Letter to my Joshy

Appreciating my son at Christmas. He is much stronger than I give him credit for. How else does he manage to live with the Queen of Loko herself?
Dear Joshy boo,
I've made a lot of crazy decisions in my life and followed with a lot of crazy actions but having you tops it all.  Its been eight roller coaster years since you came into my life but it's an adventure I've come to enjoy with the highs and lows. I know its not your birthday but your smile makes me want to celebrate every day. Who knew it'll take a lil boy to turn this ogre into mush.

For many reasons this is the best Christmas ever and its because you are in it. We don't have much but we have each other and that makes other things trivial in comparison. YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS.

I feel like everything in my life was a build up to you; my choices, decisions, heartbreaks, regrets, rejections and applause. EVERYTHING.  You are the crescendo of all my achievements. NOTHING COMPARES WITH YOU. Every time, I see you the rejection, my past, pain and choices are all worth it. If I had done one thing differently, I would never have had the joy that you are my son. YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING. Thank God I chose you and I'll do it all over again maybe not via Onitsha..lol

Tend your Garden

My neighbour has a very beautiful garden. He somehow finds time to tend his little garden despite his busy schedule. For the love of me, I think he uses magic! I've got this gut feeling he is a leprechaun..lol Whatever the season, his garden is always looking plush and radiant with colours. My garden on the other hand is like a little wild land filled with weeds.

 Mind you I am clueless about gardening but I do love the idea of having a garden that will be the envy of my neighbours. I'm sure the people that built the house and included a garden did not intend it to be a mini Amazon forest but a haven filled with lovely flowers and plants to enhance the features of the house and give some pleasure to the owners. Right now the garden is anything but!  So I have decided to enlist the services of a professional to help bring life back to my little garden.

To give more meaning to this post, I decided to check what it means to tend.Tend according to the on-line dictionary means to apply oneself to  a task, give attention to, care for or look after.
Do you have a garden and what state is it in? In this instance, a garden is a metaphor for a dream, vision, family, health, finances, relationships, anything at all that is of significant value in your life.
God has put in every life a garden that He designed ultimately to display His splendour.
"they will be called oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of His splendour" Isaiah 61:3.
 There is nothing beautiful about a life gone awry and without structure. An untended garden has the tendency to attract wild creatures so does a life not fulfilling its original purpose. In fact its a sorry sight!
Like a garden, every life designed by God has inherent potentials for infinite possibilities if only we would guard and nurture what the lord has entrusted to us. Stop leaving your life to chance! Stop neglecting the things that are of utmost  important to you. Stop taking your health, family, finances, relationships for granted. Just stop because some of these people are irreplaceable.! Don't wait till it goes down hill before getting a grip.
I know what it is to lose grip on reality so this topic resonates deeply with me but THANK GOD FOR SECOND CHANCES!

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Every successful business or relationship is a product of conscious positive decisions. The people you see and admire did not leave things to chance but nurtured and tended their purpose, visions and that includes everything that is of significant value to them. YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY. What you carry is too beautiful/important to leave to chance and wild creatures to peck on. GET A GRIP.
Admittedly certain situations happen to us that cause us to lose focus but its time to get back in the grid and allow yourself to smile again. THE WORLD IS WAITING!

In gardening, certain activities are carried out to ensure a very aesthetic outlook and these rules are applicable to life.
DE-WEED-weeds are undesirable plants that have the tendency to choke out more desirable plants. In order to have a "beautiful" life vigorously uproot emotions, relationships and attitude that would bar you from making your desired impact.
NURTURE- This means care and feed what has been given to you and this includes your family, health, business, finances. Every farmer knows to nurture their plants and flowers so the garden does not grow wild  Don't let wild creatures devour what you are blessed with and don't you mess it up either. What you have in your hand is delicate.

PROTECT- Set barriers around your vision. Guard it jealously. Mind your influencers.
PLAN AND STRUCTURE: Not all gardens are shaped the same way. My garden is oval in shape while my neighbour's is square but enough to plant flowers and plants. What you have might seem small but it is right for you. Work with what you have.

