God Understands.

It was a brand new cup and I'd broken it! It wasn't just any cup, it was my fathers cup! Immediately' the tears started flowing like a stream and  painful sobs escaped my lips. I'd broken my father's cup. I was in deep trouble. In the shattered pieces, I saw fragments of my young life broken literally.

Picture Credit: www.quoteco.com

What's the fuss about a cup you wonder? well I must say this was more than a magical cup it was my father's cup. Good ol Chief(my dad) was as stern as he looked. Many often asked if he was a military man because of the permanent scowl on his face and the bark that was his voice. But he'd never been in the army. His grumpiness was just a façade that he wore but I didn't know that that night. What was topmost in my heart was the severe scolding that awaits me-that's if I was lucky. My fathers bite was terrible but his bark cut like a knife so I dreaded both.

Photo Credit:www.dreamstime.come.

How do I explain that I'd broken his new cup even before it made it into the house. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. As was tradition in my family, I'd rushed out to welcome my dad as his car zoomed into the compound. I was helping with the things he'd bought when the carrier bag broke and everything fell through the bottom including his new tea mug. Words can not express the terror that swept through my being at the thought of being the object of my fathers wrath that evening. why me? I asked the heavens. I hated getting into trouble but therein I found myself.

Photo Credit:www.troll.me

Seconds turned into minutes as the tears continued to pour and sobs wrench my tiny body. I couldn't bear to go inside to narrate what had happened. I was too scared-scared of the beating or tongue lashing that would follow.
The shadow looming over my frame jolted me out of my dirge. it was my father. He'd freshen up and was expecting his evening cup of tea but non was forthcoming so he'd come looking for me.
"What are you doing outside and why are you crying? asked my father.
With voice trembling in fear, I explained what had happened.
"is that why you crying? he asked. "its just a cup, he continued. "Common get inside and make me a cup of tea.

Photo Credit;www.freedigitalphotos.net.

My trembling legs could barely lift me as I walked into the house expecting a smack on the back of my head for my carelessness but none came and neither was the scolding. My father made no mention of the cup but carried on like nothing happened. I was expecting a dire beating or scolding but got none except the usual grumpiness which was allright with me given the circumstances.
I am reminded of our heavenly father's love following the events of that night. God loves us and understands our frailties. He is aware of our struggles with sin like Paul rightfully described in Romans 7:19" "For the good I want to do, I do not do but I practise the very evil that I do not want.
God understands we cannot win the battle over sin in the flesh that is why He sent His ONLY son to die for our sins. God the son walked the earth so has first hand experience of our frustrations.
Jesus is qualified to stand before the father as advocate and High priest on our behalf because He has walked in our shoes too "we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses but One who has been tempted in all things as we are yet without sin.Therefore let us draw near confidence to the throne of Grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need" Hebrew 4:15-15.

www.freedigitalphotos.net

Many times when a person sins', there is the natural inclination to hid behind fig leaves just like Adam and Eve but God wants us to approach Him seeking help. He is not ignorant of our weakness but He wants us to come to Him nonetheless.
That night many years ago, I'd cried needless tears expecting a punishment that never came. If only I'd buckled up and told my father what had happened I would have saved myself the heartache. At the end of the day I found compassion because my father understood that accident happens to even the best of us despite our best intentions

