The Fault in our Stars.

The title of this post is based on a movie about two teens, Hazel and Augustus who both have different cancer conditions. They met at a cancer support group and their journey of love follows the complexity of living a full life within a short time. Truth is, I have not watched the movie yet but was deeply moved by its promotional clip. The part that caught my attention was when Hazel asked Augustus why he was staring at her. He gave a simple yet profound answer "because you are beautiful".According to the world standard, there is nothing pretty about a girl living with cancer and logging around an oxygen tank to help her breath. But Augustus saw beyond Hazel's challenges and only focused on the beautiful woman trapped within that broken shell. Never mind that Augustus was broken Himself. Knowing his own "brokenness" he connected with Hazel's "brokenness". The cancer was the bridge that brought them together. He did not judge her or condemn her but empathised with her suffering because he was suffering too. He understood her pain, weakness and frailties.

Photo credit IMDB.com

In  a particular scene in Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar, the noble man Cassius says to Brutus  "the fault dear Brutus is not in our stars but in ourselves".
We live in a broken world with broken people who deny their brokenness but go about hurting people while hurting themselves.  The world is filled with hurting people trying to heal others when they require healing themselves.These ones end up doing more harm than good "you hypocrite,first take the plank out of your own eyes and then you will see clearly to remove the speck in your brother's eyes" Matthew 7:5 .
The thing is we've all got something in our "eyes". Nobody has perfect vision that is why every man is a work in progress as we journey to perfection.

Freedigitalphotos.net

I sometimes attend a support group for parents with special needs kids in my area. The aim of the group is for parents to glean from each others experiences and encourage one another. At the meetings we don't laugh at each other but laugh together, bonded by our challenges though some more trying than others. It would be foolhardy to laugh at others when my life aint so perfect itself.
Our challenges might be different but everyone has got an issue whether speck size or plank size. Instead of laughing at others, show understanding!
The fault in our stars is that we spend too much time time judging others instead of empathizing, showing compassion and offering  a helping hand.

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That's why I adore Jesus. He did not come to judge the world but save. John 12:47. He had every right to condemn but he didn't.
Relationships will augur well if people love more and judge less. The fault is not with our stars but in us.Too many broken people acting all put together but broken nevertheless.  We are broken people desperately in need of a saviour. Thank God we may be imperfect but we serve a perfect God who makes all things beautiful in His time.

Bought At A Price

Nobody loves to loose anything especially when the object came at a price. Whatever has been purchased has more intrinsic value other than financial. It can also involve concerted physical effort, research, emotions  and time invested. You work hard, save money, do research, build excitement, make the purchase and suddenly you lose the purchase? My dear it will hurt because it was worth something.

www.freedigitalphotos.net.

We have all experienced some form of loss at one point or the other. It could have been a loved one or an object of desire but the pain of loss is the same and we will do anything possible or within our means to get the lost object back. I read an article on how Paula White prayed relentlessly for her son who was lost in addiction for over eight years. Bradley was the son of her womb, she nurtured him as a baby and had great expectations for his future, so she was not ready to allow drugs  rob her or him off the prospects of enjoying life as a family. Paula prayed, fasted and petitioned because Bradley was WORTH IT.  It didn't matter that she had other children because Bradley mattered just like you and I matter to God.

Picture courtesy www.buzz.eewmagazine.com

David knew what it was to lose something precious too. His wife was wrongfully taken from him. Despite having other wives none were like the wife of his youth. None could replace Michal, the daughter of Saul because she cost him something. "David took his men with him,and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage" 1 King 18:27.
The first opportunity David had to get her back, he did without wasting time. "thou shall not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul's daughter when thou comest to seem my face...deliver me my wife Michal which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of Philistines" 2 Samuel 3:13-14.
Michal was not just anybody, she was bought at a price. She cost sweat and blood!

photo credit www.ign.com

Dear friend, God is relentlessly pursuing you today because YOU MATTER! You were bought at a price and God is not letting you go easy. You were not bought with perishables but with the priceless blood of His only son. God gave up His son for you so don't think He'll just let you slip away like that. NO SIR!  Don't let your circumstances or anyone belittle how precious you are. YOU ARE PRICELESS and don't ever forget that."for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither  the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord" Romans 8:38-39.

Picture by Ben www.memecenter.com

Bounce back with a BANG.

The summer months slipped quickly with many wondering as usual the swiftness of time. For me,the memories of the long sunny days are filled with every adventure but exercise and diet. Those plans and accompanying goals swiftly went out the window with my winter Jackets. It was ice cream season peep! lots and lots of flavours and toppings. Not to mention barbecue parties and so on. *sigh*

  Summer is gone now and its back to the rigours of exercise and healthy living. After the long break exercise became more pain than pleasure. The pains in my joint were testimony of over indulgence during the holiday. I could barely  get my skinny legs to obey me how much more do a trot. The thought of giving up never even crossed my mind. If I was "silly" enough to be distracted then I should be bold enough to pick up where I left off with my goals in sight.

It is not inhuman to lose track of our goals and be distracted like we sometimes do.  We've all been there and some  might even be right there at the moment. "do not be surprised at the fiery trial that you are going through as if something strange were opening to you" 1 peter 4;12. But its crucial to weigh the consequences of our slight detour against the benefits of getting back in line with our vision and remaining focused.

If like me you've experienced a diversion, it is imperative that you get back with the programme and move on. It might be difficult at the beginning but it'll eventually get better. It might be slow but if you don't give up, you'll pick up pace.
Don't let errors of the past keep you from moving forward. ITS TIME TO BOUNCE BACK WITH A BANG. Not even a failed relationship, job loss or financial mistakes can hold you bound except you allow it. There is glory in your future that the past cannot hold a candle to

With that in mind, I picked up my pace as I walked and it eventually became a trot and now I AM RUNNING AGAIN.

