chosen to be morose despairing on whatever was wrong with his life but instead he chose to enjoy the day and spread his joy by shouting a warm greeting to a strange woman battling to shed her belly fat. 

This strange encounter reminds me of what scripture says about happiness. It is devoid of the circumstances around us whether good or bad but founded on the truth of God's Word "Whoever trusts in the lord, happy is he"Proverbs 16:20.

 

If happiness was determined by circumstances and stuffs, what poor fellows we are indeed. For such people life will be frustrating because circumstances change. "weeping may last for a night but joy comes with the morning" psalm 30:5. Basing your joy on transient situations is an unstable way to live. So instead of wallowing on what you have or don't have, the storms that are raging in your life, the situations you may not be able to handle at the moment, chose Happy.

I finished my walk with a new bounce to my feet grateful to be alive belly fat or not. Instead of complaining I am spurred to LIVE HAPPY.

Vengeance is the Lord's

Kate and Janet were arguing over nothing but it was nothing that suddenly turned into something nasty. Everything just spiralled out of control with both parties shouting obscenities and threatening fire and brimstones at each other. Eventually the two "tigresses" were separated but not without the final heated parting shots and snapping of fingers. No fight is complete in down town "Abule Ijesha" without the requisite snapping of fingers. Its a gesture which means "this is not over yet", "I'll get back at you".(wonder how anybody that grew in that environment turned out right..lol)

It's a wounded party telling the other "I'LL BE BACK".

The snapping of fingers after a fight implies a threat to hurt the person who has inflicted the hurt. Its a call for retribution or vengeance.
vengeance seems like a plausible response to a hurt. It suggests that when someone hurts you, you should give them their just dessert. In fact the concept of vengeance is so popular that it was running theme in most Asian movies back in the days. For instance, child witnesses the murder of his parents and grows to kill the murderers. The offended party is so wrapped up in seeking vengeance that nothing else matters! Vengeance becomes a consuming virus that drives the person until the goal is achieved.

www.clangnuts.blogspot.com

 We've all been hurt by others and hopefully not as much as depicted in the fictional movie Kill Bill (the movie is one of my all time favourite) but we all have a choice on how to respond to other people's abominable behaviours.

 David was no stranger to hurt. His life was constantly under threat so much he had a bounty placed on his head by Saul. However, when David got an opportunity to inflict hurt on his enemy he bowed out. Instead of killing his oppressor, he spared Saul's life. Read 1 Samuel 24. The natural inclination would have been to kill his enemy but David didn't. David's action is a precursor of what Jesus did on the cross of Calvary-extend forgiveness to God's enemies.
I am no stranger to hurts and betrayal but there is no room in my life for anger, bitterness, strife or retaliation (it has absolutely nothing to do with fact that I will be beaten to a pulp by the smallest opponent...I NO FIT FIGHT BIKO).

Life is too short to be consumed by negative emotions. Its a waste of energy. Your part in any toxic situation is to forgive and let God deal with the rest. Let God fight your battles. He is better equipped.
 

"Knowledge is power" An Ebola Survivor's story

EDITOR'S NOTE: The Ebola pandemic ravaging parts of Africa is cause for great concern even for the international community as a result of global travel. In countries like Liberia, thousands of lives have been lost without semblance of hope in sight. The trail of death is likened to the effect of biological warfare-devastating and horrific! In the midst of these trying news, it is with elation that news of someone surviving the horrors of these disease hits the news. I read with joy the story of Dr. Ada Igonoh one of the doctors that had contact with the late Patrick Sawyer(the first identified case of Ebola in Nigeria) and her survival story. Aside from the many reasons she highlighted, Dr.Igonoh narrated how she researched the Ebola disease even more after her diagnoses further enhancing her chances of survival. She did not depend solely on the doctors but helped herself by getting information on the disease. Information is liberating and knowledge is power. "my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" Hosea 4:6.  
The story is told of a man in the 1900 who went on a cruse from England to America. He never ate on board the ship throughout the trip as he though the ticket only covered his travel but not the meals. The "poor" man brought his own food for the long journey. At the end of the trip, the Captain asked why they never saw him at meal times. The man explained his reason to the Captain. The Captain replied, "sir, the ticket included all the meals as well". I'm sure the man felt stupid  but it was no one's fault but his!! There is no bliss in ignorance.  Beyond what you learn in church, dust the cobwebs off your bible and study.

picture courtesy Miss Pitite Nigeria blogspot.

