You are very special.

Editor's note:Every once in a while we come across people who touch our lives in special ways. Not because of who they are but for the simple and kind things they do. Having a child with special needs is challenging so when one meets a person who identifies with your challenges, it brings joy to your heart. I met one of such people at a church I visited some weeks back. He'd noticed my son was not talking and without asking too many questions, he slipped a note into my hands and whispered a short prayer before making his way to the elevators. I didn't immediately open the note but waited till I got home. The note was a well typed letter that my new friend always carried with him in the event that he'll meet someone in need of heaven's breath. That Sunday, Josh and I were the lucky recipients of this amazing love letter and I'm sharing it with you. Dear friend, no matter how many times life knocks you down, never forget YOU ARE SPECIAL.  You are God's own special design, heaven's love child and don't you forget it.

Much Ado About Pippa's bum

Do you remember the  Royal wedding of  Prince William and Kate Middleton in 2011? It was a real life fairy tale about rich prince meets non-royal but still rich girl..lol. More importantly, I do remember the furore that was made about the chief bride's maid Pippa Middleton's rear end. The international media went on a frenzy about Pippa's behind as she walked behind the bride.

 For a brief moment, the world was more focused on the younger Middleton's backside than the lavishness and pomp that symbolised the royal wedding. People quickly forgot the purpose of the live broadcast and focused on something else in the twinkle of an eye.

 I want to believe the creative mind that is today's generation can be stirred by something more than a butt but who am I kidding ..lol. However the attention fizzled out as quickly as it sprung.  Something else is driving the media today. Another day another drama. Pippa's backside enjoyed its brief moment in the news. Next news please.

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Popular culture is transient. What's in vogue today will not necessarily make tomorrow's headlines. It's no surprise celebrities outdo themselves to remain relevant and in the news. Fact is, every desperate act will be outdone by another desperate act but none will last for ever no matter how outlandish it might be.
We rush after fashion and fads that are here and gone tomorrow, leaving no lasting impression but a distant memory soon easily forgotten.

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Once upon a time Kate moss's boyish frame was the rave of the fashion industry. Fast forward several years and the world is craving  women with curves and all what's not.  Today's headlines is history tomorrow. So what's the ado?
" The world and its desires will pass away but whoever does the will of God lives forever" 1 John 2:17.  Focus on what really matters. Give attention to issues with eternal values "why spend money on what is not bread and your labour on what does not satisfy? Listen to me and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food" Isaiah 55:2.  Don't be carried away by fickle trends. like strangers in the night they soon go by. Need I say  more?.

Don't Miss Your Moment

Did you attend church service today? Hope you did and I believe you were blessed. Church was amazing for me. Wow! The way God chooses to use the choir never ceases to amaze me. I have told you about my choir. Its a small motley crew of less than ten people with little or no training in music but with a heart that pants after God. My humble self at the helm of affairs is the absolute joke of the century but I've learnt God uses the most unlikely people to perform His acts. Seriously I still don't get my role in this humour thing but I'm loving it. 

After such an experience the only thing left to do is rest and bask in the glow of God's love with a pillow and a bowl of hot pepper-soup.

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LIFE IS INDEED GOOD!! In the midst of my musing, my attention was caught by a conversation in the movie "Night at the Museum 2.  If you've been following the franchise you'll easily identify the scene I'm analysing. The museum was facing a major upheaval and Ben Stiller's character "Larry" was having a deep conversation with Teddy Roosevelt when something happened. Teddy was giving one of his inspirational advice when Larry’s phone rang and interrupted the flow. One would think Larry who knew the dynamics of the museum would finish the conversation and attend to his call later but he didn't. By the time he was ready to hear the advice being proffered, Teddy had turned into a statue and he missed the moment. Larry thought he had all the time in the world but the distraction of a simple phone call cost him a valuable advice-and the call was not even important.

Sound familiar?  How many great opportunities have been missed simply because we assume there is still time. You blink and the moment is gone in a flash and you begin to wonder!.  

An indisputable truth is that you might not be able to control time but you can manage the hours you have. Its about understanding the time and setting priorities. Remember the poem 

"tick says the clock,

tick, tick

what you have to do 

do quick

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Everyday life comes with packages and opportunities. Successful people recognise these opportunities and make the best of them. "I have seen something else under the sun:The race is not to the swift or the battle to to the strong, nor does food come to to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the brilliant or favour to the learned but time and chance happen to them all" Eccl 9:11.

Too many people waste time on trivias', questioning what is not, reliving what is past and worrying over what might not be instead of dealing with the now. STAY IN THE ZONE. Many times it comes down to the choices we make.. You either make a choice to improve your skills by reading or wasting time by chatting away the hours on mindless issues. You have a choice to be miserable or happy, its up to you. Just remember that while you are busy being miserable, precious moments that can never be regained are being wasted. LIFE WAITS FOR NO ONE. Make life changing decisions today.