Encouragement for the hurting

EDITOR'S NOTE:  Sometimes life hurts no matter how careful or saintly you are. Even the strongest of people also hurt . Job was righteous but he had his "bout" of challenges.  A "dear friend" betrayed my confidence a while back and I was badly wounded. Many nights after the incident, I cried myself to sleep and  sought solace in God the healer of broken hearts (he heals the broke hearted and binds their wounds" psalm 147:3) . Eventually, I was healed and the hurt just a distant memory but I still bear emotional scars from the relationship. Mind you, many times I was tempted to lash back and hurt the source of my pain but I never did simply because I have a different kind of spirit at work within me. In all, I believe there is a lesson to be learnt in every situation whether good or bad, you'll come out stronger if only you'll let God change your perspective. I found this inspiring article on Proverbs 31 that teaches  how to cope when life hurts. It's written by Chrystal Evans Hurst. Be blessed.

Laugh Out Loud

EDITOR'S NOTE:Just like a lot of you, I have been battered, bruised yet not broken. I have suffered rejection and emotional abuse yet I still find reasons to laugh. I have a physical disability but never allowed it to erode my confidence or affect my self esteem. Having a child with "Autism" has taught me how to give unconditional love. You see, there are daily challenges this side of heaven but you have a choice; be defeated or run your opponents outta town-I CHOOSE THE LATTER. My attitude has got nothing to do with my abilities or lack thereof but its about THE GOD IN ME. I appreciate life because I have experienced the darkness of depression. I appreciate having more than enough because I've experienced lack. How can you appreciate laughter, if you've never been sad? I know sadness that is why I appreciate God, the giver of Joy. My little sister Vickie mamalet(don't know how or where she got mamalet from) wrote this tribute about moi. Please enjoy, no room for bad belle..lol "The resilent are people who do not allow a problem limit their dreams or stop them from achieving. A lot of people allow a little dislocation rewrite their destiny for them, i have seen some people varnish in their regrets and die Un accomplished. Frustration sets in when the door of hope is shut down. Hmm when your right hand is broken, use the left and give the broken one reasons to come alive. I have seen a lot of broken pieces but this particular one did not stay broken" Yeah, that's me on the spin machine-i'm an insurance risk if I must say so myself..who cares? life is for living. Enjoy this comedy skit i put together for your plesure. Remember, LIVE LIFE, LOVE LIFE AND LAUGH DAILY.

Post by Gladys Otono-Atsenokhai.

Wrong Turn

I was never an ardent fan of driving, infact driving scared me for many reasons. I am a survivor of a ghastly motor accident so getting behind the wheels of a car or even being a passenger while another person drives sends bile up my throat!! Moreover, the rules of driving in Ireland is light years ahead of what obtains in my darling home country of Nigeria. While in Nigeria, I drove for a year without knowing how to reverse. Thank God I never killed anyone or got killed myself...lol. I was forced to improve my driving in Ireland because of the strict driving rules, poor transportation network and I also live in the rural area; I therefore needed a car to get around. Over time, my driving has improved and I've grown to love the idea of being the female "Lewis Hamilton". I have a rule of thumb before venturing anywhere especially when it involves strange places-I ALWAYS CHECK THE MAP AND FAMILIARISE MYSELF WITH THE ROUTES. The idea of getting lost scares me shitless moreso since I watched a movie titled "Wrong Turn". In the movie, a wrong turn down an uncharted dirt road leads six young people into a night of pure terror in this horror story.The movie has got to be the gorriest I've ever watched! Sometimes people make wrong turns in life and need the help of the Holy spirit to recaliberate their direction. Even the most logical and ardent planner sometimes miss the mark too but they are never without hope. The most Unfortunate people in life are those that have made wrong turns, refuse to acknowledge they've lost their ways and are stuck in the consequences of their decisions. I recently made a wrong turn despite my best intentions. I am not ashammed to say I made a mistake. Most times admitting wrong is a sign of strength not weakness and a pathway to healing and restoration.The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 is about a son who lost his ways but later found himself crawling back to his father.To his dismay, he was met with open arms and wrapped in forgiveness instead of condemnation. Have you made a wrong turn? its time to find your way again if possible back to the starting line. It doesn't matter how far down the trail you are. Its better to make a U-turn early than be stuck on a mindless or futile journey leading to nowhere. Recaliberating hurts but is a necessary process. It doesn't even matter what people will say.