Lost my way

He staggered round the bend right into a tree. "ouch", he cried as he rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his once elegant tuxedo. he barely noticed the blood stain on his jacket but he did feel the beginning of a nagging, no make that raging headache coming up. Holding his head between his hands he stumbled into the forest, staggering further into its pitch dark, balmy embrace. He kept walking without a clue where he was going but had this urgent need to walk deeper into the forest. the night had started beautifully enough. Posh, handsome son of a preacher but the way he had lived his life this past 6 years no one would believe he'd ever seen the inside of a church. "damm you to hell", he screamed at the errant branch that hit his face. He hadn't seen that coming but it didnt matter. He just wanted to get away from it all. The light, music, the women and this cursed headache that was slowly blinding him. H,e just wanted to get away from it all. "shit,shit,shit, shit" he screamed again as his foot caught the jutting root of a willow tree and he went crashing down on his face. Nobody heard the sound of the 6 foot man that fell in the forest that night, no one heard the gut wrenching, heart breaking sound that came out from a throat pirched with thirst. His voice was swallowed by the the thick forest and the dense darkness. He turned on his back and looked up into the sky. it was a moonless night with no star in sight. The sky had lost its light it seemed just like his life. He drew himself up and felt his way around the tree until he felt a good place to sit, devoid of jagged tree roots snarled all over the place. He felt lost infact he was lost in the forest. Nobody knew where he was not even the elegant lady he'd taken with him to the company dinner. It had been a beautiful evening but he'd felt alone, very lonely! he'd barely heard any of the conversation going on around him. He just had this sinking sensation at the pit of his stomach, an urgent need to run. Sweat broke out on his forehead and the room had started to close in on him. Tugging at his tie, he started to mumble something under his breath to his date but she was so engrossed in the delicate array of sweets that was being served up. without much ado he stood up and staggered out of the room. Nobody had noticed his exit. 6ft tall, elegantly dressed blond boy and nobody noticed him staggereing out of the room tugging at his tie and into his blue coloured sports car. He'd driven for hours into the night without any destination in sight or an inkling of where he was. It was the sputtering noise of the engine that forced him to stop the car. There was no other vehicle in sight. Not a soul on this dark lonely road except the allure of the forest. Deeper and deeper he'd wandered until he found himself curled as a baby at the roots of a willow tree drawing painful short breaths. He was so lost in thought that he didnt hear the sound of crashing feet in the forest. it took a while before he noticed the light of a flashlight beam into his face and a seeming familiar voice whisper "Jason, are you alright?". "I saw you run out of the party looking sick and drive off like a mad man. I just had to follow you". Are you alright? it was Mimi his secretary of 4 years at the law firm. Plain looking, quiet Mimi. "Are you ok boss? she asked lifting his face up and pointing the touchlight at him. "you've hurt yourself" she said when she noticed the blood running fron his nose. He'd forgotten about that. She lifted the hem of her dress and cleaned his nose with it. Like a mother hen she muttered soothing words to him. He started to cry. Gentle sobs wracked his massive frame as she held him in her small arms and rocked him like a babe. "everything's gonna be just fine" she said and kissed his tear stained face". "you'll be just fine". "We just need to get out of this forest and everything's gonna be just fine" she continued. "Help me",Jason whispered to Mimi. I'm lost. I lost my way a longtime ago. The drugs, women etc. help me Mimi. take me home to my mother she'll know what to do". Mimi looked into those baby blue eyes and saw not the arrogant man she'd worked with for 4 years and who'd barely noticed her presense but saw a little boy who'd lost his way. "Dont worry, I'll help you home. we'll find a way out of this forest together". She helped him to his feet and with the beam of the searchlight, the two of them made their way out of the forest. what an odd couple they made. The 6ft blonde eyed man and the pint size lady. The little one helping the larger one slowly out of the forest with gentle and encouraging words Recently I lost my way! I found myself lost, alone and simply going through the motions of christian life and almost making desperate relationship choices. On the outside, I've got it all together but inside i'm a crumbling mess. Sometimes when we lose our way nobody notices because we put up this facade that everybody is used to or we are afraid of the "condemnation" so much that guilt eats us up inside. We fear we'll be looked down on if we confess to another that for a brief moment we lost our heads. The sad truth is that you suffer the most as your christian experience or relationship is weighed down if the issue is not properly addressed and you retrace your steps. The ultimate goal is to have an enriching and fulfilling christian living but the journey to that is as important as the destination. It matters to God and it should to you too. I knew it was never going to be easy but mehn..i never knew it was going to be this tough. Being a single mother with its ensuing challenges had started taking its toll on me emotionally, psycologically and physically but a carefully chosen outfit, make up and comedy infused conversation....you'll never know that good 'ol "Sister preacher"(that's what Pastor Oluwagbemiga calls me) doesnt really have it together. Despite my inner tumoil, there is something holding the fabric of my life together, that deep desire that I need to find my way home back to my father with the help of an unassuming nor intruding friend that is always looking out for me and knows when I need help finding my way back home...THE HOLY SPIRIT. Its good to be back home in my father's home where its safe and secure. He has good intentions for me even when his plans dont make sense and I try to break lose like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 who rebelled against his father's "regime" but later "came to his senses" vrs 17. Our father is always on the look out for as many that would acknowledge their errors and crawl back home. Infact he is right at the window now watching out for you praying you to come back home. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it.Let’s have a feast and celebrate.For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate".