Lessons from Mama Angela: Maintaining a right attitude in challenging situations

I dreaded making that call but it had to be done. With trembling fingers I dialled her number praying I could hold the tears at bay and not prod her pain any further. "Gladys", she said on picking the call. "You see how daddy leave me go", she continued. "but I bless the name of the lord. I'll speak with you later" and she hung up the phone. That was Mama Angela and her husband of over thirty years had just passed on to be with the lord.

Late Deacon Okasor (probably saying Hallelujah..lol)

 Despite her obvious pain and anguish, the voice at the end of the voice was strong and steady. How could she still find strength to bless the lord in all this? I wondered! Her voice was that of a woman who knows that even death is a temporary separation given their relationship with Christ.

Mama Angela is my mother's younger sister but everybody calls her mummy. She looks like my mum, talks like my mum and is as soft spoken as Paulina. Infact the older she gets the more "paulinaish" she's become(now I'm crying and typing.its been 13 years but Paulina's passing is still as fresh as the day I heard she's gone to be with the lord but back to my story).

In all my years I've never heard mama Angela shout or scream at anybody-she no just get the liver! Its so easy to wrap her around your fingers and I did that a lot especially when I was in the hospital after the accident in which I lost three fingers on my right hand. In order to get out of simple things including taking my bath, I'd moan and moan and she'll get the nurses off my back. She didn't want the nurses hurting her lil girl anymore than necessary. She felt it was her duty to protect me now that my mum was no more.

Paulina Otono(my mum)

My relationship with mama Angela became closer during those trying weeks in the hospital. We were now in a closer proximity compared to my pre- accident days. I was grateful for her presence though I knew it was difficult for her. Mama Angela is a clean freak and the hospital environment was not her comfort zone. I noticed the way she wrinkled her nose when other patients were sick or the horror on her face when someone died. She kept on pleading the blood of Jesus..lol. Thank God the blood never runs dry as my aunty used up a good amount those days..lol. 

we were in the hospital for weeks on end but she never complained. I knew she missed her husband but she never said it once-I saw it in her eyes especially after the daily calls from him. Mama Angela would smile that gentle trademark smile of hers and sigh. With my eagle eyes I never missed those sighs until she opened up( no thanks to my persistent pestering) that she'd never been separated from her husband for so long  until my accident. That evening,the heartfelt confession of this lovely lady melted my otherwise heart of stone in that dreary hospital ward many miles from home. I was touched that she could sacrifice the comfort of her family to stay with me in the hospital but it was her husband's wish.

Now daddy has gone to be with the lord. They'd been blissfully married for over thirty years and now daddy is gone. He'd suffered an unfortunate accident at work and now is no more. Their marriage was not without its own challenges but they fought through together to model a God fearing home to their children.

Mr Okasor(late) and Mrs Okasor

Mama Angela and her husband are barely separated for weeks on end except when daddy is away at work but now they are separated by death. HOW WILL MUMMY COPE? That questioned lingered in the heart of everyone given her relationship with husband. But mummy is coping well because she has JESUS. Mama angela is not cursing or blaming God though her husband's death was sudden and painful. She knows who has power over death.

 The lesson from mama Angela shows that the true mark of a Christian is revealed in trying times. Do you break down or lean on God? Proverbs 24:10 "If you are weak in times of trouble then you are weak indeed" Despite my Aunty's soft façade these trying times have shown that her strength is more than skin deep. Like Job the last thing you'd expect her to do is bless the name of the lord but that has been her mantra. Its okay to brandish the bible about like a weapon but how much of the word is hidden in the heart of the carrier to be used in moments like this? 

There is no denying that the passing on of a loved one hurts but there is help for the broken heart.  Psalm 147:3 "He heals the broken heart and binds up their wounds".

Nothing prepares for the loss of a loved one and it always hurt especially when its sudden and you never get to say goodbye.Your loss might not be a loved one but a loss anyway, I pray you will embrace God's healing today in Jesus Name.