What To Do When Your Rooster Crows by Sharon Jaynes

Have you ever been riddled with guilt? When it seems errors of the past just keep pushing themselves back in your face or maybe its people that won't let you forget your mistakes. A broken relationship and an unwanted pregnancy could be reminders of bad choices made in the heat of passion. A bounced cheque or an account in the red can also push the feeling of guilt to the fore. We've all been there and more so Peter, the most brash amongst Jesus' disciple. He denied Jesus not once but thrice and had a rooster remind him of his folly. When the mighty fall, they do fall with a big bang and the devil is always right behind them to constantly remind them of their errors. But Peter's story did not end with his error-no sire! The story gets interesting. I read this article by one of my favourite writers and I'm sure it'll inspire you too. P.S. I'm truly sorry for my long absence would make it up to you. Thanks for still visiting. You can follow Sharon on www.sharonjaynes.com. She is amazing. I sat on my back porch, wrapped in my fuzzy worn robe—the one that’s twenty years old that I just can’t seem to get rid of. The birch trees waved “good morning,” and the newly planted gerbera daisies stretched their faces to the sun…just a bit higher than the day before. Then I heard him. The rooster. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I’m not sure where he lives, but it’s within earshot. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I thought of Peter. I thought of me. I thought of you. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know the story. At the dinner table, on the night before Jesus went to the cross, he said to Peter: “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death with you.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” (Luke 22:31) A few hours later, Peter did just that. Denied that he even knew Jesus. Three times. And then the rooster crowed. ER-er-ER-er ERRRR. “And he went outside and wept bitterly.” He cried and cried and cried. (I’ve messed up big time and cried and cried and cried before. Have you?) The next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure. And the next, and the next, and the next. With every squawk of the bird. A fresh reminder. First thing in the morning. Have you ever been there? I have. I have failed. And I have remembered…the rooster crowed. And even though I had asked for forgiveness, and I knew that God HAD forgiven me, the rooster crowed in my heart, and I remembered my failure anew. What did Jesus have to say about Peter’s failure? Three strikes, you’re out? Not hardly. After his resurrection, Jesus pulled Peter aside… “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” Jesus removed the shroud of shame hanging from Peter’s guilt weary shoulders, and called him to get back to the ministry to which he was called. God’s forgiveness is always complete, total, and comprehensive. “If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]“ (1 John 1:9 AMP). However, the accuser continues to crow—reminding us our past sins and failures. He tries to drown out the song of grace with the caw of shame. He crows. We remember. Perhaps even weep with Peter behind the wall. ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. You know what I’ve decided? Rooster makes a fine meal. Let’s ring the rooster’s neck and cook him up once and for all. Don’t let the enemy accuse you of what God has already forgiven you of? Don’t let him fool you into thinking that the cross wasn’t enough. “Daughter, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord, you know that I do.” I wonder what went through Peter’s mind the next time he heard the rooster crow. I think he smiled and thought of God’s amazing grace. That’s what I’m going to do tomorrow when I hear that rooster crow. What about you? The next time the devil reminds you of all the times you’ve failed, will you stand with me and answer the caw of shame with the song of grace? If so, leave a comment that says, “Thank God, I’m forgiven and free!”

Humpty's GREAT FALL

I couldn't help pondering over the poem Humpty Dumpty this morning. You know the classic poem "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the Kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again". How sad!! When I was taught this simple rhyme in primary school, there was no morale to be learnt. It was just a poem to be recited and enjoyed by little children nothing else. Today, the poem strikes a different and deeper cord in my heart. What was Humpty doing on the wall in the first place? How did he climb the wall? and to what purpose? Surely, he must have considered in that big head of his the dangers of climbing much more sitting on a wall!! Could it be that there was something in the horizon that he wanted to see and the wall could give him added advantage to see better? Unfortunately,something must have caught his attention or distracted him causing him to slip and fall. Maybe he even suddenly realised that "wow, I'm on a wall! what was I thinking? Hmmm! We may not know the answers to these questions but we do know he climbed the wall and fell much to his dismay and embarrassment. Someone must have been watching for the rescue team to come and try to gather the pieces together-someone must have called the kings emergency number. Did they warn him prior to his adventure or were they just casual by-standers waiting and watching to see the outcome of Humpty's folly. Humpty must be connected to the king to get royal attendants and attention. Have you ever found yourself in Humpty's position? you've climbed high to achieve a goal, taken a risk to better yourself in business, relationship only to come crashing down flat on your face? Well, I have and so has Peter. He saw Jesus walking on water and asked if he could join the "water-walking-elite", "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Matthew 14:22-33. Peter was doing well until he got distracted. He noticed the boisterous wind, panicked and started to sink. I'm sure he felt humiliated because the other disciples saw him falter after his brave starting point. Sometimes it is not the fall that hurts but the humiliation of falling. You wonder at the number of people that observe and maybe laughed at your mistakes. I felt like that too after getting pregnant. I WAS ASHAMED!! but still chose to have my baby no matter the consequence. I have got 2 points to share with you that will encourage your faith. 1. Those people that saw you fall most likely wish they were bold enough to attempt what you did. You may have fallen but posterity can never accuse you of never trying.2. When Peter cried out, Jesus reached out and RESCUED HIM. He ended up still walking on water this time with Jesus-THE KING holding his hands allaying his fears. Peter walked on water while the other disciples cowered in the comfort of the boat. Peter had an adventure while others were mere spectators. If you've been dealing with shame following a misadventure-DON'T BE. Its time to call out for help and its just A PRAYER AWAY. By the way, why didn't the kings horses and kings men call the King to fix Humpty when they couldn't? POOR HUMPTY.