Be inspired by Dr. Ada's story. Read more

Handle With Care

The more I brushed my Ombre human hair weave, the more it shed.  I'd spent quite a bit of money to buy the weave so you can imagine my annoyance at the strands of hair that came off with every brush stroke. According to the manufacturer's specification, I will experience little or no shedding but the strand's of hair in my bathroom sink and sometimes food says otherwise. I was about to draft a strongly worded letter of complaints to the manufacturer but decided at the last minute to re-read the hair care instruction. I realised certain things I'd been doing wrong. 1. I'd been been using a brush with hard bristles instead of the recommended soft bristles. 2. No matter how expensive the hair or "human" it seems, it is not my original hair . My hair extensions have undergone a series of processing so requires a more delicate care than my natural hair, hence the shedding. *Lesson to self-always read instruction manual thoroughly*

I have experienced enough brokenness like some of you reading this post to recognise a "broken" person when I meet one. With my little experience, I have learnt never to box people together. People are products of different experiences and environment so require a more dynamic method of approach. It is downright wrong to treat a child from an abusive home with the same gloves as a child with a somewhat more balanced home structure. Broken and hurting people are vulnerable and quite easily exploited or susceptible to more abuse. That is why for some unfathomable reason  abused people tend to seek abusive relationships. It is just not normal! Jesus gives the perfect example on how to deal with hurting people. "to the weak, I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some" 1 Corinthians 9:22. Jesus understood the dynamics of dealing with broken people and lived accordingly. When the sick were brought to him he showed compassion "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd".  Jesus was moved with the desire to relieve the suffering of the hurting not break them some more.  "a bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out" Matthew 12:20  but he was much firm with the overbearing Pharisees. What most hurting need is empathy and not condemnation. Imagine going for counselling and leaving more damaged than when you got there. Frustrating isn't?  That my friend is not the purpose of the church but to offer hope to a dying world. Like my "human hair" God did not create the world broken. The present status quo is a consequence of sin but there is hope yet. No matter how much, you deny it, broken people like new born babes need  gentle care.

Next time you meet a hurting person, please handle with care don't be brash, selfish or uncaring.  Take a bit more time with that person and don't be afraid to offer a helping hand, it may well be you needing encouragement tomorrow.
P.S. Got myself a brush with softer bristles coupled with additional moisturising and plenty palaver  and the shedding has reduced drastically. Thank God!!

My Little Red Jacket

The only thing permanent in life is CHANGE-so the saying goes! Already signs of winter is rife in the air. The gentle cool breeze in the evenings is a sure evidence of the coming of the cold nights. Not so long ago, the weather was warm and the summer heat unbearable yet enjoyable. Alas the summer sun is desperately struggling to shine through the clouds while we beg for to it abide a little longer. Even the sounds of the ice cream van is fast becoming a distant memory. Reluctantly, the winter jumpers are finding their way from the back of the closet to a handy reach and the fire places are being lit to give extra warmth in the evenings.  Oh where did the summer go!! how fast the time slide like sand between the fingers!!
In  a little while the trees will shed their luscious green leaves and bear the brunt of the winter cold. However, winter does not have to be dismal neither should it sound the death knell of joy, spontaneous laughter, endless fun and feeling of camaraderie among people. A winter jacket is a staple for everyone living in cold prone regions. It is as essential as food. Most people during the cold season prefer black coloured coats because it creates more warmth but not me. Three years ago, I bought a beautiful red jacket which reminds me of the one worn  in the movie Red Riding hood-you can't help but notice (seriously, I think I was mistaken for Mrs Clause twice..lol).

picture courtesy jay-elx.blogspot.com  

My red jacket stands out in the crowd and draws attention even without my wanting it. It is bold, radiant, captivating and I say it also enhances my good features..lol.  Black is bland, despite its functionality it is not exciting. It blends in with the crowd but that's not what we are called to do as children of God. We are called to be different.
Like the season, challenges come and go but you have a choice to either be swallowed up in the darkness or stand out with a can-do attitude of praise. Praise is hard in moments of difficulty but most times its the only way up. Praise changes your perspective in a dreary situation and focuses on a mighty God-IT'S AN OPEN INVITE TO HEAVEN'S BEST. IT'S AN EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE. Remember, "weeping may endure fore a night but joy cometh in the morning" Psalm 30:5. 
I don't know the trying challenges that you are facing but know that help is just a heartful of praise away. 
"Do not be afraid, you wild animals, for the pastures in the wilderness are becoming green. The trees are bearing their fruit; the fig tree and the vine yield their riches". Joel 2:22..

The day I prayed in Yoruba

It was an unusual kind of day. For some inexplicable reason I woke up cranky, sad and very much upset. There was no obvious reason for my foul mood as I'd gone to bed the previous night happy and ready to conquer whatever the dawn would bring in its wake. But I woke up defeated and angry at the world and at myself-angry at where I was and how I'd stupidly allowed myself to be browbeaten by life. Before the dark thoughts could overwhelm and totally ruin my day, I rolled onto my knees and prayed. The words that rolled out of my tongue were not the grand words that I was used to but the heartfelt cry of a little girl that I'd lost her way. As I poured my heart out, I realised I was praying in a not so familiar language. Not so familiar because I use the language to converse but never actually pray. You see, I was born in a Yoruba speaking part of Nigeria but I'm not a Yoruba girl by origin. To make matters more interesting, I was born in the not so much posh side of town so I know how to get down and dirty in the language. I can read, write and rap freestyle in the language. That day years back, the only interesting and fascinating thing I was doing in Yoruba was pouring my feelings at the feet of the one who loves and cares for me, in a language dear to me. Despite all my claim to Western education, the deep part of me is still that small Yoruba speaking girl and it was that little girl that reached out to the Master's feet after all the bible says "Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me" Psalm 42:7. In order to experience a deeper intimacy with God, there was no room that morning for excessive grammar or pretence before the one who knew me even before creation "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee; I have appointed thee a prophet unto the nations" Jeremiah 1:5 Hannah in the book of 1 Samuel definitely understands my position. She found herself in the temple brow beaten by barreness and humiliated by her husband's other woman. When she opened her mouth to pray, no audible word came forth only a heartfelt mumble that only God understood. Many times in the place of prayer words will fail but thank God for the HOLY SPIRIT. "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" Romans 8:26-27 "Intimacy with God is found in the realm of the spirit" BENNY HINN. It is a place of perfect communion and fellowship with God-no barriers or hindrances only easy and free access to the almighty." it is at times like this that words become inadequate because spoken words are the expression of the mind and not the soul. Words cease and you stop asking. Only your heart can speak as it erupts in worship". It is a heartfelt, deep level cry, communication and fellowship..TOTALLY AWESOME. That morning, I got on my knees broken but when the Yoruba little girl in me cried out, I rose up strengthened and my countenance brightened. I love that little girl in me , she is the reason I still smile through it all. P. S, THE CELEBRITY BABY PICTURE IS MY DARLING PRINCESS JANIS OBONNA..IS'NT SHE GORGEOUS....AND THAT MY FRIENDS AIN'T A QUESTION!

It's in the seed

Editor's Note: Every great idea starts as a seed but with immense potentials. Ironically, a seed can be easily despised and ignored because of its size and appearance. I am sure there are many seed ideas that you have lying idle in your mind. I read this interesting post that challenged and has inspired me. it is written by Dr Temi Odejide. Read and be mindful of that seed in your hand. ‘…a mustard seed… is smaller than all the seeds on earth… it grows up and becomes greater than all...’ – Mark 4:30-32 It may start small but it will become great. The great tree does not start out as a great tree but as a tiny seed. Everything starts as a seed. Never despise a seed because you do not know what that seed will become. Don’t look down on the seed. A seed speaks of potential. Potential is not what you have already done but what you could do. But a seed is a seed someone said. No Sir, a seed is not just a seed. Locked in a seed is untold potential and infinite possibilities. God always starts with a seed. God starts small. Despise not small beginnings. ‘Though your beginning was small, yet your latter end will greatly increase.’– Job 8:7 ‘Oh, that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end.’– Deut. 32:29 When you plant the Chinese bamboo seed. It quickly sprouts from the ground but stays the same for four long years. Then in the fifth year it grows 3 feet per day till it reaches 90 feet tall. That is exponential growth! Sometimes your life can be like the Chinese bamboo tree but your growth is coming. So protect your seed. What is your seed? Your seed is your potential. Your seed is your product. Your seed is your jar of oil. Your seed is your gift. Your seed is your five fish and two loaves. Your seed is your competence. Your seed is your five stones and sling shot Your seed is your skill. Your seed is your staff in your hand Your seed is your talent. Your seed is your influence. But before you can unlock the potential in your seed it must go through a process. Today, re-evaluate the value of your seed. Tomorrow we’ll start discussing the process of the seed. Website: www.temiodejide.com Twitter: @ptemi1 BB: 2AFD5509 FB: facebook.com/temi.odejide

Smile #hotchocolateforcoldmornings#

There is something about food that makes me happy. Serve me a bowl of any edible, tantalising and finger licking delicacy and I'll be smiling like the cat that got cream..lol. I LOVE FOOD. But there are days that even the best cooked meal will fail to lift the corner of my eyes or touch my heart? You see sometimes the last thing you feel like doing is smiling. Do you feel like crawling into a corner and bawling your eyes out right now? Go on, give it a good go! Crying serves its purpose, therapeutic and all but when you are done give that challenge a kick in the backside by smiling like the whole world depended on it. I have learnt to smile irrespective of the situation around me. I'm not talking about that false smile that people have somewhat mastered that comes out lifeless. I'm talking full on MEGAWATTS that comes from a point of knowing IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. David understood this principle that is why some of his psalms might start out sad and defeated but his countenance would suddenly brighten and so does his situation. He knew God is never far. Just like praise, your smile confuses the enemy and brings a ray a of sunshine into an otherwise darkened situation. You can't offer praise to God and be gloomy. You may start out sad but I bet when you get midway recounting the awesomeness of God, His faithfulness and goodness, you wont be able to stop that upside down frown turning ride side up (seriously smiling myself now). Just as Praise changes your perspective, a smile brightens up an otherwise harsh countenance. People that smile make better companions, are approachable and pleasant to be around. I have certain friends that I love being around because they have a way of lighting up and making others smile, I call them LIGHTBEARERS. You may feel there is no obvious reason to smile but you are never without hope. Keep smiling in the midst of it all and watch God show up on your behalf. Moreover, your smile matters to somebody and YOU ARE SOMEBODY'S REASON TO SMILE. My friend's mum once said watching me eat gladdens her heart..lol. Try it today, ITS FREE, ITS FREE and it has the capacity to transform just about anyone except Mr Burns in THE SIMPSONS ..lol

Surviving "Gary" moments #Hotchocolateforcoldmornings

Many times the past could look appealing especially when the present is less than attractive. Most people find themselves craving for lost opportunities, relationships and experiences as a way to make up for today's failings. Why do you think Hollywood has refused to grow old? Many men and women would gladly undergo painful cosmetic procedures as a desperate measure to hold on to their youthfulness and perceived positions in society. Unfortunately, It is called "the past" for a reason. It is a representation of what is behind while the future looks ahead-a sea of new frontiers waiting to be explored. Most experiences that are in the past belong there for a purpose. It is so you can look forward and press into the future. While the past can not be totally ignored, it is only relevant as a stepping stone into the future. Ironically, when most people look into the past it is unfortunately with rose tinted glasses;an abusive past relationship suddenly becomes appealing because "Mr husband is falling short in his responsibility-GET A GRIP AND GET REAL. In the movie "The World's End" an alcoholic Gary King (Simon Pegg) is a middle aged man who makes a sojourn back to the past to relive an experience that ended up in epic disastrous proportions. His present situation was unappealing and that singular unfinished business in his past kept him captive and crippled in the present. While he was stuck in that moment 20 years ago, his friends had moved on and built a life for themselves but Gary relived their mad adventures differently and described it as the best moment of his life. I've had "Gary" moments too,occasions when I've craved relationships or things from the past that ended up with disastrous consequences. The secret is knowing when a door is well and truly shut and finding grace to move on. Good byes are hard to say but have to be said. When God closes a door behind you,it is for a purpose. However because of man's limited vision, he struggles to pull the door back open because of a crippling fear of the unknown and familiarity with the past. "when I was" is a phrase I've had a lot among some friends lately. I respectfully acknowledge, you were the best footballer in your youth but its time to move on. memories are reference points and should not be dark clouds over the future. You won't know the joy of a new day until you dare to face it headlong. The future might look scary but its a box of surprise waiting to be explored but you'll never know until you dare to open it. Let go of the past, its time to move on.

Dealing With Anxiety #hotchocolateforcoldmornings

Today's hot chocolate for cold morning will be dealing with anxiety. I was a worrier like Martha in Luke 10:38-42, easily distracted and desiring everything to be picture perfect. Unfortunately,things don't normally turn out as envisaged-relationships get broken, people get hurt, betrayed and food get burnt...lol. Worrying never changes anything rather makes things worse. In trying to get things done, people get stepped on and saddest of all you miss out on the greatest opportunity in life. In the case of Martha, she was busy trying to create the perfect atmosphere for Jesus so much that she almost missed out on the greatest moment which was "to be and learn" at the feet of Jesus unlike her sister Mary "Martha, Martha", the Lord answered, " are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her". Anxiety stressfully puts at the fore what should be at the latter. It is trying to control everything within and outside your sphere of influence. Anxiety occurs when man tries to pay God. Ever seen a rocking chair? Well worry is like sitting on a rocking chair and having some semblance of motion but not really going anywhere! Sadly,when you act out in anxiety or worry you ultimately make wrong decisions. Great decisions are never made in anxious moments (Go watch Men in Black III-Will Smith's partner refused to make a life altering decision till he had eaten a calming bowl of pie and it worked ...lol). Some years ago I found myself practically tied up in knots over some issues I had no obvious control over. My seeming helplessness made me very unhappy and frustrated. That night, I called up a dear friend and she gave me this advice that I'm going to share with you. Her advice was that I take life "ONE DAY AT A TIME" . You see anxiety is worrying about the challenges of tomorrow and the bible rightly says "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:24. its like worrying about dinner when you've not eaten breakfast. That sounds foolish put like that doesn't it? but we find ourselves acting foolishly most times despite our best intentions. What do you do when anxious thoughts come knocking? Scripture says "cast your cares upon the lord and He'll give you rest. What a great pleasure for the soul when it knows someone else is handling its problem. Moreover, worrying causes premature wrinkles and is the major cause of heart related problems. kindly give those anxious thought s a rest-LET GO AND LET GOD

It's a WOW day

Yippeee! It's a beautiful day! The sun is shinning and nature is ablaze with myriads of colours purple, orange, blue with splashes of green. Its absolutely gorgeous!! Every person I met during my morning walk had a huge smile on their faces and were eager to say "hello" too unlike many other days. It felt like God had poured out bucket loads of rainbow to transform every soul even the crankiest of them all. Even I had a bounce in my steps which had been missing for some days!! Its ironic to think the past few weeks had been clouded with sporadic rainfall and cold spells; everyone as usual huddled in massive jackets and faces hidden under warm woollen hats. The long winter nights seemed long and endless. We all wondered if summer would ever come or If we would ever rid of the cold weather. The winter wasn't as bad as previous years but it had been cold nonetheless. Compared to other countries Ireland faired very well and bravely. Today, the story has changed . The sun is shining and gone are the boring jackets and woollen hats. Isn't that the same with life? One day you are at world's and suddenly its bright and sunny again. It suddenly seems the bad days never happened. It's fair to say "tough times don't last but tough people do". Man is built to survive arduous situations but not alone. Scriptures says "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me" psalm 23:4. Challenges are Shadows, they will vanish no matter how long they trail you around; you are not alone in the situation; the rod of God never causes pain only brings comfort. AMAZING!! The long endless cold has gone albeit for a season but for now the sun is out lets all enjoy the beautiful weather. Remember "sorrow may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning" Psalm 30:5. Today is a beautiful day, pack on the sunscreen and lets have A WOW DAY.#UNLEASHTHEBIKINI (IN MY CASE DON'T..LOL)