Dear mummy, I know you hurt more than words can describe but you have handed over your pain to the one whose word is salve to your wounds. Thanks for being the pillar for all of us while in turn making Christ your strength. You are a perfect example of the strength of a godly woman even in these moments. May the God of all comfort be your comfort in Jesus name.

Kenneth Copeland Ministries - Lesson 1 : God Wants Us to Prosper

Kenneth Copeland Ministries - Lesson 1 : God Wants Us to Prosper

God Understands.

It was a brand new cup and I'd broken it! It wasn't just any cup, it was my fathers cup! Immediately' the tears started flowing like a stream and  painful sobs escaped my lips. I'd broken my father's cup. I was in deep trouble. In the shattered pieces, I saw fragments of my young life broken literally.

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What's the fuss about a cup you wonder? well I must say this was more than a magical cup it was my father's cup. Good ol Chief(my dad) was as stern as he looked. Many often asked if he was a military man because of the permanent scowl on his face and the bark that was his voice. But he'd never been in the army. His grumpiness was just a façade that he wore but I didn't know that that night. What was topmost in my heart was the severe scolding that awaits me-that's if I was lucky. My fathers bite was terrible but his bark cut like a knife so I dreaded both.

Photo Credit:www.dreamstime.come.

How do I explain that I'd broken his new cup even before it made it into the house. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. As was tradition in my family, I'd rushed out to welcome my dad as his car zoomed into the compound. I was helping with the things he'd bought when the carrier bag broke and everything fell through the bottom including his new tea mug. Words can not express the terror that swept through my being at the thought of being the object of my fathers wrath that evening. why me? I asked the heavens. I hated getting into trouble but therein I found myself.

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Seconds turned into minutes as the tears continued to pour and sobs wrench my tiny body. I couldn't bear to go inside to narrate what had happened. I was too scared-scared of the beating or tongue lashing that would follow.
The shadow looming over my frame jolted me out of my dirge. it was my father. He'd freshen up and was expecting his evening cup of tea but non was forthcoming so he'd come looking for me.
"What are you doing outside and why are you crying? asked my father.
With voice trembling in fear, I explained what had happened.
"is that why you crying? he asked. "its just a cup, he continued. "Common get inside and make me a cup of tea.

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My trembling legs could barely lift me as I walked into the house expecting a smack on the back of my head for my carelessness but none came and neither was the scolding. My father made no mention of the cup but carried on like nothing happened. I was expecting a dire beating or scolding but got none except the usual grumpiness which was allright with me given the circumstances.
I am reminded of our heavenly father's love following the events of that night. God loves us and understands our frailties. He is aware of our struggles with sin like Paul rightfully described in Romans 7:19" "For the good I want to do, I do not do but I practise the very evil that I do not want.
God understands we cannot win the battle over sin in the flesh that is why He sent His ONLY son to die for our sins. God the son walked the earth so has first hand experience of our frustrations.
Jesus is qualified to stand before the father as advocate and High priest on our behalf because He has walked in our shoes too "we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses but One who has been tempted in all things as we are yet without sin.Therefore let us draw near confidence to the throne of Grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need" Hebrew 4:15-15.

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Many times when a person sins', there is the natural inclination to hid behind fig leaves just like Adam and Eve but God wants us to approach Him seeking help. He is not ignorant of our weakness but He wants us to come to Him nonetheless.
That night many years ago, I'd cried needless tears expecting a punishment that never came. If only I'd buckled up and told my father what had happened I would have saved myself the heartache. At the end of the day I found compassion because my father understood that accident happens to even the best of us despite our best intentions

Chronicles of a Clogged Toilet

Nobody wants a clogged toilet but it sometimes happens. The effect is unsightly and inconvenient especially if you've got a single bathroom. Sometimes what causes a clogged toilet are not necessarily what you'd think especially if you've got  children in the house. These culprits could range from a doll head or anything deemed fit to take a royal bath in the loo.

Photo Credit www.free-extras.com

In anticipation of these unwanted accidents- because surely they do happen- I have a toilet plunger ready at hand. In fact after the first incidence I waltzed off to YouTube to learn simple tips on how to unclog a blocked toilet. No point being caught unaware  again!
Just like the basic loo, life too can get clogged up despite a person's best intention. A clog is an obstruction or hindrance that prevents the flow of a process. A simple life can be clogged with too much activities especially in ones daily pursuits and commitments.

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In the hurried existence that is synonymous with today's lifestyle, it is a trap that many people are unconsciously caught in. Many people are bogged down or chocked wit a lot of issues. The past, fear of tomorrow, financial worries, and health scares are some of the issues that can clog the lives of people. If a normally pleasant person starts acting contrary it could be evidence of a clogged up life.

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 Sometimes in trying to be helpful to others we take up too much and the result is frustration, stress,bouts of anger and for emotionally charged people, the teary waterfalls. Even unhealthy relationships can clog up a person's life. Any activity or relationship that does not enhance your effectiveness or capacity as a person but drains you emotionally, financially, psychologically etc. is definitely a clog.

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In the Christian life, Sin is the major clog for the believer. It hinders, impedes and hampers every aspect of a believers life. An otherwise "fire band" becomes lukewarm and lacklustre in bible study, prayers and vibrant relationships become practically non existent. Fellowship becomes a drag and a bore. Hebrew 12:1 encourages us to "throw every sin that easily entangles us".  These includes habits and thought patterns that hamper a persons effectiveness.
Like the occasional toys and bric a bric that find its way into my loo, distractions will happen but be on your guard! Be Prepared!
How to deal with a clogged life.
1. Guard your thoughts-As a man thinks in his heart so is he. It is imperative to watch what goes through the gates of our heart "whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.things. Phil 4:8 Watch your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the issues of life Proverbs 4:23. 
2. Relax-Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10
3. Stop Worrying- Cast your care on the Lord and he will sustain you;He will never let the righteous be shaken.
4. De-clutter-If you have too many things going on then its time to prioritise and balance your life.
5.Be Prepared- Don't let the challenges of life catch you on aware. Immerse yourself in the word so much that the sword of the spirit is ready for the draw at the given opportunity. "your word have I hidden  in my heart that I might not sin against you" psalm 119:11
6. Pray-prayer is not a past time but a lifestyle that enhances relationship with God."pray without ceasing" 1Thess 5:17.

7. Unforgiveness- You know the saying that unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting another person to die. It is the person who's holding the grudge that is hurt most by its effect.
8.Know you strengths and focus on them.
9. Let go off the past and embrace the present-"therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things have passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
10. Praise; have you heard the phrase, Praise changes perspective? well it does. Many times we are hampered in life because our focus is on the self instead of God. Change your perspective and life will be easier.
Chances are we will all get clogged up sometime but the way out is found in the word of God. lets get plunging.

When Seven is the Crown of Ten

My younger sister describes me with the number seven. its not because I'm the seventh child of the seventh child(lol) but because I have seven fingers following a ghastly motor accident in 2003. Despite this physical challenge I'm undeterred rather resolute to make a difference in life seven fingers and all. The significance of seven occurred to me after I read a loving poem written by my sister and dedicated to me.(Vickie is such an amazing writer). I realised seven is the number that denotes completion and perfection. In an article written by William Brown posted in Sermon Central "one is the number of God, Six the number of man. Man is far from complete in his natural state but when man receieves God as his God and Saviour  then incomplete man becomes complete. ONE +SIX=SEVEN.  
she calls me seven not to mock me but as constant reminder that I've done more with seven than I did with ten.

Gladys Otono Atsenokhai (MC SHAKARA

I have done more with God than on my own . Its not a reminder of what I've lost but what I've gained with God. My seven fingers remind me of the frailties of the flesh and the strength of God. Man is nothing without God. When I see myself in the mirror, I don't see imperfections, I see strength, I see beautiful, I SEE GOD WHEN I SEE SEVEN. Enjoy the beautiful poem by Vickie Ara Otono(yep! she changed her name again..lol.

The Flip Side of Counselling.

I over heard someone counselling a friend on the phone the other day and the conversation virtually spooked me . Like seriously. I didn't mean to eaves drop on the conversation but given my vantage proximity with the "counsellor" on the train I had a good seat in the house for a "good listen".

 From the one sided conversation, I gleaned that the caller who happened to come from a dysfunctional family had just lost her mother and was in dire need of comfort as expected. However the words of the "Counsellor" were anything but comforting. It ranged from tossing blame to fuelling the already smouldering fire in the other person's life. I practically cringed at every suggestion that this person made. I am not a counsellor and I believe neither was the person. This person was not helping in anyway but was driving a wedge between members of an already bickering family. As at the end of my temporary assignment as "unpaid Amebo" I almost became depressed and I wondered what state the other person would be in. 

Friends, its good to seek help even advice from others but more importantly be mindful of whose advice you are seeking. Not everybody is a  qualified  counsellor.  The on-line dictionary describes a counsellor as a person who gives counsel or advise. The person must be qualified!.If I need advice concerning my car I go to a mechanic not a hairdresser. However I can approach a hairdresser if the person has experienced similar challenges that I am privy to and has constructive advice . Before I bought my current car I sought advice from a friend who'd driven same model to know the benefits or otherwise of the car. Counselling in itself is good and most times necessary if a person is seeking help in dealing with an issue.   A counselling session should therefore bring clarity not condemnation. You shouldn't feel worse after sharing the issues that concern you with another person.

JESUS AS COUNSELLOR

When Isaiah prophesied concerning the birth of Jesus in Isaiah 9:6, he described Him as the "Wonderful Counsellor". He is a wonderful counsellor because His words/advice does not bring condemnation. A person is much better after encountering Him."there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ" Hebrew 4:15

Jesus is a qualified Counsellor because He's been through everything that you are going through. "for we do not have a High Priest who's able to empathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are-yet did not sin.
THE HOLY SPIRIT AS COUNSELLOR.
One of the attributes of the Holy Spirit is Counsellor amongst many. When Jesus was going to be the Father, He did not leave the disciples bereft but comforted them in the person of the Holy Spirit to help, intercede, strengthen and counsel the disciples and us too in this dispensation. 

For now I've given up eaves dropping, don't want to be depressed by another person's palava! 

Mr Fix it

I am the crappiest person when it comes to D.I.Y. I'm just all thumbs when it comes to anything self assembly  even with products that come with the most basic manual. As far as I'm concerned manuals are written in gibberish and the pictures just don't compute with me. Don't blame me please! I didn't know how to change a bulb up till I was 28 but these and many more I started doing as a single parent(make that forced to).

  There is a saying that "necessity is the mother of invention" and I rightly agree. Prior to living alone I never showed interest in anything outside my immediate female sphere i.e money, career, men and eating. Cooking did not come close...lol. Things changed for  me as a single parent living far from home. I learnt to change light bulbs, pay bills, do basic checks on my car etc. There were some things I could fix and some that I had to enlist the help of a professional. Good ol' Andre is my fix it guy. He fixes everything in my house including electrical, painting, carpentry. I break it, Andre fixes it. I need anything assembled, Andre is just a phone call away.

In the Christian walk, the Holy Spirit is the go to person when anything is broken or needs assembling. The flesh cannot help itself because its inherently flawed and weak. Paul aptly express the weakness of the flesh in Roman 7:18-19 " for I know that nothing good dwells in me that is in my flesh; for the willing is present in but the doing of the good is not.For the good I want to do I do not do but I practice the very evil that I do not want"
Now since the corruptible flesh cannot help itself it therefore needs the incorruptible to save it in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Since we are in the dispensation of the Holy Spirit, He is the go to person when you want something done. John 14:26(Amplified version) describes Him as the Comforter, Counsellor, Helper, Intercessor,Strengthener and Standby. You need the Holy Spirit for everything from salvation to victorious living.
Everybody with a gadget knows that some things are best repaired by its manufacturer. Who else can restore a broken world or person except the creator and those that were present at creation. The book of Genesis helps us to know that the Holy Spirit was right there at beginning of creation. I call Him God's MUSCLE MAN.