Stop Building Walls, Start Building Bridges

I'll be sharing a post from one of my favourite writers on a devotional topic close to my heart. Truth is, when it comes to loving others and showing affection, I'm down right scared of being hurt and would shy away from being vulnerable with another person. I have been hurt so many times not unlike many people but for some recovering from past hurt takes longer than most....so be kind in judging me. However, I've dared to open up to others again by giving the best of myself to the people around me and causes I believe in and that my friend is WORTH EVERY OUNCE OF MY LOVE and a guaranteed fast track to Healing and a joy-filled living. Like I tell myself, "don't wallow in self pity,stick your head outta your a*** and make every moment count". Don't dwell on the hurt, RE-CHANNEL your emotions and you'll be SMILING AGAIN. ENJOY RICK WARREN. “The Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear.” (2 Timothy 4:17a NLT) When you’re lonely, you need to focus on others and not yourself. The loneliest person in the world is the guy who's self-centered and wrapped up in himself. God wired us to give our lives away, to help others, to think of others and not just ourselves. If you want to break out of loneliness, stop saying, "I don't have any friends," and start being a friend. Stop focusing on yourself and instead give yourself away. Instead of focusing on yourself, you need to emphasize others' needs. Loneliness is often a fear of love. We're afraid to be open. We’re afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to share how we really feel. We're afraid to step out and risk a relationship because we might be rejected, and we know what that pain feels like. When we fear love, we don't give ourselves away, and we're guaranteeing ourselves loneliness. We set ourselves up in a self-imposed prison of solitary confinement that is absolutely unnecessary. Give your life away! When Paul was in prison and about to be executed, he said all his friends had left him, but God was with him. That gave him the strength to reach out to others and complete the work God had given him: “The Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear” (2 Timothy 2:17a NLT). The key to overcoming loneliness is to stop building walls and start building bridges. Stop building walls between you and other people. Start building bridges. Take a risk. Begin to help other people. Years ago, Corrie Ten Boom was engaged to be married to a guy who suddenly broke off the engagement and married her best friend. She was devastated. She came home crushed and lonely and isolated. She asked her father, "What do I do with a blocked love?” He said, "Whenever you have a blocked love, re-channel it.” There are thousands of people in the world who need your love. Re-channel it. If you hold it in, it's going to dry up and wither away. You need to find a ministry, a place you can use your talents and gifts to help other people. Give yourself away. When you do that, the loneliness will dissipate. Talk It Over Why is it sometimes easier to hold love in than give it away? Who are the people around you who need your love today? How can you share it with them?

He Never Left Afterall

Not me silly.....Jesus! I've been on hiatus for the past 5 months and that my friend is a very very long story. I promise to keep you updated on the adventures I've been through, the lessons I've learnt and how grown up I've become. Truth be said, I've been a bad friend but guess what I'm back and I'm going nowhere. Unlike my now humble self, Jesus never leaves His friends no matter the situation-NO EXCUSES! He sticks closer than glue. If there is a person that sticks closer than a brother according to Proverbs 18:24 that person dear friend is Jesus. When Jesus is on your case, HE IS ON YOUR CASE! Remember my last post titled HE CAME BACK? How Thomas thought he'd missed out on one of the greatest experiences in his life? I'm sure he would have loathed the other disciples for boasting about how the master broke through their fear riddled hearts and sealed doors to show his nail pierced hands cos I'm sure I would have hated them all especially that Peter lol! Thomas must have blamed himself for breaking rank and stepping out for a breather only to miss Jesus' appearance. Sound familiar? It does to me! I've lost count of the number of times a seemingly innocent action becomes an overblown misadventure that leaves one reeling, struggling to find balance and wondering if you'll ever get another chance in life or in love. Some actions or inactions or effects of poor choices might make you wonder if you'll ever smile again, achieve desired goals again or if you'll ever find your niche again? Guess what? YES YOU CAN! The other disciples thought Thomas had missed out on that great appearance even Thomas despite his outward show of bravado thought he'd missed out but he inwardly craved His master’s re-visitation just like you and I. John 20:26 states that “A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them". Thomas stayed in the locked room this time hoping Jesus would visit again. Every person that at one point has been broken wants to be whole again.

My friend, Jesus never disappoints as he actually came back into that hope filled room and attended to one person's inner cry for a re- visitation. I love Jesus's conversation with Thomas "Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe". Imagine the surprise on Thomas's face because Christ wasn't there when he made that statement he thought. That's the shocker dear friend; Jesus is ALWAYS WITH YOU, watching out for you even in seemingly hopeless situations. He has promised never to leave nor forsake you and HE KEEPS HIS WORDS. Although he did not come immediately and poor Thomas must have whimpered like a child but HE SHOWED up as He always does and He will for you too. JUST STAY IN THAT ROOM.

He came back

He'd missed him! Jesus came back and Thomas had missed him. All the disciples were agog with the news of the master's return and he'd missed Him. He couldn't understand what the fuss was all about anyway because he won’t believe them until he saw "his nail pierced hands and sides- better still not until he'd put his fingers through them. There was no convincing Thomas despite the excitement amongst the disciples. As far as Thomas was concerned Jesus was dead and buried, his tomb stood as evidence of his demise. "Maybe the disciples were hallucinating", he thought. "It must be the pressure from hiding. Fear has a way of messing up with the senses you know. Try hiding from those blood thirsty Pharisees, you'll start seeing things I bet you". He mused within himself. The other disciples must have felt sorry for him. He'd missed the greatest event of his life. What a mighty loss! I would have felt sorry for Thomas too if I'd witnessed such a mind blowing occurrence. They'd seen the master beaten and crucified. In fact they'd taken his body for burial and that massive tomb stood as a constant reminder of the hurtful past few days. Now, He’s risen and Thomas missed it! How sad! Poor Thomas! Fortunately, that's not the end of the story. The bible records in John 20:26 that a week later whiles the disciple were together in the house again, this time Thomas was with them, guess who showed up? JESUS. I'm sure Thomas was shocked. He probably thought he'd never withness what the other disciple did and may have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. Thomas had missed out at His first appearance to the other disciples but Jesus was not going to let him miss out on the resurrection story. It was not enough to have second hand information about the risen lord but Jesus was going to give Thomas a personal visitation. Many times, I've found myself missing out or falling short of everybody's expectations including mine. That point that you wonder if you'll ever do right by any standard- A SEALED TOMB MOMEMT-and suddenly a ray of light shows. It’s no longer a sealed tomb moment but A JESUS MOMENT. Thomas may have stepped out briefly for a breath of fresh air but he missed Jesus. He'd been a faithful follower but he still missed it. Jesus did not judge him but came back for him because Thomas was important and SO ARE YOU. We all miss it sometimes but don't despair Jesus is ready to meet you just where you are. Maybe you'r battling a drug addiction, alchohol, anger or even fornication it does not matter. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOU BECAUSE GOD DIDN'T EITHER. Like the parable of the lost coin in Luke 55, Jesus is meticulous and tenacious in His search FOR LOST SOULS. You are part of a family-a very important one at that. Jesus came back for Thomas; He came back for me, HE IS COMING FOR YOU.

bag that shoe peeps!