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Finally, the bible talks about a time when God will not be found Proverbs 1:28. How scary is that? It is scary but true. The greatest moment you have is now not tomorrow...DON'T MISS IT.  Don't postpone till later what you can do now. CHOOSE GOD TODAY.

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Get A Grip!- Dealing with life issues

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What will you do if after a hard day at work, you come home to this? Probably faint, flip and flop in no particular order. No matter how many times you superstitiously snap your fingers over your head and say "God forbid!", this kind of  mess happens. As long you have children, this kind of mess will definitely happen maybe not of this magnitude..hopefully!
Kids will be kids and making a mess is part of their developmental process. Perfectly normal children will turn the house turpsy turvy to show they are alive, well and present. No matter how much we desire extremely quiet children, it becomes worrisome when kids don't do childish things like try on mum's shoes, make water splashes, mess up their food, its all part of the process. Except if its up to "Dennis the menace scale" then everything is absolutely fine. Your child is hey Ok. He or she is just having fun albeit at your expense!

Short of thinking you've inherited the modern version of the evil child in the movie "Omen" and reaching for the nearest bottle of holy spirit,  running out of the house in exasperation or even calling social services, clean up the "culprit", give them a good talking to, clean up the mess and life continues! MAKE IT A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

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Just as you would not think your child has gone crazy on you for making a mess, don't think it strange when challenges come your way. "Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through as if something strange thing were happening to you" 1 peter 4:12.

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The dictionary definition of Strange  is "something unusual, unfamiliar, differing from the normal. However scripture helps us to understand that "trials" are normal in the life of a believer. Its part of the process of life. As long as you are alive, challenges will happen. Its not strange! Its not unusual!! IT IS NORMAL.
However your attitude in the wake of challenges matters a lot. It is not the time to wail, stamp your feet, complain or give up. Evaluate the situation and tackle the challenge heads on. The train running late is perfectly normal but when its not running at all, find out why and possibly seek alternative means of transportation. ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I love the way David faced his Goliath challenge in 1 Samuel 17.  David picked a tried and tested strategy and ran headlong into the big bully causing Goliath to fall with a big bang.
 A lot of people waste valuable time worrying over their problems instead of dealing with them.STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM. Life happens to all of us both rich and poor, big and small, good and bad. A believer is not exempt from problems but he is not without help. "The righteous person may have many troubles, but the lord delivers him from them all" psalm 34:19 .

Don't run from problems, hide in denial or wish them away, THAT'S NOT LIVING. To live is to turn your trials into triumph.
Next time when "life happens", seek Godly counsel, step aside briefly from the situation to clear your head and strategize, seek help from good friends because we all need a shoulder to lean on. Finally, Remember you are not alone and problems are part of the process. GOD' GOT YOUR BACK.

Find your selling point.

The world is a market place full of buyers and sellers. It is a hub of activities with constant exchange of good and services. Unlike some trade centres, the world market is not product specific but full of diverse range of product and exciting offers.

 People visit the market to either buy or sell as market places are not recreation centres except for a third group of people who are simply window shoppers.  Given its dynamic nature, the world market is highly competitive with vendors vying to capture customers and sell their goods. No business person wants to go home without making sales. In all the seller is the most active in the world market Even the casual observer sometimes cannot resist the allure of the goods or the persistence of the seller .

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WHO IS A SELLER?
A seller is anyone who offers goods and services for sale in a market. He or  she has products tailored to meet a target market or demand. In order words, your specific gifts are the goods entrusted to you to sell to the world in either direct or indirect methods.
FEATURES OF A SELLER.
1. must have something that someone must be willing to buy.
2. must have a strategy to attract the right customer
3. must be able to create a demand for ther products
4. must be able to generate repeat custom for the product
5.The product must be in stock.
6.Know the market.
 WHAT ARE YOU SELLING.
If the world is a market place and you are the seller, what are you selling?. Everybody have unique skills and talents that are innate and dormant until discovered.. The world is full of needs that require fulfilment and it is only people that can satisfy those needs that will be appreciated. For instance, a person that is very sick will not appreciate a plumber as his needs at the time can only be met by a doctor. The doctor's selling point is his ability to treat sick people. Medicare is what he is selling! God did not create anybody empty. Colossians 1:19 says "out of His fullness we have all received"  and we know God does not do things in half measure so "you carry something".

Don't allow circumstances or your past or even naysayers talk you into believing otherwise "you have something to sell !".
You have within you ideas and vision that needs to be birthed to satisfy the needs of people "for the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God's sons to be revealed" Romans 8:19. 
The world is waiting for you to discover and embrace your unique selling point.  A wise person said "The provision lies where the vision is". Your wealthy place can only be found if you find and follow your vision and passion. YOUR VISION IS YOUR SELLING POINT.  When you find your vision, you find both provision and fulfilment.