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Jesus knew the disciples will be ineffective without the Holy Spirits that is why He told them in the book of Acts to wait in Jerusalem for the outpouring of the Holy and what a transformation they had when this happened. Peter went from preaching to a hundred and twenty people to an incredible three thousand! He couldn't have done that without the Holy Spirit.
The Holy spirit equips the saints, teaches, guides and enables the believer to live a victorious life.  He also interprets scripture and turns word of God into pictures.No more struggling to understand the bible.

Life will be a constant struggle without the Holy Spirit. Are you battling an addiction or need help in your Christian walk? Only the Holy Spirit can help not will power or good intentions.What are you waiting for? Call on the Holy Spirit, He's just a prayer away.

Slow down and smell the flowers.

The 21st century life is largely fast paced. Everybody seems to be in a hurry to God knows where. Today's generation can be aptly labelled the microwave era. Everything is quick no time to waste. Even advertisers and manufacturers are narrowing their products to suit today's consumers. Everything is on the go-food on the go, gadget on the go-on the go to where I ask?

 I was slightly amazed some months back when I discovered the small oats pot for the busy person. Simply add hot water and its ready to eat. I wonder how it will compare to the "normal" oats variety that you have to properly cook. Call me old fashioned but there must be a difference even if its marginal.

 Some will argue that time is a precious commodity which nobody has to waste. I totally agree but in blazing through life many lose touch with reality barely noticing or truly appreciating the people or things that really matter. I am no art critic but I do know nobody breezes through an art exhibition. Art lovers stand over a painting or sculpture, evaluate the project and try to understand the mind of the artist while creating the object.

Picture Credit:www.perkincentre.org

Even if the art looks dismal and uninteresting all artistic persons know there is a purpose behind every creative art and exhibit. That is why a visitor to an exhibit will pause and observe a display in order  to enjoy the creativity of the artist and resulting creation. Without this evaluation and deep scrutiny the effort is simply "waka pass". It leaves the observer with no lasting impression or lingering essence. In all, the experience is a blur, a simple waste of time without proper understanding or relevant benefits.

Have you ever given up on a person or project only to wish you'd given it a bit more time. I have and so have a lot of people. I have missed out on great opportunities due to impatience and I've formed great relationships that seemed contrary at the beginning but turned out amazing simply because I stopped to enjoy these people and not breeze through them.
I love the way cooks on food channels taste food. They not only taste the food, they savour and relish the food like its the best thing after Jesus.

My son loves flowers and was in his elements during the summer months. He'd stop and admire the fields with their burst of flowers and array of colours. Many times he'd suddenly stop in his tracks and pick some not minding if I was in a hurry or not. when my crazy rants couldn't get him to walk any faster when we strolled  past a particularly beautiful flower, I stopped to see what had grabbed his attention. In that moment, I realised that the flower was not only beautiful but smelt nice too and I was captivated.
As brief as Jesus' ministry was on earth, he knew how to slow down and impact the lives of those that came within his sphere. The bible is filled with instances of the occasions that Jesus noticed, stopped and consciously made a difference in the life of a person. There was no rushing Jesus.
Life is beautiful and its only when we slow down and appreciate the various moments that slide past us that we've truly lived. Then you'd notice that your cranky boss is actually going through a divorce or that errant little child just needs extra attention. A wise person once said its not the number of years a person has lived that matters but the number of lives in the years that really counts. Create moments! Live moments! Life will be a blur until we slow down and smell the flowers.

More Than a Waka Pass Woman

A waka pass role in the Nigerian movie industry is a "barely- there" role that neither makes a difference nor enriches the plot of a movie. It is a forgettable role that a person performs in a movie that is neither memorable nor leaves the viewer longing for more.

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Waka pass in popular Nigerian parlance is also used when someone is in another's person's face but not making any valuable contribution rather making abstract illogical interference into an otherwise positive situation. That person is then told "waka pass!" Waka pass has no useful destination and is not impactful. Its a forgettable flash in the pan occurrence or person.UNINSPIRING!

Photo Credit:www.freephotodigital.net.

Everyday life is made up of relationships casually formed or deliberately sort after. Life is all about relationships but some more interesting and longer lasting others. There are some people we meet in life who leave us craving for more interactions with them because of what they represent, who they are and for basically being themselves. Like footsteps in the sand, they imprint themselves in our hearts and lives.