What To Do When Your Rooster Crows by Sharon Jaynes

Have you ever been riddled with guilt? When it seems errors of the past just keep pushing themselves back in your face or maybe its people that won't let you forget your mistakes. A broken relationship and an unwanted pregnancy could be reminders of bad choices made in the heat of passion. A bounced cheque or an account in the red can also push the feeling of guilt to the fore. We've all been there and more so Peter, the most brash amongst Jesus' disciple. He denied Jesus not once but thrice and had a rooster remind him of his folly. When the mighty fall, they do fall with a big bang and the devil is always right behind them to constantly remind them of their errors. But Peter's story did not end with his error-no sire! The story gets interesting. I read this article by one of my favourite writers and I'm sure it'll inspire you too. P.S. I'm truly sorry for my long absence would make it up to you. Thanks for still visiting. You can follow Sharon on www.sharonjaynes.com. She is amazing. I sat on my back porch, wrapped in my fuzzy worn robe—the one that’s twenty years old that I just can’t seem to get rid of. The birch trees waved “good morning,” and the newly planted gerbera daisies stretched their faces to the sun…just a bit higher than the day before. Then I heard him. The rooster. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I’m not sure where he lives, but it’s within earshot. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I thought of Peter. I thought of me. I thought of you. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know the story. At the dinner table, on the night before Jesus went to the cross, he said to Peter: “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death with you.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” (Luke 22:31) A few hours later, Peter did just that. Denied that he even knew Jesus. Three times. And then the rooster crowed. ER-er-ER-er ERRRR. “And he went outside and wept bitterly.” He cried and cried and cried. (I’ve messed up big time and cried and cried and cried before. Have you?) The next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next, and the next, and the next. With every squawk of the bird. A fresh reminder. First thing in the morning. Have you ever been there? I have. I have failed. And I have remembered…the rooster crowed. And even though I had asked for forgiveness, and I knew that God HAD forgiven me, the rooster crowed in my heart, and I remembered my failure anew. What did Jesus have to say about Peter’s failure? Three strikes, you’re out? Not hardly. After his resurrection, Jesus pulled Peter aside… “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” Jesus removed the shroud of shame hanging from Peter’s guilt weary shoulders, and called him to get back to the ministry to which he was called. God’s forgiveness is always complete, total, and comprehensive. “If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]“ (1 John 1:9 AMP). However, the accuser continues to crow—reminding us our past sins and failures. He tries to drown out the song of grace with the caw of shame. He crows. We remember. Perhaps even weep with Peter behind the wall. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know what I’ve decided? Rooster makes a fine meal. Let’s ring the rooster’s neck and cook him up once and for all. Don’t let the enemy accuse you of what God has already forgiven you of? Don’t let him fool you into thinking that the cross wasn’t enough. “Daughter, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord, you know that I do.” I wonder what went through Peter’s mind the next time he heard the rooster crow. I think he smiled and thought of God’s amazing grace. That’s what I’m going to do tomorrow when I hear that rooster crow. What about you? The next time the devil reminds you of all the times you’ve failed, will you stand with me and answer the caw of shame with the song of grace? If so, leave a comment that says, “Thank God, I’m forgiven and free!”

He Never Left Afterall

Not me silly.....Jesus! I've been on hiatus for the past 5 months and that my friend is a very very long story. I promise to keep you updated on the adventures I've been through, the lessons I've learnt and how grown up I've become. Truth be said, I've been a bad friend but guess what I'm back and I'm going nowhere. Unlike my now humble self, Jesus never leaves His friends no matter the situation-NO EXCUSES! He sticks closer than glue. If there is a person that sticks closer than a brother according to Proverbs 18:24 that person dear friend is Jesus. When Jesus is on your case, HE IS ON YOUR CASE! Remember my last post titled HE CAME BACK? How Thomas thought he'd missed out on one of the greatest experiences in his life? I'm sure he would have loathed the other disciples for boasting about how the master broke through their fear riddled hearts and sealed doors to show his nail pierced hands cos I'm sure I would have hated them all especially that Peter lol! Thomas must have blamed himself for breaking rank and stepping out for a breather only to miss Jesus' appearance. Sound familiar? It does to me! I've lost count of the number of times a seemingly innocent action becomes an overblown misadventure that leaves one reeling, struggling to find balance and wondering if you'll ever get another chance in life or in love. Some actions or inactions or effects of poor choices might make you wonder if you'll ever smile again, achieve desired goals again or if you'll ever find your niche again? Guess what? YES YOU CAN! The other disciples thought Thomas had missed out on that great appearance even Thomas despite his outward show of bravado thought he'd missed out but he inwardly craved His master’s re-visitation just like you and I. John 20:26 states that “A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them". Thomas stayed in the locked room this time hoping Jesus would visit again. Every person that at one point has been broken wants to be whole again.