Hurray! My good friend and loko sister has joined the blogosphere and I'm so excited. Her blog is about everything shoes, bags and fashion. I'm not a fashionista but I love my shoes especially my heels....I'M MAD ABOUT HEELS. There's something about a lady in heels. It adds an extra sexiness to her wardrobe and look. Like every woman, I'm a loose cannon in any shopping mall. I dart from shop to shop with absolutely no idea what I want but my eyes seems to zing to the perfect shoes. I'd choose a perfect shoe over clothes anytime. I've got shoes in both rooms in my house since I no longer have space to keep them in my room; poor Josh has mummy's shoes hidden under his bed(note to self...get proper storage for your shoes and mind your room woman!). I love that I LOVE FASHION but there was a time I didn't care what I looked like or even what people thought about me. I was very sad battling post natal depression so looking good was the last thing on my mind. However when God began His healing work in my life, it started reflecting on the outside. The truth is God is interested in both the content and the container.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well " psalm 139:14. What better way to adorn this wonderfull work of art(your body) than to make it look fab albeit decently and within your means!!likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control" 1Timothy 2:9 This year, I had to deliberately discipline myself from buying shoes at the spur of the moment as I've got more shoes than I need and even more that I've not worn(time to sort those unwanted shoes babe) I have no problem getting the perfect shoes but not every woman is that lucky. I realise some women struggle to get the right shoes for the perfect outfit. It’s not unusual seeing a beautifully dressed woman wearing very ugly shoes and that my friend is every fashionistas nightmare. So that's why “bagthatshoe” comes in handy. It’s a helpful guide to helping every fashionista bag those special shoes and accessories to glam up any look. The blog is also a creative outlet for my dear friend, Omo as she’s a nutter for fashion. One beautiful benefit of the blogosphere is it enables everybody to put their creative ability and talent to good use. For majority of people, the internet with its ensuing challenges has been a blessing in disguise. It has given everyone a platform for expression which was otherwise unavailable or limited via traditional media platforms. You have uncountable people who’ve broken through the World Wide Web via the blogosphere. I’m thankful for the internet as it’s a means of sharing the gospel and the enriching work of salvation with others. For my friend it’s an opportunity to promote her skills and help you bag that purrrrrfect shoe. C’mon, check out www.bagthatshoe.com. You’ll love it

Battlefield of the Mind

I use to think God had forgotten me or maybe I wasn't even on His to do list. I would look at certain situations I'd gone through and question if God was fair. Challenges does that you know. The mind gets so messed up that a positive outlook seems like an over stretched ideal. I read a story on UCB devotional on how elephants are trained "They did it by controlling the animal’s thinking. When a baby elephant was being trained, a rope was put around its leg and then tied to a wooden post secured in the ground. The elephant, which was not yet very strong, pulled at the rope but was unable to break it or to pull up the post. Eventually it gave up. From that point forward when the elephant’s leg was secured it believed it couldn’t get away—even though it was fully capable of escaping, and had been for a long time. It remembered its struggle". The rope tied to the elephant's feet over time conditioned its mind that it would forever be in bondage. A person that has suffered abuse and rejection in life comes to expect these in life. Infact most women that experience abuse, almost always go into destructive relationships that depletes them; until they get the intervention they need. The first place that failure hits is a person's self worth. You feel useless and unworthy of love. The person starts to feel they deserve to be hurt and sometimes unconsciouly seek out pain. They even reject love when it comes knocking. After experiencing pain for so long, I became suspicious of love and feared rejection. I allowed my past experiences to condition my present so much that I was only existing not living. I basked in fear always afraid to launch out or even take a risk. Until I broke free. You see God created us to live and not merely exist irrespective of what we've been through. Fear of failure robs a person off the opportunity to live a life of DOMINION. We are meant to kick life in the butt and determine to LIVE THE GOOD LIFE. This can only happen if we decide to enjoy everyday no matter what may come our way. Moreover, troubles don't last always "For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" "Corinthians 4:17.. In everybattle the enemy first seeks to bully the opponent into submission. This is the strategy Goliath used in intimidating the israelites before David came on the scene in 1 Samuel 17. The elephant like you and I can break free of captivity of the mind because with God all things are possible "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" 1 John 4:4. until a person avails of the weapons of warfare in the Word of God, he or she is destined to perpetual defeat. The beauty of it all is we are fighting from the winning side. isn't that amazing!!

Celebrating GOD in an usual GEM

Its amazing how situations sometimes turn out isn't? When the most unlikely circumstance ends up producing the most unusual results. Its times like these that I marvel at how God works. How He makes something beautiful from improbable sources. You just can't fully fathom the mind of God, He's simply mind boggling. With God it doesn't matter your background or your lineage or how seemingly unqualified you are.. He just wants a yielded, hungry and trusting heart. This post is inspired by a sister and a friend.