SEEK HELP: Its OK to ask for help if you don't know what to do. There are people out there who have overcome the challenges you are facing, seek them out. You only have one life, pride won't help you in this matter. I know what it means to ask for help and its beneficial in the long run. No use groping in the dark when help is only a phone call away.

Other factors include patience and commitment(would expand later. dashing for a meeting)
My prayer is that as the year draws to an end, you will receive grace to attend to the things that truly matter so your life will display the splendour of God. DON'T LEAVE YOUR LIFE TO CHANCE. TAKE CHARGE.
HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD.

Don't Miss Your Moment

Did you attend church service today? Hope you did and I believe you were blessed. Church was amazing for me. Wow! The way God chooses to use the choir never ceases to amaze me. I have told you about my choir. Its a small motley crew of less than ten people with little or no training in music but with a heart that pants after God. My humble self at the helm of affairs is the absolute joke of the century but I've learnt God uses the most unlikely people to perform His acts. Seriously I still don't get my role in this humour thing but I'm loving it. 

After such an experience the only thing left to do is rest and bask in the glow of God's love with a pillow and a bowl of hot pepper-soup.

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LIFE IS INDEED GOOD!! In the midst of my musing, my attention was caught by a conversation in the movie "Night at the Museum 2.  If you've been following the franchise you'll easily identify the scene I'm analysing. The museum was facing a major upheaval and Ben Stiller's character "Larry" was having a deep conversation with Teddy Roosevelt when something happened. Teddy was giving one of his inspirational advice when Larry’s phone rang and interrupted the flow. One would think Larry who knew the dynamics of the museum would finish the conversation and attend to his call later but he didn't. By the time he was ready to hear the advice being proffered, Teddy had turned into a statue and he missed the moment. Larry thought he had all the time in the world but the distraction of a simple phone call cost him a valuable advice-and the call was not even important.

Sound familiar?  How many great opportunities have been missed simply because we assume there is still time. You blink and the moment is gone in a flash and you begin to wonder!.  

An indisputable truth is that you might not be able to control time but you can manage the hours you have. Its about understanding the time and setting priorities. Remember the poem 

"tick says the clock,

tick, tick

what you have to do 

do quick

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Everyday life comes with packages and opportunities. Successful people recognise these opportunities and make the best of them. "I have seen something else under the sun:The race is not to the swift or the battle to to the strong, nor does food come to to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the brilliant or favour to the learned but time and chance happen to them all" Eccl 9:11.

Too many people waste time on trivias', questioning what is not, reliving what is past and worrying over what might not be instead of dealing with the now. STAY IN THE ZONE. Many times it comes down to the choices we make.. You either make a choice to improve your skills by reading or wasting time by chatting away the hours on mindless issues. You have a choice to be miserable or happy, its up to you. Just remember that while you are busy being miserable, precious moments that can never be regained are being wasted. LIFE WAITS FOR NO ONE. Make life changing decisions today.

Photo Credit;Jessica Phillips on Pinterest

Finally, the bible talks about a time when God will not be found Proverbs 1:28. How scary is that? It is scary but true. The greatest moment you have is now not tomorrow...DON'T MISS IT.  Don't postpone till later what you can do now. CHOOSE GOD TODAY.