My friend, Jesus never disappoints as he actually came back into that hope filled room and attended to one person's inner cry for a re- visitation. I love Jesus's conversation with Thomas "Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe". Imagine the surprise on Thomas's face because Christ wasn't there when he made that statement he thought. That's the shocker dear friend; Jesus is ALWAYS WITH YOU, watching out for you even in seemingly hopeless situations. He has promised never to leave nor forsake you and HE KEEPS HIS WORDS. Although he did not come immediately and poor Thomas must have whimpered like a child but HE SHOWED up as He always does and He will for you too. JUST STAY IN THAT ROOM.

Battlefield of the Mind

I use to think God had forgotten me or maybe I wasn't even on His to do list. I would look at certain situations I'd gone through and question if God was fair. Challenges does that you know. The mind gets so messed up that a positive outlook seems like an over stretched ideal. I read a story on UCB devotional on how elephants are trained "They did it by controlling the animal’s thinking. When a baby elephant was being trained, a rope was put around its leg and then tied to a wooden post secured in the ground. The elephant, which was not yet very strong, pulled at the rope but was unable to break it or to pull up the post. Eventually it gave up. From that point forward when the elephant’s leg was secured it believed it couldn’t get away—even though it was fully capable of escaping, and had been for a long time. It remembered its struggle". The rope tied to the elephant's feet over time conditioned its mind that it would forever be in bondage. A person that has suffered abuse and rejection in life comes to expect these in life. Infact most women that experience abuse, almost always go into destructive relationships that depletes them; until they get the intervention they need. The first place that failure hits is a person's self worth. You feel useless and unworthy of love. The person starts to feel they deserve to be hurt and sometimes unconsciouly seek out pain. They even reject love when it comes knocking. After experiencing pain for so long, I became suspicious of love and feared rejection. I allowed my past experiences to condition my present so much that I was only existing not living. I basked in fear always afraid to launch out or even take a risk. Until I broke free. You see God created us to live and not merely exist irrespective of what we've been through. Fear of failure robs a person off the opportunity to live a life of DOMINION. We are meant to kick life in the butt and determine to LIVE THE GOOD LIFE. This can only happen if we decide to enjoy everyday no matter what may come our way. Moreover, troubles don't last always "For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" "Corinthians 4:17.. In everybattle the enemy first seeks to bully the opponent into submission. This is the strategy Goliath used in intimidating the israelites before David came on the scene in 1 Samuel 17. The elephant like you and I can break free of captivity of the mind because with God all things are possible "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" 1 John 4:4. until a person avails of the weapons of warfare in the Word of God, he or she is destined to perpetual defeat. The beauty of it all is we are fighting from the winning side. isn't that amazing!!

Celebrating GOD in an usual GEM

Its amazing how situations sometimes turn out isn't? When the most unlikely circumstance ends up producing the most unusual results. Its times like these that I marvel at how God works. How He makes something beautiful from improbable sources. You just can't fully fathom the mind of God, He's simply mind boggling. With God it doesn't matter your background or your lineage or how seemingly unqualified you are.. He just wants a yielded, hungry and trusting heart. This post is inspired by a sister and a friend.

Comfort and I met in secondary and a bond was instantly struck between us. we shared a lot of interests and had the same crazy sense of humour. I was the giant beside her small frame and we somehow always got into trouble TOGETHER...more like trouble always found us and we basked in mischiefs.*sigh* those were the days. One striking feature about my darling friend was her amazing and infectous laughter. Comfort could laugh at everything and anything. Her brown eyes were always lit up with a hint of a smile waiting to burst forth into laughter-most times out of control. But beneath that happy go lucky attitude, comffy as she's still fondly called had a secret that she never shared with anybody not even with her buddy. I found out over a bowl of garri(food ofcourse....the FBI should take hint) that it wasn't all rosy in paradise. Her bubbly character hid the trauma of a painful childhood without a father and a single mother struggling to provide for her children. This is not unlike how a lot of kids from less priviledged homes suffered but my friend's experience and ensuing attitute was different. Comfort would never let out whether she'd eaten before coming to school or even if she had the requisite money for lunch. it wasn' pride just a positive attitude that God blessed her with. The day she shared her challenges with me with tears in her eyes, my first reaction was that of shock. I couldn't believe that she could hide her struggles from me her best buddy!! Then my shock changed to respect. I respected her positive attitude even at that age....we were less than 15!!!. I on the other hand was never good at handling uncomfortable situations but thank God for second chances. My friend did not allow the challenges of her childhood deter her from enjoying and filling her days with laughter. With Comfort, I have come to learn NEVER to allow circumstances drive the narration of my life. Human existence is prone to challenges but we have a choice to either let the prevailing circumstances make or break us. Comfort chose to allow her childhood drive her to God and success. If you've experienced pain and poverty, you wouldn't want any relationship with them, serious! She never became bitter or was embittered by her parents poor choices. I was in Nigeria on holiday last year and had a reunion with my dear friend. I was sincerely amazed at how far she'd come. Sitting opposite me was a beautiful woman with no trace of the trauma of her childhood; all gone, transformed and helped with the grace of a loving God with children of her own. Comfort is a success in all sphere with a career, a loving family and an unquenchable fire for God. I celebrate you comffy as you mark another birthday and I'm so proud of you. Your life inspires me on how God can make something out of nothing. If only we believe and let Him more often than we do. God does make something beautiful from the dust and COMFORT IS A LIVING TESTIMONY. .....and yes even after all these years, she still laughs crazy. Thanks for letting me share your story.