Comfort and I met in secondary and a bond was instantly struck between us. we shared a lot of interests and had the same crazy sense of humour. I was the giant beside her small frame and we somehow always got into trouble TOGETHER...more like trouble always found us and we basked in mischiefs.*sigh* those were the days. One striking feature about my darling friend was her amazing and infectous laughter. Comfort could laugh at everything and anything. Her brown eyes were always lit up with a hint of a smile waiting to burst forth into laughter-most times out of control. But beneath that happy go lucky attitude, comffy as she's still fondly called had a secret that she never shared with anybody not even with her buddy. I found out over a bowl of garri(food ofcourse....the FBI should take hint) that it wasn't all rosy in paradise. Her bubbly character hid the trauma of a painful childhood without a father and a single mother struggling to provide for her children. This is not unlike how a lot of kids from less priviledged homes suffered but my friend's experience and ensuing attitute was different. Comfort would never let out whether she'd eaten before coming to school or even if she had the requisite money for lunch. it wasn' pride just a positive attitude that God blessed her with. The day she shared her challenges with me with tears in her eyes, my first reaction was that of shock. I couldn't believe that she could hide her struggles from me her best buddy!! Then my shock changed to respect. I respected her positive attitude even at that age....we were less than 15!!!. I on the other hand was never good at handling uncomfortable situations but thank God for second chances. My friend did not allow the challenges of her childhood deter her from enjoying and filling her days with laughter. With Comfort, I have come to learn NEVER to allow circumstances drive the narration of my life. Human existence is prone to challenges but we have a choice to either let the prevailing circumstances make or break us. Comfort chose to allow her childhood drive her to God and success. If you've experienced pain and poverty, you wouldn't want any relationship with them, serious! She never became bitter or was embittered by her parents poor choices. I was in Nigeria on holiday last year and had a reunion with my dear friend. I was sincerely amazed at how far she'd come. Sitting opposite me was a beautiful woman with no trace of the trauma of her childhood; all gone, transformed and helped with the grace of a loving God with children of her own. Comfort is a success in all sphere with a career, a loving family and an unquenchable fire for God. I celebrate you comffy as you mark another birthday and I'm so proud of you. Your life inspires me on how God can make something out of nothing. If only we believe and let Him more often than we do. God does make something beautiful from the dust and COMFORT IS A LIVING TESTIMONY. .....and yes even after all these years, she still laughs crazy. Thanks for letting me share your story.

......and I CRIED

"Sister Gladys, I’d like to see you later please", the pastor's wife said. "Chei! What have I done or haven't done this time?, I exclaimed to no one in particular in the almost empty church auditorium . "Finally", I continued as I drove for my appointment with the Pastor's wife. "Sister Carol has had enough of my constant "harassment" over her height issue that she has reported me. You see, I love sister carol but she is pint size compared to my gigantic frame. So I've made it a personal honour to plead her case with the lord and "bully" her to achieve my goal! I'm tired of talking with her from my vantage tall position and it’s even more awkward when I wear heels (what is my crime in wanting the best for a sister in the lord?). After I'd settled in the church office and exchanged the usual pleasantries with my rather shy but amiable pastor's wife, the matter was worse than I envisaged. "Sister G", she said. "The lord wants you to FORGIVE your baby's dad and forgive yourself”. That came as a shock because she was not privy to my dramatic past. Moreover, I had forgiven my son's dad, hadn't I? I'd done the "religious act" of forgiving but deep down I was hurting and bitter. I was hurting that he'd treated me shabbily and tossed me out like trash to cater for "our baby" alone. Moreover, I thought moving on and starting a new life was all it took to address the past and heal my wounds. I've realised it’s never that simple. You see, healing is a process and not an act of magic. You don’t just wave a magic wand to make a pain disappear or a wound to heal up. It is a process that requires conscious effort. The process is always painful but necessary for proper healing to occur. Remember iodine? It is a solution used to disinfect bruises or wound and accelerate healing. It stings and even the brave may cry but it does what it says on the bottle. After, I survived an accident in which I lost three fingers on my right hand; I thought the doctors were a mean bunch anytime they came to change my dressings. removing the blood soaked bandage would hurt even before the actual cleaning and dressing would start. It was never the doctor's intention to hurt but to heal.....however they inadvertently hurt me in the process. Today, I'm grateful for the hurt as they were able to save my hand if not all my fingers. So with God. He desires a thorough spiritual surgical removal of bitterness and forgiveness for proper restoration and healing to occur. God wants to restore man to WHOLENESS. However, it does not mean there won’t be scars! After the Holy Spirit revealed the true nature of my heart, I STARTED TO CRY. I cried for the little girl that struggled all her life to be accepted and be acknowledged. I cried for the teenage girl that craved acceptance in the arms of different men but was only left with a hollow feeling in her heart. I cried for the woman who thought a career and financial independence were the -only seal of approval she needed. I cried for the mother who had to struggle to love her child because in his eyes she saw his father. In the little boy's brokenness she saw a reflection of past failures returning to hunt her. I cried because in that moment, the spirit that searches the heart showed me the truth. I’d been leaving a lie and going through the motions of Christianity without truly living the TRUTH. I cried for the lost years and opportunities lost but best of all I cried because of the future. I cried because the festering wound of the past was finally being treated properly and not covered or wished away. Delving into the past hurt but that is the first step to healing. Forgiving hurts but it’s a necessary process for healing. That day, I cried not about the past but in excitement about the future and the second chance it held out. The journey to wholeness was finally set in motion.

Celebrate what?