Sometimes these group of people are simple, ordinary people who just impact others with their smile, personalty, experiences, actions, gestures or words. These special people draw attention to themselves by simply "being".  Their existence make a difference.
Meddy Adegboyega is definitely not a waka pass person neither is her life bland. Standing at over 5ft8 with a low cut hair style, she sure commands attention! Besides her physique and undeniable beauty, Meddy's story is that of overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges to become a solicitor and a  much sought after  international speaker.

Meddy Adegboyega Picture Credit: Unbreakable Relationship Ireland 

Just watching her speak at the Unbreakable relationship dinner organised by relationship coaches Dr and Mrs Marc Salubi Benson, I couldn't help but marvel at this woman who has managed to imprint my life and others with her story.

Dr and Mrs Mac Salubi Benson (relationship and Life Coaches)

I was not the only one captivated by this woman, everybody in the room sat with open mouth wonder and a revived can-do spirit simply by encountering Meddy. I met this astonishing lady in September 2014 but I still draw inspiration from the experiences she shared. Definitely Meddy is not a waka pass woman neither is my meeting with her a fly on the wall encounter. She is an inspiration!

Jesus had a more astounding impact in the life of the people he met. Nicodemus was so impressed with what he heard about Jesus that he sneaked in a midnight visit. John 8:3-21. The woman at the well became an evangelist following a life changing talk with Jesus. John 4:1-42. Though the Pharisees and priests despised Jesus, they still sought Him out. Jesus did not just waka pass during his time on earth, he impacted the world with his words and Life.
I am blessed with a lot of friends who have impacted my life over the years. Don't want to cause a riot by mentioning names but you guys are simply best. Don't mourn the relationships that are no longer meaningful in your life they were simply drafts through the window panes. I call them WAKA PASS PEOPLE. They never really mattered.

No more Apologies

I have made a lot of apologies in my life. I have apologised for being bullied in primary school. I apologised for being the object of another person's warped thinking. I apologised for being abused.I apologised for not standing up for myself and standing up to my abusers.  I apologised for not being a First class student. I have apologised for being too cautious and not adventurous enough.  I apologised for not being firm or even firm enough with people. I have apologised for being too soft. I have apologise for not standing for my beliefs. I also have apologised for being "too slow" to grow in my Christian walk. I constantly apologised for "getting knocked up".

 

 Oh how many times have I apologised to my son for not being a better mum or the countless times I apologised to perfect strangers for my son's challenges. In fact I have  apologised to all and sundry including  family, friends and foe alike not to forget waka-pass acquaintances. I have also found myself apologising for being disabled as a result of an unfortunate accident that led to the loss of 3 fingers on my right hand. In trying to live "peaceably with all men" I found myself bearing the brunt and apologising for other peoples mistakes and selfish acts but not any more!!

These trend of apologies trailed me for so long until the day I snapped. I was at an interview and had stretched my left hand for a handshake with my interviewer. Just in the nick of time I caught myself from apologising for being left handed. The accident was not my fault why should I apologise?  Why should I apologise for being disabled? With a smile I stretched my left hand forward and the man swiftly switched his right hand to left and reciprocated the shake. I took charge and the other person followed suit.

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Its one thing to apologise for consequences of wrong choices but another for being yourself. I refuse to apologise for having a sense of humour, for falling in love, for being different, for humility, for caring a tad too much, for offering too many professional services free of charge, for being too generous, for being mischievous, always having a twinkle my eye and always having something to say!  I definitely do not apologise for being a mother. NO MORE APOLOGIES! I have taken a stance and I stand for me!

I am me for a purpose and I accept myself flabs n all! I address my final apology to myself for not loving and living life to the brim, for being slow to realise that I am unique and for that owe nobody any apologies.

A Royal Invite

Have you ever wondered  what it would be like to get a special invite to an exclusive event  especially from someone you truly admired and respected ? Imagine the adrenalin and rush of excitement that would gush through you at the thought that this person did not only consider you fit to attend this exclusive party but  also painstakingly penned the invite themselves.  What an honour you'd think especially when you know you do not qualify for such attention.