Celebrate what?

It was *Nonye's* birthday and we were determined to paint the town red. Surprisingly, the five ladies crammed into the car were all single mums. As Nonye jokingly said "Ireland is a haven for single mums" and we all laughingly agreed but that is an issue for another day. I don't get to go out much often so was determined to milk this night for all it was worth(the venue for the night's escapade yet unknown as Nonye was keeping it as a closely guarded secret-her way of heightening the suspence and thrill of the day). As the car angled slowly to Drogheda I noticed a slight frown on the celebrant's face. "What is the matter", I asked through the din of the other ladies conversation and burst of sporadic laughter. "My dad called me today to wish me a happy birthday", she answered. "So", I said. "After the usual plesantries, he told me to go ahead and celebrate if there is anything worth celebrating. I find that statement kind of strange and upsetting" she continued with a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "hmmmm", I mused for a while. Nonye was a single mum and has lived abroad for 10 years without the requisite resident permit. Thirty years old, no husband in sight, unemployed and with tightened immigration policies, her situation looked dismal from any onlookers perspective. "your father meant no harm", I told her. "even the bible says "teach us to number our days,That we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12). " Its his way of telling you to review your life. so pucker up gal", I adviced and gently punched her in the sides.

As I celebrate my birthday, I reminisce on that night five years. Why do I celebrate? I'm a single mum with a disability, unemployed,etc.So what is there to celebrate? I came into Ireland years ago a broken, sad, lonely pregnant woman. All my life's dream and aspiration had crashed around me. A friend once said "it was a relationship that ended not my life" but for me that rejection tipped me over the edge. I'd been through a lot of abuse growing up, my fragile emotions had taken its fair share of bashing and couldn't take anymore. I forgot how to smile and couldnt find joy in my child. I even lost my sense of humour and forgot how to be sexy(a whole Don Mama G became a recluse, an unsexy one at that) The challenges of life became too much but I was too much of a coward to end it all or rather something deep within me knew my little boy needed his mummy and that thought kept me going. Waking up and going through the motion of living became the order of my life. I was no longer living but EXISTING until JESUS FOUND AND RESCUED ME.....AGAIN. Since then, its been a slow recovery process-leaning and trusting the lord every step of the way....like a recovering alcoholic, there's no rushing the detox. I've got my self confidence back and I'm proud of how far I've come. I may not have the "usual trappings" neither do I lack basic necessities. Along the way, I've equipped myself with skills to make a difference to my generation so I am not lazy. The future is beautiful and no longer bleak-I SEE CLEARLY. I know my worth! The bible says I'm Priceless. So what do I celebrate? EVERYTHING! RENEWED HOPE AND A FUTURE ENGRAVED IN CHRIST. No man can take that from me. I wrote on my Facebook profile that I found my very first grey hair this morning but I wasn't bothered. I call it my WISDOM HAIR as I have officially joined THE EXTRAORDINARY LEAGUE OF WISE PEOPLE. I am so blessed by your good will greetings and love. DHL has never been this innaundated with parcels before(by faith) but keep it coming till Dec 31st 2013 i'll still be collecting gifts-real estate inclusive. Monetary gifts accepted Euros, pounds , dollars even naira(but in millions. explain to EFFCC that its a gift and not money laundering!!). With this level of love, guess its time to contest election both in Nigeria and Ireland. Love y'all