It was *Nonye's* birthday and we were determined to paint the town red. Surprisingly, the five ladies crammed into the car were all single mums. As Nonye jokingly said "Ireland is a haven for single mums" and we all laughingly agreed but that is an issue for another day. I don't get to go out much often so was determined to milk this night for all it was worth(the venue for the night's escapade yet unknown as Nonye was keeping it as a closely guarded secret-her way of heightening the suspence and thrill of the day). As the car angled slowly to Drogheda I noticed a slight frown on the celebrant's face. "What is the matter", I asked through the din of the other ladies conversation and burst of sporadic laughter. "My dad called me today to wish me a happy birthday", she answered. "So", I said. "After the usual plesantries, he told me to go ahead and celebrate if there is anything worth celebrating. I find that statement kind of strange and upsetting" she continued with a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "hmmmm", I mused for a while. Nonye was a single mum and has lived abroad for 10 years without the requisite resident permit. Thirty years old, no husband in sight, unemployed and with tightened immigration policies, her situation looked dismal from any onlookers perspective. "your father meant no harm", I told her. "even the bible says "teach us to number our days,That we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12). " Its his way of telling you to review your life. so pucker up gal", I adviced and gently punched her in the sides.

As I celebrate my birthday, I reminisce on that night five years. Why do I celebrate? I'm a single mum with a disability, unemployed,etc.So what is there to celebrate? I came into Ireland years ago a broken, sad, lonely pregnant woman. All my life's dream and aspiration had crashed around me. A friend once said "it was a relationship that ended not my life" but for me that rejection tipped me over the edge. I'd been through a lot of abuse growing up, my fragile emotions had taken its fair share of bashing and couldn't take anymore. I forgot how to smile and couldnt find joy in my child. I even lost my sense of humour and forgot how to be sexy(a whole Don Mama G became a recluse, an unsexy one at that) The challenges of life became too much but I was too much of a coward to end it all or rather something deep within me knew my little boy needed his mummy and that thought kept me going. Waking up and going through the motion of living became the order of my life. I was no longer living but EXISTING until JESUS FOUND AND RESCUED ME.....AGAIN. Since then, its been a slow recovery process-leaning and trusting the lord every step of the way....like a recovering alcoholic, there's no rushing the detox. I've got my self confidence back and I'm proud of how far I've come. I may not have the "usual trappings" neither do I lack basic necessities. Along the way, I've equipped myself with skills to make a difference to my generation so I am not lazy. The future is beautiful and no longer bleak-I SEE CLEARLY. I know my worth! The bible says I'm Priceless. So what do I celebrate? EVERYTHING! RENEWED HOPE AND A FUTURE ENGRAVED IN CHRIST. No man can take that from me. I wrote on my Facebook profile that I found my very first grey hair this morning but I wasn't bothered. I call it my WISDOM HAIR as I have officially joined THE EXTRAORDINARY LEAGUE OF WISE PEOPLE. I am so blessed by your good will greetings and love. DHL has never been this innaundated with parcels before(by faith) but keep it coming till Dec 31st 2013 i'll still be collecting gifts-real estate inclusive. Monetary gifts accepted Euros, pounds , dollars even naira(but in millions. explain to EFFCC that its a gift and not money laundering!!). With this level of love, guess its time to contest election both in Nigeria and Ireland. Love y'all

Looking Up.

Happy new month all. 2012 has been a fantastic year for me and I'm so appreciative. It has not been entirely drama free but in the midst of all my challenges, I've learnt a lot. I have discovered more of my weaknesses, some behaviours and attitudes that I never imagined were dormant in me or that I had at all. Above all, I have discovered how strong I really am. Seriously, you never know who you really are untill you are faced with a never before experienced challenge. Most importantly, my challenges never overwhelmed me even when I faltered emotionally, I always come out smiling having learnt a lesson or two from the situation. I'm learning to deal with my anger issues. Yep, anger and bitterness over my past. It's so easy telling one to let go of the past but when underlying issues are not properly addressed, they would eventually fester and affect the future causing more damage. So I am addressing those festering wounds while looking forward to the future. I've also learnt that if I want to trully enjoy that glorious future that is mine, there is the urgent need to carefully and dilligently deal with these matters once and for all."Do not remember the former things,nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth;Shall you not know it? " Isaiah 43:18-19. For God to work his will perfectly in a person's life there must be that sincere acknowledgement of one's weakness and the need for His strength and help. On this journey of healing and transformation, the lord has been my strength and guide. I've learnt to lean and depend on Him constantly.When I find myself digging into that "bag of gaggage" which contains basically crap and lies that the enemy made me believe and carry over the years, I exchange them with the truth of God's words. It works all the time. (never even realised I was still carrying them around!) For instance when I'm feeling low, I just tell myself over and over that "the joy of the lord is my strength". I choose God's words over the devil's. Negative words inflict wounds while the word of God soothes and heals. No wonder I was constantly overwhelmed as a negative attitude is comparable with a dark cloud that broods nothing but storm and bad weather. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us" Heb 12:1 Its been a slow but eventful journey. I'd expected to be "all that" but worried that I was not "all that". Dreams and aspirations seemingly not happening yet. In it all I'm Grateful. some of the reasons for my initial discontent was a result of comparing myself with other people whom I felt were doing better than me or were doing what I desired. Until I learnt to appreciate who I am as an individual and where I am, I was never happy. Moreover, the bible says "he that compares himself to another is FOOL" and nobody wants to be called a fool. So I gave myself a much needed nudge in the butt . Like a recovering alcholic, I'm taking little baby steps, not worrying but "running the race that is set before ME) not running another person's race as that only leads to fustration and eventual depression. Until I changed my perspective I was stuck in an emotional rot. I am learning to be CONTENT in all things not LETHAGIC but content and daily appreciating God for the gift of life. As I do these, life has become easier and less stressful because I've learnt to trust "The owner of Life". I remind myself its not so much the destination as much as the beauty of the journey. My life is an unfolding story and I'm learning to enjoy the narration. Its not fast paced as it used to be neither is it boring. The tempo is much different and I'm evolving into the beatiful, confident woman that I'm so grateful for. Despite my challenges- josh's diagnoses, my unemployement etc-I'm leaning more and more on God instead of whinning and complaing even crying but trusting God all the way. After all He started all this....so I'll give Him DRAMA trust me! lol. But its not all bad, Infact its not bad at all rather everything is LOOKING UP and what a PICTURE its turning out to be.