I was minding my business the other day when my phone buzzed with a message. It was a WhatsApp message from Caroline Adebayo- Oke, Wife of the Regional Pastor of the Redeemed Christian Church of God Ireland inviting me to the Authentic Woman's Conference 2014. To say I was surprised would be the understatement of the year.

Photo Credit:Petr Kratochivl. www.public domainpictures.net

It was not a general text invite but an actual conversation with the Regional mummy as she is fondly called by all.

Mrs Caroline Adebayo-Oke Regional Cordinator GWF Ireland.

 She asked how Josh and I were doing which made the invite more personal. Till today I never bothered to ask how she got my number but was excited and content to just be in her phone book..lol. Who am I to receive the attention of these highly respected woman? I was determined to find out more. I had heard about the Authentic Woman's conference but had made no concrete plans to attend but my morning chat with the convener changed it all. My curiosity was piqued. 

Photo Credit:www.quickmeme.com

My earlier excuses not to attend the event suddenly seemed trivial in the face of heaven's attention. I felt for the Regional mummy to have taken time out to personally invite little me for this programme then God must have something great in store for me and He sure did. IT WAS AMAZING.   My earlier concerns about getting someone to mind Joshua or how I would manage if I took him along were taken care off. I heeded the voice of the Holy Spirit and took him along. Guess what? My son was the perfect boy barely made a sound(and you still think God didn't orchestrate my invite?)

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I had initially gone out of respect and to honour this amazing woman of God but was blessed beyond words. Infact I'm looking forward to the next conference.

Like me, Saul's grandson Mephibosheth must have wondered when he got the royal invite to David's palace. He must have quakered on his lame feet imagining death for himself after all his grandfather was anything but kind to David. Read 2 Samuel 9. What a surprise he got at the palace. Instead of death he got immeasurable blessings. "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. i will restore to you all the lands that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table. 

What a surprise! His fears were nothing in comparison with what awaited Him at the palace and so are yours.

The point of this post is that Eternal life with God is an exclusive event and Jesus the special invite that God has personally sent out to you "Look, I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, i will come in and we will share a meal together as friends"  Revelations 3:20. Why not give receive Him today and see the amazing blessings that awaits you. Please don't ignore. you'll be glad you accepted. I am.

Drop the crutches

Successful relationships don't just happen. They are the products of hard work, commitment, purpose, dedication with the constant infusion of  trust, love, motivation, encouragement, patience, gentleness, forgiveness and empathy among others. Patience is essential though not more than others but because every relationship consists of two different people from different backgrounds who have been been formed by different experiences. It could be culture, education, family even simple issues like political affiliations and leanings make up a person's persona.

 These differences would somehow find their way into a relationship even if one or the other person was pretending. A person can only wear a façade for so long before the cracks start showing. Outbursts of emotions or mis-used expression does not necessarily mean hate but might imply that the other person has not learnt a better way of sharing their pains or dealing with issues due to their formative experiences or sometimes poor choices.

 I mentioned poor choices because you can use your formative experiences as a crutch which eventually affects your relationship adversely.  An emotional crutch could be anything from fear, doubt, hurts, any excuse that keeps you from having and enjoying a better today. It holds you back and stifles your growth.  It could even be a person. The person with the crutch will eventually drag the other down if care is not taken.While a patience is a virtue, if absolute care is not taken the person with an emotional crutch that is unwilling to give it up will end up in an emotional wheelchair. SO BEWARE. 

 For healthier relationship, start making choices that will enhance your life, devoid of past experiences and emotional drama. I did a soul search recently and identified my crutches.Some were more obvious than others but crutches nonetheless.I grew up in a dysfunctional home(like you didn't) and had an emotionally charged teenage years.I logged around emotional garbage for years but got to a point that I had to consciously ditch the garbage so I could have a healthy life and future.  I got tired of using my past as a crutch and started making healthier and better choices for ME. I realised that the change that I desired must start with me. 

Nobody can run using crutches so why do people think they can have a healthy relationship while dragging past hurts and behaviours around? Dropping the emotional hangup is a personal choice that nobody can make for you, you have to take the decision. I consciously don't allow relationships that will not enhance me into my life. I surround myself with emotionally healthy people or those who are sincerely working on getting rid of the crutches.

 I say sincerely because some people are in denial that is why a soul search is necessary. David did it in Psalm 90:12 "teach me to number my days that I might apply myself to wisdom". A past boyfriend would rather run from a relationship than deal with issues but I'm the opposite. NO MORE RUNNING OR HIDING BEHIND CRUTCHES.

2015 is fast approaching. Instead of starting a new year with hang ups, why not do a soul search, identify the issues that hold you from being your best and drop the crutches. You'll walk taller then.

Finding My Purpose - John Maxwell

God's purpose is that we know Him and in knowing Him we know ourselves. Amazing and transforming teaching by John Maxwell.

Find Your Niche.

I have watched Monster's University, a Disney animated movie over a gazillion times but still can't get enough of the movie. I just love it. Aside from its entertainment values, I appreciate on a deeper level the underlying themes that runs through the plot. The movie follows the unusual relationship between Mike Wazowski and James Sullivan and how these mismatched monsters overcame their differences and became great friends. They overcame visible odds to become an impressive scare team, all these feats and more despite their obvious differences but between Wazowski's ingenious mind and Sully's Scary scream, it worked out well.

Photo Credit Sreencrush.com

However, the character of Wazowski is my focus in this post. Wazowski got on the Scare programme at Monster's University because he wanted to be a scare monster. It was a dream and passion that had followed him all his life. He was not only consumed by this passion, he pursued it relentlessly. His career choice was either SCARE OR SCARE nothing else! He read all the books on Scaring, had a plan and followed it meticulous. This one eyed monster did the "7 steps in achieving your vision" but there was a problem. Wazowski was not a scary monster! He looked more adorable and cuddly than scary. Everybody knew this except him. He knew everything about scaring, in fact he motivated his scare team into finding their inner scare yet he fell short of the scare standards.

Photo Credit.disney.co.uk

Wazowski had the head knowledge and strategies on being a scare monster but that did not translate well for him. He could help others be the best scarer but that didn't make him a good scarer until he found his true niche. Through a series of unfortunate events in the first instalment of the movie, Monster's Inc, Wazowski discovered his true calling-COMEDY.

Photo Credit Disney wikia.com

 Despite his drive and passion for scaring his niche was in making children laugh and in following that vision he made an interesting discovery and changed Monsters history. Although he excelled as Sully's supervisor in generating the most scream but as a comic he broke the bars and set new standards. He unwittingly discovered that laughter generated more energy and powered more homes than scream and this transformed "the monster world". AMAZING.

Photo Credit d23.com

While Wazowski is a fictional character his initial challenges are common occurrences among people. A lot of people are trapped in jobs and situations that are most definitely not their niche. Even if they are excelling at it, imagine the impact if its their true calling. Unlike Wazowski some fear change and would rather remain in a dead end situation than dare to change. In an episode of "How did you get so rich", a programme anchored by the late Joan Rivers, a man who'd been an average lawyer with a successful law firm found the courage to pursue his passion and became a successful Interior decorator highly sort after by Hollywood. He found his niche!

Photo Credit Tv Land

Your niche is a situation or activity that is specially suited to your interests, ability or nature. It is your vantage position for excellence. My dear friend Ota's niche is cooking. She makes the most mouth watering dishes and can whip up a three course meal from almost nothing. She has made a career from a natural ability that she also loves passionately.

Otaniyenuwa Omregie

My niche is talk and I'm good at it. Crowds don't faze me, infact I glow like a new bride anytime I hold a microphone. Standing before a camera or speaking to an audience is natural with me no stress or hassle. The words just keep coming and I've got a sense of humour to boot.

The media especially television is my passion. WHAT IS YOURS?
For anyone trapped in any destructive behaviour, it is definitely not your niche. You are created for more. Find your niche in Christ and you'll soar beyond your wildest dream. THAT'S A FACT!