I am a broadcast journalist with an insane sense of humour. Talk and stand-up comedy are my passion. So in in July, I obeyed the lord and organised a comedy night titled "Laugh Out Loud". The mandate was for God to restore broken lives through humour and HE DID. Already people are demanding for more and the next edition is in January. My passion and skills have become my selling point.

A winner at Laugh Out Loud

As a seller, your number one purpose in the market is to make sales. As a person you are created to positively impact your world. You are not permitted to return "home" with your God given talents.
So  what drives or motivates you? what do you like doing? When you discover what you like doing, it will automatically become your selling point.

The funniest story ever told.

Have you heard of the laughter club? believe it or not, it does exist. It's a place where  groups of people gather to laugh for no obvious reason. To the viewing public it seems crazy but there is a purpose to their "madness".

 Laughter is liberating, exhilarating, contagious and absolutely free. Its is food for the soul bringing life to both the body and spirit. My people say "laughter is the best medicine"  Laughter engages the body, mind and spirit. You cant be laughing and be still like a statue there is always an element of body and facial movement. To laugh you must also make meaning of what is being said or at least find humour in the  the expressive gestures of the speaker or situation.

Nigerian Comedian Akpororo.

 Laughter is an expression of joy, fulfilment, delight, favour or simple fun. Sometimes you don't need a reason to laugh but you laugh anyway. P.S make that a private affair before the people around think you've lost it and bundle you to the nearest Mental home!

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The best type of laughter is spontaneous and unbridled spurring a reaction in others hopefully not fear but curiosity and then like fire catches on.

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Have you observed that people notice when someone bursts into laughter? This is because laughter is captivating and enhances beauty.

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 Nigeria has a very rich crop of comedians. The mere sight of some of them can make even the grumpiest person burst into unbridled laughter. Its no wonder the comic industry is a very viable and booming industry not only in Nigeria but all over the world .  The industry is a giving industry; no amount of money can equate the pleasure or release that laughter gives. That's why people flock to these shows that promise  rib cracking laughter to those seeking release from stress or a place to simply laugh without holding back.

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Some of the funny stories shared range from the downright outlandish to the most bizarre while some laugh just by seeing the comedian's appearance, gestures or know his pedigree.

 However the funniest story ever told was not at a comedy show. Rather it surrounded the birth of Isaac-a child born to very old parents. The bible records in Genesis 18 that Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was way past child bearing age.. In fact there was no longer "juice in the factory" or any reason to visit the "factory sef". When Sarah was told she'd have a baby in her old age, she laughed. But who wouldn't? Her womb was dead and dead means dead no matter how you want to translate or be less blunt!. It was an idea she could not afford to allow settle in her heart. It was unbelievable! IMPOSSIBLE! Her condition defied any existing medical condition. But only God has power over death. I'm sure when she became pregnant and she told her friends, they laughed at her. "Poor Sarah", they'd say behind her back. "she's gone nuts with longing for a child". Eventually, their laugh of derision changed to unbelief then pure joy.  Now instead of laughing at her, they were laughing with her. Every time people heard Sarah's story they laughed and praised the name of the Lord.

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God is the true source of laughter. "He gives drink from the rivers of delight". Psalm 36:8. The broken, lame, hopeless, sick, all gather to drink from Him.The bible is filled with testimonies of God's humour at play. When a situation seems dire and without hope, God suddenly shows up and there erupts an unbridled burst of laughter transforming lives wherever the sound is heard.
Comic shows make people for as long as the program last and its back to reality. So why not find lasting source in Christ and His word? The haze of alcohol will fade, friends will go but the word of God stays with you for life!
Today's funniest story ever told is your making it against all odds. Despite the divorce, debts, medical diagnosis, rejections, and disappointments yet you are still standing; my dear you are a miracle.
Now turn that frown right side up, your situation is simply a set up so that  "everyone who hears your testimony will laugh with you.". THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

Developing effective communication in Relationships

Its been a very long weekend. Barely had time to catch my breath nor the chance to finish some articles that I've been working on. The past three days were packed with speaking engagements, event hosting, and lots of singing. Right now my voice is hoarse and my throat hurts so talking is painful.

 This means I am forced to keep quiet and rest. For someone who is driven to talk a lot, this is the worst thing that could happen. I am not good at being quiet except when I absolutely have to. Talk is my trademark, my tool of trade.

While driving home last night and mulling over my enforced silence, the holy spirit ministered the purpose and benefits of my keeping mute. I've been so busy running around that I'd barely heard time to truly fellowship with God. My quiet time had been subsumed in morally right activities with no quality moments with God except hurriedly whispered prayers as I zoomed through the day. The "noise" of too many activities was affecting my ability to hear God. I was speaking to God and not talking with Him and there is a huge difference there.. This one way communication was gradually touching a spiritual nerve and I was doing myself more damage than good. It was time for a spiritual relationship intervention or sit down!