God is Never Late.

Standing by the river bank waiting for the waters to part. I shuddered in the cold as the wind blew at my face. Awaiting my miracle.......any miracle! I looked up as dark clouds gathered and heaven splewed forth rain. Lightening rippled through the sky as I stood shivering at the riverbank. Tears streamed down my face but I barely felt the cold. In the blustering wind,I could hear the chariots coming.the riders urging the horses to run faster despite the darkness. They were fearsome with their cloaks flowing behind them. The picture was frightening. I hurdled deeper into my coat seeking the protection of my warm fleece coat. but it offered no solace. From the corner of my eyes I saw the shining silver metal of a soldier's lifted sword and my heart caught in my chest. My knees crumbled underneath me. Despite the rain, the sand was still warm. It was not meant to end this way. I was tired of running.There was no where else to go.No place to hide. I wept like a child waiting to be crushed under the heavy weight of a soldiers blow. Lord, I cried.Help me lord! I need you lord!It wasn't meant to be like this. The waters are supposed to part for me and the chariots are drawing closer. Looorrrrrdddd! I cried. With trembling feet I crawled closer to the water bank muttering silent prayers to Jehovah to hear my plea and deliver me from pharaoh's army.The tide was mounting and there seems to be no help in sight! Will I survive this time? I felt a tug in my spirit, a silent voice said "Look up child".The battering army was no more.Like a vapour they'd disappear. The wind had dropped to a gentle whisper and the tide had subsided. I saw the sun come out from behind the clouds and its gentle ray shining down on me. I was no longer cold but clothe in an indescribable warmth. I felt the laughter riplling from deep within me and a gentle sound escaped from my lips. The days spent enduring the raging storms and tormenting army were soon quickly forgotten as I girded my cloak and boldly walked towards the waters. That too had parted! In the middle of the sea a royal aisle was waiting, my very own red carpet. I was no longer afraid as the hand of God guided me on this next journey, trusting Him to keep the waters at bay while I skip, run and dance to the other side of the sea.

Not Ashammed!

Being a single mum was never part of my childhood dreams. As a little girl, I had a clearcut idea of what I wanted to be in future and despite the huddles, I achieved my heart desire and lived the dream albeit for a while. But the challenges I endured as a kid cannot compare with the challenges of being a single mum. I was not prepared! it hit me slambang in the face like a baseball bat(not that I've experienced that before but you get my drift). I had survived emotional trauma of being hurt and all by people but I carried on WELL. Past hurts never prepared me for challenges of single motherhood but I found myself right in the middle of it.Many times I wondered how I would cope. Life was difficult enough coping with myself but how in heaven's name was I supposed to cope with this "little person". But I have coped well and would cope better still. I am not the perfect mum but I'm a good mother. Irrespective of how many times I fall short of my own expectations, there is no denying that I love my son. I would not change him for the world. I remember the pain of rejection and the shame that I lumbered around for 2 years, weighing me down and stealing my joy-THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD. life drifted gradually. the days rolled into another. I lost the sense of purpose and simply endured the days. Nothing made sense! I lost my sexyness! who would love me? I was unlovable! the man in the mirror told me so! he screamed dirty words at me and I believed! I fell for his lies. I was ashammed and dirty and ASHAMMED. With shame I lost my confidence and with it the twinkle in my eyes. In its place was a bottomless pit of dispair. I couldnt bear it anymore-the pretence! I had done a lot of crying in my young life but those moments hurt more as I felt the errors of my circumstances were my fault. All around me my life had a semblance of fulfillment but deep down the smiles hid the shame, the decay, the rot. I felt a tug at my knees while I was staring out of the window. It was my little boy. his chubby fingers were stretched out for me to carry him. I looked into his eyes. For the first time that day in 2 years I trully saw how beautiful he was. His smile tugged at my heart and something broke. his laughter resounded in my heart as i lifted him into my arms. "My son", I whispered. He smiled and hid his face in my neck. I heard the voice in my heart say "thus art the lord done unto me in the days wherein He looked upon me with compassion and took away my reproach from amongst men"Luke 1:25. The journey to restoration had gently begun. Holding on to guilt, shame and bitterness was hurting my son and I rubbing us off the joy of felloweship with each other. I had missed out on strategic milestones in his young life: the first time he smiled, the first googly sound etc. I consciously decided to forgive myself and bask in the liberation that Christ died for. Mistakes do happen and people sometimes fall but we dont have to necessarilly wallow in the pit of despair as I found myself doing. My lifestyle was contradicting the message of the cross that jesus died on "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new"(2 Cor 5:17).I had been seeing things wrongly all these while! I had been deceived and had believed a lie. I had nothing to be ashammed of! That day, I chose to allow God's mercy restore me. My pregnacy was not a punishment but something to be enjoyed. yes, I got pregnant outside wedlock but I did the honorable thing of giving life to my baby instead of the cowardly option of abortion. I saw myself in the reality of God's WORD. I saw Hope, I saw Joy and felt the tingles of a journey to Newness.