Letter to my Joshy

Appreciating my son at Christmas. He is much stronger than I give him credit for. How else does he manage to live with the Queen of Loko herself?
Dear Joshy boo,
I've made a lot of crazy decisions in my life and followed with a lot of crazy actions but having you tops it all.  Its been eight roller coaster years since you came into my life but it's an adventure I've come to enjoy with the highs and lows. I know its not your birthday but your smile makes me want to celebrate every day. Who knew it'll take a lil boy to turn this ogre into mush.

For many reasons this is the best Christmas ever and its because you are in it. We don't have much but we have each other and that makes other things trivial in comparison. YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS.

I feel like everything in my life was a build up to you; my choices, decisions, heartbreaks, regrets, rejections and applause. EVERYTHING.  You are the crescendo of all my achievements. NOTHING COMPARES WITH YOU. Every time, I see you the rejection, my past, pain and choices are all worth it. If I had done one thing differently, I would never have had the joy that you are my son. YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING. Thank God I chose you and I'll do it all over again maybe not via Onitsha..lol

Little Drops of Water

It doesn't necessarily start to pour when it rains. It sometimes starts with gentle drips.  Even the heaviest downpour starts with little drops before gaining momentum.

 Altair Urbano via photopin cc

 These little drops are signs which alerts to heavier drops to come. It might begin with sporadic burst of rain drops before becoming a consistent shower but it will be utter foolishness to disregard the tiny drops. Little drops of rain affords one the opportunity to project and plan for the likelihood of heavier showers. As a young girl growing up in the not so posh side of town, rainfalls were well appreciated. Its free water saving most families the stress of  the long walk to fetch water for household purposes. It also affords the kids the opportunity to play in the rain naked and unabashed.

 Frederic Mancosu via photopin cc

As pleasurable as  playing in the rain was, nothing beats the anticipation of the rain itself.  The gentle pit pat of rain drops on the roof tops and the sweet musky smell of wet sand was heavenly. The smattering of sounds on the rooftop was all the neighbourhood needed to start gathering available empty buckets and pans to collect rain water.

It doesn't necessarily have to be much but the anticipation was all the same. The people knew that little will go a long way to alleviate the constant water shortage and the accumulation of little becomes much. They knew that the tiny drops was a symbol of much more to come.

Elijah the Tishbite understood this principle in 1Kings 18. After the land had experienced intense drought for thee years, Elijah prayed that it would rain again but Heaven did not immediately open its gates and poured rain. What Elijah saw instead was a "little cloud no bigger than a man's  hand" 1 King 18:44. It was a little cloud but it was good enough for Elijah. In that "littleness" was packed  everything that Elijah had prayed and expected.

My little boy with autism did an interesting thing some weeks ago that got me on my knees giving glory to God. You see with autism, you have to initiate and motivate good behaviour which could try the patience of even Mother Theresa and I'm no Mother Theresa!!

It was breakfast time and the menu was weetabix but Joshua was having none of it. Instead of throwing the usual tantrum to express his frustration, he gently pushed away the box of cereal, walked to the cupboard and brought out branflakes! In teary amazement, I gave him a hug and breakfast was tantrum-free.

My boy now pro actively makes requests and asserts his preferences. I almost did a triple jump  the day he gently opened the front passenger seat of my car showing his desire to sit beside me. These "little" milestones  might seem ordinary to other parents but to me it was  all the sign I needed.  Its about to pour "rain" in my household and my empty pots and buckets are ready for the flood

. The little drops of water is gradually becoming streams of water. The years of drought is over and I am overjoyed. I can see the little drops of water in my son's life, how about you? Don't give up yet! Whatever the situation,never discountenance the evidence of "little" that you are seeing; with God little is much!! If the "little cloud no bigger than a man's fist" was good enough for Elijah, then I'ma start celebrating.

One more P.U.S.H

It had been a very long day and the last thing I wanted to do was read Josh his bedtime story or pray at that. All I wanted to do was crawl under my cosy bed covers and sleep the day's stress away. My church had celebrated its monthly praise night and I'd been in heels all day...the ladies know what I'm saying- beauty aint for the faint hearted! To crown it all, Josh was in his element-he just wouldn't go to bed and unfortunately I was only in the mood to play bad cop but he would have non of it and neither would I. Ignoring his tantrums, I dragged myself to bed without reading him his story which made matters worse. You see, routine is very important to autistic children and Joshua has his. we have a ritual of reading a bible story each night and he loves the bible characters and the adventure they had-the unfolding stories was an adventure for us too as I dramatise every action. But not tonight!! I was too tired to play or pray. Bed time prayers was a routine for me too especially these past few weeks but not tonight! I needed to sleep. Just before, I hit the snooze button, I got this gentle nudge not to break the cycle that I'd taken ages to form despite my tiredness. I must tell you, it wasn't an easy decision but I dragged myself to my son's room and read him his story. True to form, the story calmed him and he gradually drifted to sleep. That night I prayed albeit sleepily and got the answer to a knotty issue that had been troubling me...HALLELUJAH. Its so easy to give up when things are not working out as planned. You wonder why you should smile when all you want to do is cry. Truth is, IT IS HARD. However,imagine a pregnant woman who'd carried her unborn child for nine months giving up mid labour because of the pain..ludicrous isn't it? The midwives don't tell her to give up but encourage her to give it one more PUSH. She ignores the pain and pushes, anxious to see her baby. Jesus gives the perfect example for not giving up and we are encouraged to emulate him. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Heb 12:2 Gradually one push leads to another and another eventually the baby comes out. Sometimes all it takes is one more PUSH. If you take a closer look at your circumstances you've invested too much to simply throw in the towel. God does not give up neither should you. Are you about to quit on that person, project or situation? Don't!! The answer might just be one push away. Pray Until Something Happens.