A New Beginning

Hurray 2013 is here!! It seemed far away but finally it is here. This is despite the rumours of the world coming to an end in 2012 (no thanks to that epic disaster movie aptly titled 2012, a film about the world coming to an end at that particular year! Thank God it didn't end because poor me did not have any food in storage ahead of the "anticipated" volcanic eruption, ice age, flooding, earthquake, alien invasion etc. hmmm, I'm sure hunger would have gotten me first before the disasters or aliens, serious! Note to self: stock the house with ENOUGH GRUB before the next probable apocalypse or alien invasion whichever comes first).Thankfully, against the odds we survived yet again. It is something to celebrate. Experiencing the first day of a new year is so exciting as it means YOU ARE ALIVE. Alive to what? Alive to HOPE, alive to NEWNESS, alive to OPPORTUNITIES. It’s not a time to mull over past mistakes and opportunities missed but a time for a fresh start, a new beginning.Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Phil 3:15 There is something fascinating about new things. The fresh smell that accompanies a freshly purchased product, the tear-rubber feeling of a new car and the smell of new leather, no old musty or rusty smell, nothing but FRESHNESS. I LOVE NEW! That is what 2013 represents - fresh page to make happen whatsoever you desire and dream of. In Gen 1, God was presented with a blank canvas to work on. He could have left it blank but He chose to create the world and everything therein. He also had the prerogative to create anything anyhow but he had a plan, a plan he followed meticulously for six days before He rested on the seventh day. I also observed that God did not overstretch Himself but did as much work as could each day. He also made a point to commend Himself and His creation at the end of each day.Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. Gen 1:31 . In 2013, I've decided to follow heaven's strategy of creation, to make happen my desires and not leave my life to chance. There is a saying that "IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, YOU PLAN TO FAIL". I don’t want that to be my story for 2013. A lot of people including me experienced pain, tragedy, disappointment, betrayal, stagnancy, loss etc. in 2012 but that is yesterday today is a brand new day. Don't let the pain of yesterday ruin your today and the opportunities it brings. LET GO AND LET GOD. Instead of allowing Chaos to continue to reign in our lives just at it did in the beginning of the world before God took charge, this is the time to TAKE CONTROL, BE CREATIVE, EMBRACE THE NEW. I'm grateful for 2012 but expectant in 2013. Let's scale new heights together, it’s a brand new year. Lets live and not simply exist this year. WELCOME TO 2013. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

MONSTER TO MUM

"Hello, is that Joshua's mum?", the strange voice on the phone asked. It was the nice lady from my son's school. My heart pounded in my chest and I wondered what it could be this time. The past few days had been stressful.The daily reports on his school journal had been full of one complain or the other and I had literarilly had it up to my neck and didnt think I could take one more negative report. It was what I feared and worse! Joshua required urgent occupational and speech therapy which the school could not provide because it did not have access to such services. Sad isn't it? A special needs class not having vital support services because of bottlenecks in the Irish Health Services. More like lack of proper planning and execution of relevant necessary programms by the HSE.Heartbreaking!. After dropping the call with Joshy's teacher, my initial reaction was to wrap myself in a ball and cry my heart out but I didn't. No more tears from this lady. Crying helps relieve built up emotional pain but does not provide long time solution to any problem. I did what I'm learning to do in any troubling situation-TURN TO GOD. "lord", I prayed. "you heard what the lady said. Josh has speech and occupational needs. the teachers are at a loss on what to do and I don't know what to do as well". Phil 4:19 ,But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus . Only you can supply joshy's need and I trust you have". I wish I could say that after the prayers, the situation immediately disappeared. It didn't but my perspective changed. I was no longer weighed down but rather relieved! The system is limited and and can only give "this much" help. They are humans afterall and run by less than perfect humans!. The past years as Joshua's mum have been the most challenging in my life. I could handle being pregnant and alone but never bargained for autism. Do I regret the choices I made? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Though I gave up some seemingly "important" positions and opportunities at the time to have a baby, I now realise no amount of money or freedom can compare with the joy of those tiny hands wrapping themselves around me and those slushy kisses. In the early days of his diagnoses, I was understandably angry and blamed the lil lad for everything and even blamed myself. Ofcourse, the devil fed my bitterness afterall "he is the accuser of the brethen. I contantly rapped myself on the head thinking my son was "broken" because I was "broken" too! "why, why why me? I asked no one in particular but quickly learnt that beating myself up would not yield any positive result. I had to deal with the situation at hand. I've had to deal with shame and pity. I remember the times, I feared taking him out to the Mall worrying that he might throw a tantrum or let go of my hand and grab a stranger. Or the pity looks you get from parents who understood or weird looks from people who assume your child is plain unrully. How many people will you explain or apologise to? With time, that haze of bitterness and anger was removed and I now see better. As a single mum there are always challenges that are made even more challenging with a special needs child but those little hiccups are small compared with the joys of motherhood. I've had to face rejection from men who bail out the moment they realise your child's condition despite their initial profession of love(wetin eye never see). Nonetheless, in all GOD IS FAITHFUL. I admit there is still so much work to do but I celebrate every milestone we've achieved together. Joshy hasn't said any clear sound but he understands everything I say. He is also a delight to have in the kitchen probably because He knows my being in the kitchen means something yummy will emerge...lol.

Having a child has taught me how to be responsible and less selfish with my time, desires and resources.(I even learnt to bake...nothing much I admit just sausage roll but I tried..lol). His comfort tops my every agenda and I don't mind that anymore. Every child deserves to be loved and appreciated no matter the challenge or circumstances surrounding the birth. I've learnt there is more to life than a career no matter how beautiful it might seem. Though it is possible to have it all but my order of priority has changed Moreover,Autism is not a death sentence and I KNOW God will perfect the healing work that Christ died for in the life of my son. HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS WORDS. Because of you Joshy, I'm a better person. I applaud you for turning this monster into a MOTHER. You make my life so beautiful. I hear the school bus. My baby is home.