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Choose Well

Life is full of choices and we are faced with a barrage of these choices daily. What to eat, where to live, what to wear and how to behave in the face of acceptable cultural and societal conventions. Should I or Should I not? Can I or can I not? Every choice no matter how silly or mundane carries its own relative consequence. As I sit typing this post after eating a fresh bowl of spicy pepper soup with unripe plantain-you guessed right, absolute heaven- my mind flipped back to the choices I made in the past; my reactions in the wake of difficult situations. How I allowed hurt and bitterness to drive my choices and its ensuing consequences. A great writer once said "we are the product of our choices" and that's so true. When life throws you lemon you have the option of making lemonades or gritting your teeth from biting into its acidic juice. That same lemon can be bitter or sweet depending on how it’s used. It’s easy to forget we have choices when we are hurt or offended. Wendy Blight writes that "we can surrender our hurt or hold on to it. We can harbour bitterness or extend grace". The truth is if you look back at your life in years to come would you be happy with the choices you make today? I have become more deliberate and calculative in the choices I make. I have learnt to choose peace over worry and faith over fear. You see worry and fear are not productive feelings rather they are energy seeping emotions so why live with them? My new guiding principle is "worry looks around, regrets looks back But FAITH LOOKS FORWARD". I CHOOSE TO LIVE BY FAITH! I choose LIFE. When faced with situations I can’t handle, I quickly roll it over to the person who has the track record of coming through on knotty issues and the rest they say is easy peasy.”Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."Philipians4:6-7. What an assurance we have!!

Since moving into my new house, my bills have increased and so has my FAITH. The lord has not brought me this far to ABANDON ME....never!! My God does not swing that way. Good choices are not borne from emotions rather from a position of grace, love, joy, kindness, forgiveness and CHOICE. I have also made a choice to LIVE AND ENJOY LIFE "not conformed but transformed by the life giving WORD OF GOD. What about you? Be mindful of the choices you make today, make the right ones.

Death by TV

I love television! Infact, I can sit in front of the television all day and only get up to eat,pee or do whatever is important enough to draw my attention away from my beloved entertainment box. Watching television in itself is not bad but what I actually feed my subconcious with is a major cause for concern. Horror movies, cartoons, you name IT and I'm all over IT. Where is the NEWS in her watch list? Ironic isn't. A news person that doesnt watch NEWS. Aside from my passion for TV -Its made me more loko than normal-its an escape mechanism for me(how else would you explain my love for Homer Simpsons? its unbelievable..lol). Once during a diploma programme, I was asked who would I love to be the next President of the United states and in my poshiest and most confident voice, I said HOMER J SIMPSON! The class erupted in laughter and the lecturer fortunately made a mental note never to ask me any question during the duration of the programme. On a positive side, it helped break the ice in the class as I was the only dark skinned person taking that course. yeah...so I made some friends. One particular Christmas I chose to pay for movies subscription than buy a Christmas tree( still don't regret that decision...watched the most fantastic movies that winter lol) People have different escape mechanisms. some drink, smoke, party and even indulge in recreational sex..Yep! that too. While some actually blank out or walk away from troubling or worrying situations. I watched a documentary recently about a young lady(was actually born a boy that in itself is worrying)who dresses as a little baby, wears diapers, sleeps in a crib and bottle feeds herself as a method of escaping stress. After a psychological assessment, it was found that asking her to stop this damaging habit would do more harm than good. Did I judge her? NO rather I empathised. I don't approve of her choices mind you! More importantly,I'm saddened that she chose not to do something about her negative choices and face her problems instead of hiding behind diapers and baby dresses. Leah had an escape mechanism too. Gen 30 is an account of how she kept having children to solve a deeper emotional issue-get her husband to love her. She felt having more and more children would make her more loved and appreciated as a woman. But childbirth only gave her temporary relief and never solved the underlying issues. I have decided to change my coping mechanism and do something more constructive and instructive with my time. I won't cut off television entirely rather reduce the hours spent infront of it afterall I'm not a zombie! I refuse to be part of the statistics of people who spent over half of their lives glued in front of the television. I WILL NOT BE ZOMBIFIED BY FOX TV..LOL. You don't drink, smoke, womanise? good for you! but I have a weakness and its TV. I won't make excuses for myself or hide behind my challenges but would do something positive about it. "to tackle a great power, you need a greater power"(got that from 9th grade ninja-a cartoon series on Disney..lol see what I mean!). I've decided to meet my television addiction with prayer and the word of God. It's not gonna be easy but I'm positive on this particular life choice. Its not going to be death by tv for me but DEATH TO TV. P.S might start reviewing television programmes atleast sift the crap for you. LOVE YOU HOMIE.