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Man is created for relationship and effective communication is integral for every relationship to thrive. This entails the active involvement of both the speaker and listener including the environment in which the communicative event takes place. A lot of people make great speakers but bad listeners and this is a major cause of relationship breakdown. Lets examine factors that make a good communication event and how it can enhance your relationship.
THE ENVIRONMENT: Gen 3:8 "then the man and his wife heard the sound Of the Lord God as he was walking in the evening in the cool of the day". God came visiting His creation in the cool of the day not when its hot and sunny; in an idyllic setting. Effective communication cannot take place in a noisy environment neither does relationship thrive in stormy circumstances. Its just like discussing love matters in a packed stadium during a football match for that matter. In such an event, the speaker will be shouting and we know shouting is not communication while the listener is busy sifting through the noise to make meaning of what is being said. Both are thereby struggling to benefit from the communicative event.
ii. value becomes lost given the non- conducive  environment.
iii. communicative event becomes non productive.
iv. Relationship breakdown.
. So find or create the niche environment that works for you.
THE SPEAKER; the speaker must have something of value to share with the listener. "everything you say should be kind and well thought of" Colossians 4:6.  you should leave a communication event better than when you started. God has something beautiful to say and wants to hear what you have to say too-communication is a two way event. No right thinking person bursts into a scene, have his say and walks out without expecting a response that would be a monologue not dialogue. In a relationship you talk not speak as talk is more engaging
THE LISTENER: listening is an essential skill in communication. Some people are great speakers but horrible listeners as mentioned earlier. That is why listening is an art form that can be cultivated "be quick to listen but slow to speak" James 1:19. In the rush of too many words we may inadvertently hurt another.
DON'T USE WORDS AS WEAPONS: have you heard you  the poem "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? well, that's so not true! Hateful words cause deeper wounds and leave emotional scars. So watch it.

BE CLEAR: Say what you mean and mean what you say-no double meaning.
BE MINDFUL OF NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE: Body language is a non verbal form of communication that may reveal clues to a person's real intention. It might be unspoken but speaks volume in touch, gesture and perception. Sometimes before you open your mouth to speak, your body has done all the talking.

FEEDBACK: Feedback is the response of an audience to a message. it shows the participant in the communication even understands what has been transmitted and provides an adequate response. It shows the communication has truly involved the participants. Don't assume your partner understand what has been said, ask for their opinion or input on the matter.
MAKE AN EFFORT; Scriptures records that Jesus gets up early while it was still dark to Pray. Mark 1:35. Jesus recognised the necessity of making time for God. Nobody can lay claim to be busier than Jesus but he consciously carved out time for fellowship with God. He understood the importance of communication to  his relationship with God and success in ministry.
A lot of couples are caught in the mad rush to make ends meet and important communications are most times shared via e mails, text and phone calls. Most face to face encounters are made brushing past each other as they rush to work and small talks at bed time. No wonder a lot of relationships are suffering. Technology is meant to enhance not replace face time. For any relationship to thrive, communication must be deliberate and proper face time deliberately ear marked.
SEEK IT OUT: Yes! seek quality communication with your partner don't just wish it into existence. Remember it takes making an effort. In Genesis 3, God sought Adam and Eve out. He didn't leave the job to his creation alone. He went looking for them.
CONCENTRATION: I love the idea of date nights for couples. Just two of you without interference from the children. Its a perfect chance to catch up with each other and steer the focus off diapers and school fees. Date night allows couples focus on each other without distraction. It create room for concentration. Please, this not the time for facebook chat, remember why you are there.

KNOW YOUR PARTNER: Ofcourse you know your partner but do you know his/her temperament? Use your knowledge to create a communicative event that suits his/her personality. Some people love a build up to request while some want it direct. For instance, a friend would wake her husband in the middle of the night to have serious discussion but that strategy will only drive me nuts! I don't like being woken from sleep simple! It doesn't matter the topic is, I'd appreciate it before my sleep but it works for her. When I was younger,it was an unwritten rule never to ask anything from my dad until he is rested and eaten after a hard day at work. Every request must be made after the evening news. He was always cranky pre-dinner!

Some times strategic intervention such as counselling are required to rekindle the spark, if so seek it . Every successful relationship involves two matured adult who are are willing to make the necessary efforts to make it so.  For Zechariah the father of John the baptist, His tongue was stilled so  the promise of God will not be delayed because of unbelief thankfully mine is a simple sore throat. Quietness is not my strength but it can be learnt. Perfect chance to catch up on my bible reading plan and simply bask in the warmth of God's love. It'll be a long appreciated rest in stillness and quietness not to forget requisite mug of green tea. That can't be too bad.